Great blatherings de 2011: BlatherWatch generously offers to do the KUOW weather... and noodles!

Cliff Mass, the windy KUOW weatherman (and tenured UW professor) insisted on insinuating his  opinions on Seattle Public schools and science education in his weekly, live, weather spot on KUOW's Weekday with Steve Scher (m-f,9a-12p). After a petty and graceless dust-up with everyone involved acting badly, Mass got the boot. He now does

               (Photo by Steven Dewall, Seattle Weekly)

weather on KPLU where they have him on tape so they can leave his non-weather blitherings on the cutting-room floor if necessary.

BlatherWatch made the following application for his unpaid time slot on Fridays. KUOW never responded, the bastards.

Weather? we'll do it! And we're pretty sure KUOW won't mind if we opine a little over the declining state of noodles in Seattle.

We'd love to leap into the breach left by Cliff Mass's self-inflicted demise at KUOW.

Weatherwise, no problema, man: We can google that up in an instant... or we could be like George Carlin's Hippy Dippy Weatherman: "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning."

But a mission? We got one, and we know the earnest public radio listeners of the KUOW family need our thoughtful critiques of the increasingly dire local noodle situation: the disturbing regional slide from semolina to cheap Canadian pastas (or even rice noodles!) in the best of alleged Italian restaurants; the race to the bottom that is the suburban "stuffed spaghetti" and "noodle sandwich" movements; Campbell Soup's alarming foray into the phở industry. The dangerous "linguini bathtub" parties in vogue in the local swingers scene, the secret chicken "broth-els" of Chinatown... and much, much more. 

We're pretty much old white guys around here, which bodes well for a spot on KUOW, but we'd insist, of course, on getting double the $ that Cliff was getting. We're pretty sure that would fly at KUOW... (It's the kind of wage contract the station was built on).

(photo: a real weather man: George Carlin)

Damage control at KUOW after the Mass flap should be the order of the day at the moment: Hiring one of your most faithful critics in Mass's place would be a strong statement to your listeners.

PS: we play the ukelele.

Comments

[cliff sucks]

The cliffster is saying the NWS downplayed yesterday's storm, while he issued no updates either. How original from a UW establishment creep.

[Horace Bedwetter]

This is really dumb! You a strange attraction for Cliff Mass.

[KS]

Storm ? I was in Portland yesterday and evidently it was a localized storm.

Cliff Mass is not in the forecasting biz. Good chance he'll have an analysis of that event on his blog.

[KUOWlistener]

As a longtime listener of KUOW and an admitted cliff mass fan, I can say that you are simply not telling the truth. Cliff did not talk about math or seattle schools during his weather gig. He was fired when he talked about UW admissions policy when they moved him to the week in review segment. One time and he was fired. Doesn't say much for KUOW and doesn't say much about this blog giving false information.

[JohnS]

Michael Why don't you do a story on KUOW's surplus of 2 million dollars this last year? They have become more aggressive looking for money with endless pledge breaks. Yet they are putting huge amounts of money into the bank.

[jen]

KUOW is a gerontocracy too timid to spend any of the money they're hoarding, and too old to have had an new or innovative programming idea in 10 years.