BlatherWatch

Friday oddems: returning to obscurity; hemorrhoidal FCC tool; wiki quickie with rachel marsden; sex out of the box; nancy-frigging-grace; humble-frigging-dori; a latvian, two filipinos, and a truckdriver

 ~~ "Returning to obscurity" is how David Goldstein framed his future after a good run filling-in for Dave Ross (KIRO m-f, 9a-12p). We asked in a post, last week: "How's Goldy doing? hoping to get some feedback on the local, novice, liberal blabbermouth's radio performance. Of course, we got an earful. But there's some good advice there, once you get by the Goldy-haters. Does up-and-comer David have a chance in a local talk market that's shrinking before our very eyes? Probably not, unless, of course, he's willing to do celebrity astrology, and forsake his trademark wonk for awesomeness.

~~Speaking of Too Beautiful to Live, (KIRO m-f, 7-10p) Gay Gary says he's finally loving the new show since the sexual tension has been ratcheted up, "like," he says, "A LOT!" He noticed it when Jen producer was out sick and Sean and Luke were left alone. "... Luke was going into the control room with Sean where he was planning on doing the show the rest of the night. 'It's boys night tonight!' he gleefully announced. (OMG!) He then had Sean inspect a skin rash he'd developed. (OMG - x2!!!) What will happen next?! I don't know but it's like a radio soap opera you guys! I'm just hoping the prudes at the FCC don't make them move the show to Sirius or XM now that things are heating up." Gay sexual tension on talk radio? Gotta agree with Gary: that's thinking out of the box... (photo: Sean)

Will the mariners kill kvi?

Can KOMO radio keep the lucrative contract for Seattle Mariners play-by-play?

There's a lot riding on the winner-take-all tug of war; which rages on even as we speak. KOMO's prime competitor is Bonneville, who now owns KIRO, KTTH, and FM KBSG, known as B97.3.

The Mariners' contract, last signed in 2002 when KOMO stole it from Entercom when they owned KIRO, was thought to be worth more than an annual $10 million, a record at the time for a ny major league baseball radio broadcast agreement.

KOMO radio reformatted to suit and to shore-up the baseball schedule, dropping its talk shows, and becoming an all-news station. It created a larger news staff and melded the news gathering operation with KOMO-TV.

KOMO radio's brand is Mariners' baseball. Without them, what is it?

Q: Where was live & local seattle talk radio on caucus weekend? A: home watching the teevee

We're still stinging from the near-elimination of live & local weekend radio on KIRO... and we weren't the only ones.

We got a note Saturday night from a name-recognizable manager in Seattle radio who says to describe him as "a former insider who is really perplexed by some of [KIRO's] recent moves."

"I was riding home with my wife this evening... we turned on the radio to get some evening reaction on the caucuses (the Obama win and the still-being-tallied numbers on the GOP side).

"I checked out KIRO and they were running Wednesday night's TBTL."

It was a perfect night for Goldstein to do what he does best...and Bonneville is basically telling listeners to go fuck themselves with 3-day old crap.

We couldn't have said it better.

Not than any of the other talk stations are any better: KVI with their infomercials and old Sean Hannity's; KTTH with Dr. Mixon's genteel quackery, and Kim Komando swooping in off the bird.

We have no doubt that Goldy, Frank Shiers, Carl Jeffers, and Bryan Styble were fired for "economic reasons," as Bonneville has claimed, but we still think it's false economy, and short-term thinking.

Sadly, the historic KIRO brand is being trashed in the process.

Friday oddems: make-out tests for kidz; pubescent kissy-face drunk-a-logs; laura ingraham topless; alan colmes says yes; dinesh d'souza's favorite pie; more KIRO bathroom atrocities; the gravy train is over, cowboy...

  ~~ "If I believe the country will suffer with either Hillary, Obama or McCain, I would just as soon the Democrats take the hit," comedian Rush Limbaugh told Washington Post columnist Howard Kurtz. Would a McCain presidency be a setback for Big Pants? "My success is not defined by who wins elections," he intoned. "Elected officials come and go. I am here for as long as I wish to stay."

~ Alan Colmes hearts BlatherWatch, and now we heart Alan Colmes. Hannity's eager piñata dropped us a line this week: "I really enjoy your site," he wrote. And linked us to his blog Liberalland, which we now really enjoy. Now that we're close, we wish his radio show were in our market, so we could suck up to him even more... maybe get a meat-up with Sean Hannity.

~ We know that Too Beautiful To Live (KIRO m-f, 7-10p) isn't for us. And we're used to being the oldest one in the room. And we're usually impressed with the Next Gens we know. But the long, long segment on TBTL Thursday with the silly little coeds with their Make-out Test, and ditzy, kissy-face drunk-a-logs were turnoffable for any listener with a watt in their head. Damnit, we dial-up the show to hear about Luke's skin problems, and black-out drunks -- not the skin problems and black-out drunks of pseudonymous sorority girls. TBTL is some booze-obsessed radio!

~~ Why, God, oh, why?.. when you Google, what to eat so you do not get hemorroidal? you get directly to BlatherWatch???

Another roadside oddems: hemorrhoid watch 2008; internecine KIRO; women masturbating horses; allan prell on the threes; bRyAn StYbLe is not racist, never has been racist; more billified hip-hopcracy; jen andrews exposed; one charming son of a bitch.

~ Like calling the aid car for a hemorrhoid? (or maybe vice-versa, in this case) did anyone besides us find KIRO's Monday night calling in the late Frank Shiers and going into full-on Storm Watch 2008 mode a little silly? While it was really nice to hear our close friend, Frank fill in for the syndicated Phil Hendrie who replaced him, (Frank's weather-talking mastery has earned him the nickname,"Shiver,") having all talk off the table except weather sent us to scurrying for Mike Malloy (KPTK m-f,7-10p). Besides, the weather wasn't all that daunting. Apparently, it was snowing on the Issaquah plateau, the mountain passes,north of the Snoho line, and in the wilds of Queen Anne Hill. The commute promised to be daunting, but WTF? Couldn't that have been well-handled on KIRO's many news breaks? Maybe it was to assuage KIRO's guilt for bringing in their first syndication in the weekdayparts and to assure us that they're still here to serve us live & locally. If the latter is true, it was gross overcompensation.

~ The new KIRO website will be all about "community" and shit; and will be up soon, according to everyone. They're lucky to have David Goldstein (Sat., Sun., 7-10p) already on their payroll. Goldy must have been a great resource since his claim to fame is that he's a NW blogger with national renown whose platform, Horsesass.org is one of the biggest online communities in the region. Nobody will talk to us yet, but with that kind of live and local experience on tap, maybe the site will go from the B- we gave it to an A. (Even KIRO's B- beat all the other talk stations' sites by a mile).

A show about nothing is too beautiful to die...

As Luke Burbank predicted, Blatherwatch readers are downright bamboozled and dismayed at Too Beautiful to Live, KIRO's brave new, weeknightly show with Burbank, and Jen Andrews (m-f, 7-10p).

In an insightful feetch in today's Seattle Times, Florangela Davila catches the energy and discipline with which Burbank seeks out absurdity; his quirk-seeking wit; his reverence for the banal; and his near worship of the very utter idea of himself.

New Hampster oddems: the baby buddha; hemorroidal rage; winnebagel sage; the rancid sacklunch; judy canova lives; phil hendry dies; goldwater/miller in '08

~ A Romney man. (hat tip to Jesus' General)

~ An invitation to a stalker... It was just strange, said a reader: KIRO fill-in talk host cRaZy! BrYaN sTyBLe! asked listeners to invite him to their New Year's parties if they wanted to add a "radioactive guy" to their celebration. Wouldn't he be a fun addition to any festivity? Sadly, for the pathetic peripatetic, no one thought so. So Bryan on that night of nights emulated the Baby Buddha: "I cry, I sit alone, I sleep."

~ Hemorrhoidal rage: Glenn Beck took some time off from his daily radio and TV talk shows, (KTTH m-f, 6-9a) released a confessional video with an unshaven and bedridden Beck telling a vague but horrible tale about a near fatal hospital stay, a hemorrhoid operation that went "horribly awry;" blood coming out of places blood shouldn’t come out of; and drug effects to the former addict that produced suicidal thoughts. Many were surprised that the snarly little brabbler actually can bleed but the experience as shown on the video seems real. We're hoping all of it will change his heart and he'll become a compassionate liberal and give up the mean schtick that's made him so popular in places like dogfights and Minutemen rallies.