So yesterday we called Dori Monson a child molester in a satirical post.
(photo: Dori Monson, creep factor: 11)
We stick by our post and the reasons we posted it.
We'd just endured two days of Dori Monson (KIRO m-f, 12-3p) insouciantly calling a 51-year-old man who'd married a 16-year-old girl, a child molester and a "perv." He used that catch-all descriptor, "creepy" a lot. (despite his own well-established creep-factor).
Had this guy been arrested and charged for that vile crime?
Au contraire: he had legally and with the permission of her parents married the girl according to good Christian principles.. (you know: He did the right thing, made an honest woman of her, even married her in a church).
That's a perfect info-storm for the kind of scum-scraping, tabloid radio Dori Monson does each day.
He went on one of his deliberate, mocking poutrages against the man calling him a pervert, and a child molester over and over again. His toady, Li'l Jake cut deafening shrieks from the girl's music vids so Dori could mock her singing and make repeated, leering jokes about her "big boobs." He called her parents crazy and bad parents and said if a 51-year-old man married his daughter, he'd kill him and go to prison gladly.
Listeners were sent to his blog where all the YouTubes and the boob pics awaited those with the prurient interest to take the time to come up and lear. We're sure his traffic hit the moon.
This was on KIRO! Remember KIRO? Owned by the LDS Church and once the responsible and sane station???
This is why neither Dori Monson nor KIRO will neither sue us nor even contact us with a legal threat. They know that what we wrote was protected speech, and that it simply mirrored exactly what Dori Monson himself said about someone else who wasn't a child molester. We'd love to have that legal fight- it would expose Dori's lurid appeals to the lowest denominators to a much bigger audience.
Apologize? Sure: Our only regret is that our satire wasn't funnier. When we're pissed, our sense of humor, always brilliant, can be dulled. For that, we'll apologize to our readers who expect better. (The rest of you, we're sure, loved it as well you should).
Was the May-December marriage weird? Only by modern standards. Marriages with that kind of age difference is a modern invention. Our grandfather, came out West, got himself established, and at the age of 49, went back to the midwest to marry our 17-year-old grandmother and bring her out here. It was common back in the olden days before all this modern sex degradation we always hear about from the religious right was forced upon us by the liberals. ("How dare you, sir? My grandfather was NOT a child molester. In fact we're pretty sure he and my grandmother never had sex and never would.")
Is there something abnormal or perverted about a man of any age attracted to a younger woman who has developed secondary sex characteristics? Absolutely not. It may be illegal depending on the age of the girl and which state you/she lives in, but abnormal... it ain't.
The young bride in this story certainly had developed characteristics, and men are hardwired to be attracted to and distracted by such displays.
(Having said all that, we're reticent to make presumptions about the intentions of the couple... but what the hell. Another question to be asked: Who might be using whom, here? Is it possible the young woman might be pressing her advantage to marry a man whose life of Hollywood contacts could help her burgeoning career? Or... maybe the two are using each other to get their names in the tabs and on the Dori Monson Show... after all, the actor's career is faded and could use some fluffing up and his bride's is just beginning).
Speaking of perfect storms for sensationalism- the last couple of weeks were pretty blustery on Dori's show. Besides his gratuitous "child molester" accusations, There were his repeated penis intenuendos throughout the hours and weeks of his Anthony Weiner McScandal "coverage." It too was puerile, overdone, boring and replete with Weiner's pictures waiting on his blog that sounded more salacious on the radio than they were in reality. There was Dori's sickening reaction to the South Carolina eugenics horror. "It should still be legal," he said.
How does this guy exist on Seattle radio? You'd think liberal Seattle wouldn't support our own homegrown Bubba the Love Sponge or Opie & Anthony... Our guess is that in reality, we don't, and that Dori's days, one way or another, are numbered.
I agree with everything you say. Yes, fifteen-year-old girls give and take a year or two were pretty common spouses at one time. I don't listen to Dori so was not inured to the tastelessness of his tirades and thus found yours difficult. The content of your column still strikes me as tasteless but piggy-backing on two day's worth of such content and giving it back makes it a worthwhile endeavor. In the end, it gets back to hypocrisy: and the extreme amount of it on the right.
Posted by: Anti-Dori | June 24, 2011 at 01:38 PM
It would have been funnier if it had been about Brian Baloney..
Posted by: sparky | June 24, 2011 at 01:45 PM
Why back-track on your original post? Did you get a C & D?
Posted by: JimF | June 24, 2011 at 02:00 PM
Furious you were, but does that give you the right to call someone a child molester and quote people saying those things about a public person who is also a father and very involved with in his children's lives?
Posted by: JimF | June 24, 2011 at 02:02 PM
What would your reaction be if a conservative blogger posted a story that you molested April as a baby and had "quotes" to back it up? Not so funny, huh?
Posted by: JimF | June 24, 2011 at 02:03 PM
And I also feel you are trying to use the old 'aw, shucks, I didn't mean any harm' by constantly explaining why you wrote something that accused a public figure of being a child molester. A. child. molester. Is there anything worse than that? There's nothing funny or satirical about it. Nothing. You called Monson a child molester. One to molests the most defenseless people on earth. The ones that the name "God" is the same as "Mother" and "Father" and who give us their unconditional love and trust us to protect them from harm. And you called him a child molester. Child molesters are murdered in prison by other criminals. They are the lowest of the low. And you called someone -- Dori Monson--accused him, with no facts and allegedly 'made-up' quotes (or were they made up? I can't tell. I don't know these people) associated to the parents of children on his daughter's basketball team of being a molester of children.
Do you realize what you did?
Posted by: JimF | June 24, 2011 at 02:08 PM
Hey Jim, I bet you think the chicken really DID cross the road to get to the other side!
You must notta read the above article. Everything that Mr. Hood wrote is exactly what Monson said about other people! Why aren't you outraged about what Monson said, and says everyday on his show?
On second thought, maybe you're Dori????? LMAO
Posted by: Jovita has a sense of humor unlike you | June 24, 2011 at 02:27 PM
No, I'm not Dori. Yes, I listen to what he says. But he's paid to be an intertainer. And he knows where the legal line by being on the air. You just don't like him because he's conservative and successful, but to accuse someone of being a child molester....well,you fill in the blank.
Posted by: JimF | June 24, 2011 at 02:42 PM
Mr. Hood didn't do anything illegal. Public figures are legal targets for satire. You just don't like Mr. Hood because he is liberal and you don't agree with his views. Your attempts at making a mountain out of the smallest of molehills is entertaining.
Posted by: Jovita has a sense of humor unlike you | June 24, 2011 at 02:57 PM
Breaking on NW Onion News.
"In an exclusive interview with NWON anchor Bolf Witzler, Seattle Radio Faux News Wannabe, Dory Monsen, claimed that his twitter account has been hacked and that his pictures of basketballs had likely been altered. Monsen gave the interview to allay recent charges that he is creepy.
"Monsen refused to confirm or deny that he takes pictures of basketballs in suggestive positions and tweets the photos to members of girl's basketball teams in North America.
"Known for his hypocritical "bone with a dog" tenacity and "slight of height" stature, Monsen broke off the interview with Witzler when asked if Dory was a girl's name."
Posted by: Witzler | June 24, 2011 at 03:13 PM
@Jovita. Can you site in any of my posts that I "don't like Mr. Hood" because he is "liberal?" Like I posted before, the attempt at satire is razor thin and it's tainted with a very nasty accusation that I have illustrated earlier. But I'm glad you're entertained!
Posted by: JimF | June 24, 2011 at 03:43 PM
I'm just curious, does Dori make Weiner jokes in front of his girl's basketball team? Does this 45 year old man tell his 15 year old female basketball players that old men who wilfully choose to closely associate with other men's teenaged daughters are "creepy child molesters"? Assuming he as the good sense not to express these beliefs directly infront of them, why does he then do it on public airwaves?
The FCC prohibits broadcasters from using a number of swear words, but apparently they have no legal mechanism for preventing some things that are far more sinister and damaging: vilifying innocent people and trashing people who don't have microphones of their own.
I'm deeply disturbed by Dori and he must be stopped. It's hard to predict when Bonneville will put principles before dollars - and when they won't.
Posted by: Andrew | June 24, 2011 at 03:53 PM
Pissant Productions Buys Option for Monsen Movie
Ballard Guyard, renowned French film director, is said to be working out a deal for the life story of Seattle's own petulant radio host, Dory Monsen.
"I have observed Monsieur Monsen's career, especially noting its most recent "joie de vie" turn with "les jeunes filles" basketball players. I believe there is a story that could appeal.
"We French have had BB, Lolita, Deneuve and soon peut-être, La Dory. Telling madmoiselle, err, monsieur Dory's story should reveal, comment dites-vous, "his hads".
Guyard, who speaks little English, said a working title right now for the film is "Pisser Dans Le Vent: The Tail of Dory".
Said Guyard in closing, "Mais oui, n'est pas Dori un prénom de fille?"
Posted by: Guyard's Agent | June 24, 2011 at 04:22 PM
Hey JimF you appear to be a proud member of the tea party. I'm happy for you! I might suggest spell check and a dictionary for your future posts. They are your friends!
Posted by: Justindignation | June 24, 2011 at 04:55 PM
Dori makes unsubstantiated accusations all the time. He'll mumble under his weasel breath "probably" or some other qualifier to protect his ass but the intentional damage is done.
Posted by: tomW | June 24, 2011 at 10:48 PM
Any guy that coaches a teen girl sports team is a fuckin creep.
I don't think your original post went far enough.
Posted by: Herbalizer | June 25, 2011 at 07:03 AM
Just how much interaction would this "talk radio blog" get if it could go ONE WEEK without ANY mention of Dori Monson?
Hear that? It's the sound of crickets.
Hood should thank his lucky stars that Monson is still on the air.
Posted by: John | June 25, 2011 at 07:23 AM
I think that Conservative radio works in Seattle because we are a Liberal city. People that don't share our agenda have a place that they can turn to.
Posted by: Mike Barer | June 25, 2011 at 07:37 AM
That's right, John. Michael's thanking lucky stars for all the money he's making off Monson.
But seriously, he has to talk about Monson- there's nothing left of local talk radio. I remember when this blog started there were 3 talk stations with local shows, and some real personalities. After all this corporate mishandling and consolidation, there's only KIRO. and it's talk lite. Dori is the only one left who expresses a strong opinion and he's doing crime stories from faraway places and celebrity misbehavior. The real crickets are from Seattle radio.
Posted by: Phil Dirt | June 25, 2011 at 07:38 AM
im not making any accusations aganst Monson, on a capricious basis, simply because he coackes a girls team, as in some of these posts. Did you ever think he has gravitated to coaching girls sports because the boys would laugh him off the court and disrespecr him? Probably all of the 16 and 17 year old young men on any decent high school would be taller and stronger, and dare i say more "manly" than Dori.
Posted by: Tommy008 | June 25, 2011 at 08:10 AM
sorry- sgould have re4ad "on any decent high school basketball team"
Posted by: Tommy008 | June 25, 2011 at 08:12 AM
wouldn't mind or care if my granddaughter listed to Dori on the radio. Wouldn't want him to coach her on basketball or anything.
Posted by: Bill Deposit | June 25, 2011 at 08:59 AM
He's got daughters. He coaches girls. He encouraged his daughter to lie in school. I like that he's involved in their lives and works to keep them active in sports. I don't like that he encourages lying. I'm not into bashing him for things I don't know about. He's a jerk - a total jerk - on the radio. I would wish no young person would listen to him and that adults do tells me a lot about them and their values.
Posted by: joanie | June 25, 2011 at 09:41 AM
Joanie...I have values. And I value entertainment. That's all Dori is. Get over yourself.
Posted by: Bill Deposit | June 25, 2011 at 10:34 AM
Ohhhhhh.....so you can make douchebag "joke" comments about Dori being a child molester, but asking about your subscription as a member of NAMBLA gets the comment removed? Why so sensitive, Michael? Hit too close to home? you are pa-the-tic. This makes so much more sense, now. you don't hate Dori, you've got a raging boner for him, hence your obsession with the guy.
Posted by: dgog | June 25, 2011 at 05:40 PM
That shoe does seem to fit, doesn't it ? DDS (Dori derangement syndrome) is raging.
Time to sober up here and move on to posts that make a difference in everyday life - that may be more tedious, but less laziness is always welcomed.
Posted by: South King County | June 26, 2011 at 10:18 AM
Mr. Deposit, your values stink.
Posted by: joanie | June 26, 2011 at 11:11 AM
And SKC, practice what you preach. So far, I don't disagree with much of what you've said. So I don't get the dirt directed at me. But, hey, if it feels good, do it.
Posted by: joanie | June 26, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Oh Joanie. If you can judge my values by a single sentence, I'd have to question yours. Value them, not.
Posted by: Bill Deposit | June 26, 2011 at 11:18 AM
I have had a radio relationship with Dori for about 10 years (seems like much, much longer) and I have listened to him develop from a perky young thing into being the largest boob in the room. This relationship has deteriorated to the point where I now don a pink ribbon in his honor whenever I occasionally listen to his, sigh, 'show'. Actually I consider his 'show' more of a wardrobe malfunction than anything else as it exposes how much he has metastasized as a radio personality as it grew from simply being a big 'D' into the big double 'D'.
Thankfully I ended all this by leaving town via my broadband internet connection, streaming radio and podcasts. What started out as furtive flings in the middle of the night has now developed into a number long term relationships. I guess you could say I am now a bit of a radio whore that is having far too much fun once again to care. In fact this whole situation has gone so far that I love having my ears felt up daily in my car via my smart phone. My car was the last place I used to sneak out to listen to the big triple 'D'. Next up will be to toss out that stripper pole and sequined bra he left in the trunk the last and final time he joined me for a ride.
Posted by: Katherine | June 27, 2011 at 10:58 AM
I love your post! Podcasts and streaming - me,too.
Yep, Bill. I read people well. :)
Posted by: joanie | June 27, 2011 at 12:53 PM
Curley read his hate emails on the eir on friday..... i didn't hear that part, so looked up the podcast, hoping he read the email i sent him where i called him a jackass. looks liek the email reading segment has been edited out of the podcast......... hey Curley, you're a jackass...
Posted by: Tommy008 | June 27, 2011 at 02:02 PM
Listen here MISTER Blather...I am incensed and upset and I INSIST on reporting you to your....uhhh...management...
Ooops...nevermind.
LOLOL
Posted by: Rujax! | June 27, 2011 at 03:44 PM
Monsignors Mass for Monsen
Open Letter From Monsignor P.E. de Fille and Colleagues
Leave Dory alone!!!!
My colleagues and I know from our own experience coaching youth sports teams, that being in close proximity to young, nubile, lucious, sweaty, athletic girls and boys does not automatically result in untoward behavior.
We like to think that sometimes two bright, orange basketballs are just two orange basketballs. Like a cigar sometimes can just be a cigar.
As we say at the rectory, got any witnesses?
BTW, we are advertising for new members to the girls' high school tramp-o-lean team coached by Monsignor Grabbaum.
Posted by: P.E. | June 27, 2011 at 04:57 PM
Monson is a professional Christian, Librarian, hypocrite hate-talker who deserves everything he gets. I wonder what other skeletons are in his closet?
Posted by: medved's longtime companion | June 30, 2011 at 04:53 PM
I have enjoyed reading your blog in the past. I have to say goodbye (and I realize you or your fans don't care but I had to say something) I love Seattle radio history and really liked checking in w/ your posts. Your Dori post truly crossed the line and wasn't funny. The post was creepy. Much of the comments were creepy, too. I just don't get the urge to use something like that for 'comedy'.
Posted by: Corene | July 11, 2011 at 12:49 PM
I guess you could say I am now a bit of a radio whore that is having far too much fun once again to care.
Posted by: the cross pictures jesus | September 29, 2012 at 02:39 AM