Today, Newt Gingrich took 26 minutes to tell the world he is suspending his campaign for President of the United States.
He thanked his speech writers, Herman Cain, Todd Palin and his thousands of supporters, including Sheldon Adelman...in that order. Calista received his thanks after he thanked her mother for watching all the debates and campain ads on television.
He went on to assure the American public he was not giving up his citizenship, something he has had since 1958. (No, we are not making this up.) Then he announced that al Qaeda is in Yemen and hoped that the White House would get the memo about that soon.
As Newt once again launched into his "Moon initiative" talk, Marvin the Martian was heard to heave a sigh of relief that Mars, as of yet, is not in those plans. After several minutes of sharing his thanks and outlining all those policies he will never get to implement, Newt finally announced he was throwing in the towel.
Rumors are swirling on and off The Hill that Romney will assume Newt's substantial campaign debt, in return for a hearty endorsement for his own campaign. While Gingrish didn't come right out in today's speech and endorse Romney, he hinted around enough that he will do it, that Shepard Smith at Fox News stopped in the middle of his reporting to share a few personal thoughts on this development.
School janitors everywhere are weeping tonight.
I watched this via Twitter today..it was pretty funny...
Amazing that Newt has to drop out, given the support from Todd Palin and Michael Reagan. #notreally
— @KailiJoy via web
Gingrich says he will not suspend his citizenship. Because then Romney would make him self-deport.
— @elisefoley via TweetDeck
WARNING: Newt will not stop talking until a moon colony is established
— @thinkprogress via TweetDeck
yes, Mr. Speaker, the White House had no idea of the al Qaeda threat in Yemen until now. Well done
— @samyoungman via web
MSNBC has nothing better to air. RT @thinkprogress: CNN says uncle. Cuts away from Newt.
— @markos via TweetDeck
Posted by: sparky | May 02, 2012 at 08:52 PM
Gingrich says he will not suspend his citizenship. Because then Romney would make him self-deport.
— @elisefoley via TweetDeck
LMAO !
Posted by: KS | May 02, 2012 at 10:17 PM
cit·i·zen·ship
[sit-uh-zuhn-ship, -suhn-]
noun
1.
the state of being vested with the rights, privileges, and duties of a citizen.
2.
the character of an individual viewed as a member of society; behavior in terms of the duties, obligations, and functions of a citizen.
Yes, Newt was talking about his commitment to public service. Just another mischaracterization of the facts, Bla'M.
Posted by: Whatever | May 03, 2012 at 12:26 PM
Newt actually said he was going back to his citizenship.
Therein lies the opening for the media to take a jab at him which they gratuitously did. By comparison, that is trivial compared other so-called creativity.
However, if Obama or Biden had said that, nothing would be made of it. Its so predictable that its nauseating.
Posted by: KS | May 03, 2012 at 07:22 PM
If you had listened to his speech, you would understand the humor in the situation, based on his delivery and his tone of voice. His implication was rushed and vague and it came across as funny.
Posted by: Rachelle | May 03, 2012 at 09:38 PM
Humor is lost on the humorless.
Posted by: Finis Hominis | May 03, 2012 at 10:11 PM
hey wait a minute, if he is gonna claim citizenship i wan to see his papers.
i'm just saying....
Posted by: Puget Sound Blathers | May 04, 2012 at 07:32 AM
after all, what kind of name is 'Newt' anyway...
sounds a little too eastern european to me.
Posted by: Puget Sound Blathers | May 04, 2012 at 07:34 AM
Always reminded me of eye of Newt as in an Addams family recipe.
After Gingrinch's contributions to the campaign, no doubt Romney would like to see him to self-deport.
Posted by: KS | May 04, 2012 at 10:08 PM