BlatherWatch

Hollerday Oddems: the young turks are gone, ron & don are forever, god has died; men in bras; orgasms in the news; stephanie miller; bob brinker, and michael the savage

~ Cenk Uygur said The Young Turks (KPTK m-f, 3-6a) will take amicable exit from Air America Radio January 15. (No they didn't get fired for drinking a beer on air or bad mouthing Nancy Pelosi). Not sure what's up, but Cenk is upbeat on a podcast he made Monday- there are rumors of satellite, or full-time on YouTube, or some other kind of InterWeb doin's. Baroosk at Talking Radio writes: "The Young Turks never got much traction, despite the fact that there is not much competition in the early morning time period on liberal talk radio stations. Only 16 of the 50 plus stations that carry four or more AAR hosts picked up the Turks."

~ For liberal men to ponder: If you knew that Michelle Malkin's angry face was exactly the same as her orgasm face, would you think any differently about her?

Is there life after seattle talk radio?

Where do you go after you're fired from talk radio job in Seattle? 

The answer, apparently, is Port Orchard if you want to stay anywhere near the Seattle market.

Those regularly scheduled Seattle newstalk spots are coveted ... seems you gotta leave town or get a gig selling cars.

It's the dilemma faced by the recently fired Bryan Suits, and Dan Sytman but also faced by such as Allan Prell, Mike Webb, Mike Siegel, New York Vinnie, Erin Hart, Lou Pate, Fred Ebert, Peter Weissbach, Brian Maloney, and Bryan Styble.

Local boy makes worst

First the Republican presidential front runners couldn't find the time to go to a PBS debate at a all-black college; then Billo Reilly was pleasantly surprised that black people didn't scream "Motherfucker!" while ordering ice tea in one of "their" restaurants; and now Michael Medved (KTTH m-f, 12-3p) is defending slavery!

Keith Olbermann bestowed the honor, Monday, of "Worst Person In The World" on the wily Mercer Island neocon and Judeo-Christian values-hustler.

Michael, Michael, Michael has written a Townhall.com column identifying some "Inconvenient Truths" about slavery, such as #6: THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE THAT TODAY'S AFRICAN-AMERICANS WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF THEIR ANCESTORS HAD REMAINED BEHIND IN AFRICA.

Tuesday oddems: an anal idiopathic seizure; yearlyKos, tiny silicone penii; dorm onions; the ex-wife hour; the studly twelve-inch flyboy; secular progressive home supplies; lemming into the chicago river

~ Seattle readers: sorry for all the national stuff: this is the dead zone for dish in local radio. We're working on some big, big, stories, and expect big things (especially at KIRO) to start popping in September. As always, when it's slow, we've been doing anagrams for your pleasure. Can't decide which we like best for Dori Monson- (KIRO m-f, 1-4p):  'Dorm Onions,'  'Snood Minor, or 'Id Morons No!' Which one do you prefer?

~ The ex-wife hour: Goldy (KIRO Saturdays, Sundays, 7-10p) won't be going to YK- he'll be filling in for Frank Shiers (m-f, 9p-12a) this week. Who's his guest Weds. at 9p? That would be his very own ex-wife Maureen "Mo" Judge who's running for Mercer Island City Council. Should be some great radio. Us blabbing to the BlatherWorld about her erstwhile relationship with the notorious blogger/talk host won't hurt her- She's already been endorsed by Ron Sims, Darcy Burner, Sierra Club, and the entire 41st legislative delegation of both R's and D's. She doesn't need you, Goldy... never did.

~ Remember Bryan Styble? He's the peculiar 3-hours-a-week (Sunday, 10p-1a) KIRO talk host who thinks so much of himself. We share his desire that he be on the air more, although for probably a different reason- he's such good copy for BlatherWatch. Bryan's got a new blog, with a new picture which features his new face growings. The blog's gotten 4 comments so far- but unfortunately, Bryan's deleted 3 of them. Should you drop by Bryan's site, drop him a line, and see how long it takes for him to delete your ass. Word to the wise: don't say 'crap!'

~ Tiny silicone GOPenis? Digby quotes The Wimp Factor, the book "examines the strange phenomenon of anxious Republican masculinity and the way it's informing our politics by Stephen J. Doucat: By far the most compelling confirmation of the phallic meaning of the president's aircraft-carrier cakewalk was found on the hot-selling ‘George W. Bush Top Gun action figure’… The studly twelve-inch flyboy not only comes with a helmet and visor, goggles and oxygen mask, but underneath his flight suit is a full ‘basket’ --- a genuine fake penis, apparently constructed with lifelike silicone.

Friday the 13th oddems: knives to our foreskins; the live womb concert; rosie pistola & lesbian street gangs; the styble papers; t-rex at the t-dome with frank; mullets that kill; floyd brown will shoot your dog

~~Talk radio spent days bitching about Live Earth, Al Gore's 24-hour, 7-continent, concert series to raise public awareness about global warming over the weekend. Everybody attacked- U-2 wasn't there; Gore did not announce his presidential candidacy; it didn't reach TV billions as hyped, (only 10's of millions) and Madonna said, "motherfucker," on the air. But if the awareness to the issue was raised 6 inches, that's good enough for us. Two years ago, the issue was little more than a title of an Al Gore speech. That the good guys can do such a massive musical outreach is a great strength. Can you imagine a conservative cause or effort even coming close to rallying people on this scale? S'pose they could have Live Womb, a global anti choice concert with  MC Hammer, and the Mormon Naberclacle Choir- we'd watch that... at least until Top Chef came on.

~ That's gotta be a pistol in your pocket! Violent gangs of lesbians? what a great idea! Certainly an upgrade on the usual, tawdry groupings of street thugs who typically lack self-awareness and gym memberships. Billo Reilly shot off his big mouth about this culture war atrocity which had a nationwide underground network of urban street dikes recruiting our little girls for violent sapphic street crime. We were getting all het up about this on several levels, but turns out- o darn- it was only the wet dream of a Christianist homophobe and "Fox News Analyst" and... apocryphal. Orcinus' Dave Niewert has the video, and the rest of the story.

Wednesday oddems: commentary-okie; prurient interesting; seattle norwegian bon vivant; a geoduck named dick; phil the junkie; the santa anas blow from neal boortz's ass

~ Why Mexican are Democrats. Syndicated talk host Neal Boortz said recently:  "... build a double fence along the Mexican border, and stop the damn invasion. I don't care if Mexicans pile up against that fence like tumbleweeds in the Santa Ana winds in Southern California. Let 'em. You know, then just run a couple of taco trucks up and down the line, and somebody's gonna be a millionaire out of that." 

~ Commentary-okie? Being the elite critics that we are, this is our worst nightmare. It's a talk radio American Idol mixed in with political palaver, cheek, and a heavy dose of smarmy attaboy condescension from hosts, John Carlson and Ken Schram. It's a far-too-regular feature pushed by those Commentators (KVI, m-f, 9a-12p) who must be increasingly desperate for listeners. For singing on the air, callers can win prizes like dinner for two at the Bellevue Taphouse Grill, which would be punishment to most, but not even the threat of that franchised, shopping mall mediocrity discourages them. KVI is salaciously trying to appeal to far more prurient interests than mere sex. They're targeting those pathetic exhibitionists out there who think they can sing, but never get the chance to take it anywhere but the shower. It squawks out of the low-fi speakers like a hog-caller at a meat-shoot and thousands of radio fingers around the Puget Sound region simultaneously go flying for the KIRO button.

Seattle misses the imus-ing of radio

As if they needed something else to drag it down, the radio industry is quaking once again over the public outrage, and the prospect of the disastrous consequences of more Imus Eruptions.

Two new tremors have shaken and stirred the radio world-at-small: a couple of FREE FM/New York's JV & Elvis and their producer were canned last week after prank-calling a Chinese restaurant on-air and ordering "flied lice," and other such hilarities.

This on the heels of splatitudes wracked by those rascals, Opie & Anthony on XM Radio, who interviewed a homeless guy on the street who fantasized outloud about having rough sex with Condoleeza Rice, Laura Bush, and Queen Elizabeth- all to the glee of the boyz. They're the jocks who were fired from CBS radio in 2002 for getting two listeners to have on-air sex in New York’s St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

"We don't know what to expect," an FM morning radio person told Blatherwatch. "We've toned it down for sure- problem is, nobody knows where the boundaries are."

Oddems de martes: el nervo, los neiwertos, las nalgas, las vegas, lost wages, loaf meatos, la limbaugh, las sassination de lincoln y inglesa

 ~ O god the nerve... Rush Limbaugh went on and on about Nancy Pelosi as if she was a traitor for wearing a headscarf in Syria, even though just about any woman had better if they know what's good for them in those countries. Nancy is our hero now, since Laura Bush has proven to be such a dispappointing gender-neutral wimp who can't control her husband...

~ Recipe: really good mashed potatoes : 1 lb. butter/1 lb. potatoes.

~ $100 million a year. That's how much Paul Harvey makes and what Fred Thompson may forfeit if he foolishly runs for the presidency in 2008. Wish THAT was the rest of the story...   

Tuesday oddems: walt crowley, j.p. patches, third ballsack hernia, ron reagan, phil the junkie, the styblehead, silver threads among the gold, and pass the ammunition!

~ News of HistoryLink's Walt Crowley still recouping in the hospital from his larynectomy last week from friend Pam: "Walt had a cup of coffee from the Tully’s downstairs, declining the one that came with his hospital lunch. He also now proudly sports a Patches Pal button, one of a bunch of gifts from JP Patches himself, who made a surprise visit yesterday. Marie & Walt continue to ask that you wait to visit until he gets home and more recovered, but for JP Patches an exception plainly had to be made."

Tuesday oddems: being rush limbaugh; artificial horse vaginas; whoops- cRaZy! BrYaN sTyBLe! did it again; where's darcy burner? bridled reindeer: nude dori; good dentures; the barber vs. the haircut

~ Being Rush Limbaugh means his giving himself permission to indulge all manner of his copious appetites. He's fat as a burrito; takes sex vacations in 3rd world countries; was busted for eating pain pills like Altoids; exudes flatus at will in confined spaces with deference to no one; and says just about anything he wants on his radio show. that may sound pretty liberal and libertine- but he's the conservative of record. He's like one of those be-monocled 19th century tycoons with a wide waistcoat, gold-headed walking stick; and propensity for sitting down in his private rail car to consume a whole mutton leg while paying a wench to dandle his tiny privates under the table. We were reminded of Big Pants' capacity for verbal hedonism recently with his studious, long-winded, in-depth, on-air discussion about masturbating a horse, and collecting "the essence" of thoroughbreds using artificial horse vaginas; (different from a Hog Bung Dropper, and don't you forget it). The intensity of Rush's curiosity was admirable, and we found that explicit veterinarian sex talk was some of the most compelling radio we've ever heard out of Rush.