After Big Pants dumps you, what?
That's the question longtime news anchor CNN Daryn Kagan, has been asking since corpulent radio comedian, Rush Limbaugh dumped her in February. Then CNN, without telling her why, didn't renew her contract after 12 years.
When the going gets tough, they say, the tough gets maudlin.
Kagan, 43, is worrying friends after launching a Web site, DarynKagan.com which is totally dedicated to so-called "happy news."
It's as irony-free as Barney & Friends.
Kagan's site portends to appeal to the "half-full crowd," a cultish new phenomenon that's got sociologists worried.
With videos of heart-warming stories, her site features people or animals who overcome obstacles, physical impairments, or poor grooming to make a difference in the world. Such as the three-legged boxer mix who bravely manages to eat, sleep and wag his tail; a blind, three-fingered filmmaker who makes documentaries in 3-D; a three-breasted woman who sends her breast milk to India; a three-cornered fish who teaches "school" in Appalachia; a one-legged man who competes in national butt-kicking Special Olympics, and an untiring two-legged Palm Beach physician who limits his practice to diseases of the rich.
Kagan reportedly owns two three-legged cats,Tri-pod and I-lean.
"Omigod," say a former CNN co-worker, who asks not to be named, "she's a journalist, she's forsaken cynicism, and she went to Stanford!"
Dr. Edgar "Choch" Manaña, of the University of Alabama has been working with sufferers like Kagan for many years. The disorder is called, "dysfunctional positivism" or "hallmarkian confusion," and is marked by overdone pathos, bathetic overload, fascination or obsession with balloons, and the tendency to wear primary colors, especially yellow.
"They can develop propensities for banjo music and cotton candy; lose their critical abilities, and obsess over pictures of puppies," says Manaña. "Greetings cards often mean more to them than friends and family."
Victims of the disorder have ended up in criminal courts- usually from inappropriate public enthusiasm. "People don't have much patience with the pathologically trite," says Manaña. "Suicides have occurred when inflated expectations, collide with quotidian realities."
Kagan, 43, tried an unsuccessful intervention on Rush for his tragic, isolating flatulence, and was devastated when her good intentions got her thrown out of his life. The tabloids questioned her loyalty. But, she told BlatherWatch, "The answer, my friend, was blowing in the wind."
It was the noxious gastric exudations from her big boyfriend. "My head was turned, alright," she says, but not because of another guy!"
This from BlatherWatch a year ago:
Kagan explains her turn to the consolation of mawkishness “I was at a point," Kagan told AccessAtlanta, "where I was like, ‘OK, I need to decide, does the world stink or is the world a good place?’The tabloids are full of an incident in a Manhattan elevator where a Premiere vice president had to be taken to the ER after Limbaugh broke wind on a 44-floor descent. The victim, who suffers from asthma, reportedly had to be given CPR and is considering a lawsuit. Big Pants' farting has been the talk of New York media, and the five or more incidents in the last year, including one in the presence of Lynn Cheney and another in a Black Hawk helicopter with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, are seen as the basis of rumors of his retirement this year. Because of his gaseous exudations and his on-going drug possession problems in Florida, Limbaugh was disinvited again this year to the State of the Union festivities.
One of your finest, Bla'M!
Posted by: Fremont | October 03, 2010 at 05:15 PM
Yes, watch "The Oxycotin Express" on Current TV and find out why Rush lives in Florida.
Posted by: Coiler | October 03, 2010 at 06:47 PM
coils
just a few more weeks until the november election.
what's it like having your world view be totally repudiated by the american public?
LMAO.
not to worry, robert gibbs is the likely new head of the DNC.
what could go wrong.oh wait, plenty.
ha hahahhahaha
deep breath
ha hahahahahahaha
Posted by: Puget Sound | October 03, 2010 at 07:00 PM
Does your woman know you spend more time in here, looking at what others post?
Posted by: Coiler | October 03, 2010 at 07:22 PM
This post is full of urban legends. Firstly, the photo is a hoax - its not Limbaugh, but I don't mind playing along...
I think that the liberal progressives aka usual suspects know that this administration went too far with their big government agenda. They can't help themselves - like a bunch of crack addicts :(
I also see that the demonstration by the neo-Marxists, union thugs and leftwingnut demonstrators did not draw nearly as many as the non-political gathering by Glenn Beck.
Another item of note is that those who demonstrated in DC this weekend advocated socialism from their signs that somehow were not shown by the mainstream numbnuts media - (ya think they are trying to hide something from the public ? ) They were also litterbugs and left their garbage all over this area. Contrast that with the Beck gathering, where the participants removed essentially all of their litter. I report, you decide....bwahahahaha
Posted by: KS | October 03, 2010 at 07:33 PM
From Powerline - Even though Powerline is a conservative blog, I'd say this is an objective account.
Two comments on today's "One Nation Working Together" event in Washington:
1) Four hundred organizations, including all the major labor unions, the NAACP, the Sierra Club, Code Pink, the Green Party, the Communist Party, Planned Parenthood and hundreds more were not able to turn out as many people as Glenn Beck.
2) One of the stated purposes of the gathering was to protest against lack of civility in public discourse. The program was opened by Ed Schultz.
Posted by: KS | October 03, 2010 at 07:38 PM
From the One Nation Working Together rally last weekend - note the signs
These are the special interests that back up what was elected in 2008. An infusion of Extremism
Posted by: KS | October 03, 2010 at 08:16 PM
I watched the special on Current TV...Florida is the go-to place to get Oxycontin, Oxycodone, Percocet and Xanax. They have very lax prescription drug laws, and it is possible to go to many many pain clinics ( the newspapers in Broward County offer coupons ) and get hundreds of pills, with only the flimsiest of doctors' notes.
Posted by: sparky | October 03, 2010 at 08:48 PM
Bla'M, you forgot to update this post. Kagan is back in the world of daily journalism, editing the front-page "news"paper photos of puppies, kids with balloons, and inspirational folks overcoming hardship that appear each day in the Seattle Times.
Posted by: Pete | October 03, 2010 at 09:12 PM
Nothing gets by you, KS.
Posted by: sparky | October 03, 2010 at 09:21 PM
That picture is charming. It shows that there is hope for just about anybody to find love.
Now, those pictures of the rat bastard commies and socialists in Washington DC, and the awful mess that those fine left wing eco-freaks left behind are not quite so charming.
You people should be embarrassed.
Posted by: Chucks | October 03, 2010 at 09:38 PM
KGO has really gone down the tubes......they used to have fun weekend hosts......the "old fossils" like Racist Ray T. and Gene Burns sorely need to be replaced........three of their weekend shows are now occupied by boring or boring and arrogant bozos ( Nemko, Lazarus, Walters).... and their late evening guy is now John Rothman, since Bernie went to the Big House. Rothman is a corny old square who alternates between doing retirement home types of snoozefest shows and heavy, gutbucket "gloom and doom" political/foreign affairs topics. For the latter Rothman adopts his fearmongering, heavily ominous tone of voice and puts everyone into a state of extreme depression and fright. At least Lazarus is finally leaving so the Saturday night early evening slot is open.
Posted by: Tommy008 | October 03, 2010 at 10:10 PM
Hey, Pete, are you dissing the Pulitzer-winning Seattle Times?! Let's hear it from KissasS and Putz!
"You people should be embarrassed."
Chux, you have no idea how ashamed "we people" are! And the "Socialist" signs, KissasS! What better proof that Obama, socialism, and terrorism are commingled! Forgive me for ever questioning your brilliance!
Posted by: Fremont | October 04, 2010 at 11:08 AM
Ray Taliafero is a great American. Not too many callers can match his intellect especially when "Happy" calls in. I'm waiting for old fossils like Dr Bill to die off.
Posted by: Coiler | October 04, 2010 at 12:23 PM
Get over it, Fremont..
Posted by: KS | October 04, 2010 at 03:58 PM
That guy looks a little slim to be Limbaugh. What a pig.
Posted by: Jeannie Burbank | October 04, 2010 at 05:53 PM
Ray Taliafero is a raging bigot and an old fossil himself. Bet he will die off before Dr. Bill.
Posted by: KS | October 04, 2010 at 07:17 PM
Impossible. Ray enjoys life, old white devils like WartBurg hate themselves too much to live.
Posted by: Coiler | October 04, 2010 at 08:09 PM
Au contrere - Taliaferro is self-loathing and hate-filled, but liberal progressives will never see that, because its too close to where they live. Sad but true...
Posted by: KS | October 04, 2010 at 08:35 PM