BlatherWatch

Largest pro-wankers demonstration in history

WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history

Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.

Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.”

Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.

“Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said.  “And you know what individualists like to do.”

He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”

Seriously, al franken...

Senate Republicans lengthened the arc of justice today by filibustering Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and the DREAM Act. Why do they hate the troops? Why do they hate gays and Hispanics? Why do they act as if politics will be over November 2, 2010?

Simultaneous in seattle: rally with jon stewart, oct. 30

Can't make it to the National Mall on October 30, to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's dueling rallies?

Not to worry, you can raise your voice of reason, and express your radical ambiguity simultaneously in Seattle in the Westlake Mall.

Twenty-somethings, over 30's, moderates, progressives, vegetarians, Democrats, Gen-FloMaxers, Dave Ross listeners, and Latinos will bring down their cool, hard irony; profound ambivalence; their "I Disagree With You, But I'm Pretty Sure You're Not Hitler" signs; and no funny hats, please.

Tea-party takeover: witches and satan are back in the conversation!

The exciting, excited, and terminally cute Republican Delaware Senate candidate Christine McDonnell has inspired another important national discussion: witchcraft.

A 1999 tape from "Politically Incorrect," in which she acknowledged that she had "dabbled into witchcraft" but "never joined a coven." O'Donnell, a media-savvy evangelical Catholic, loved to shoot off her pretty little mouth on PI ...and she did so, many, many times.

"New" KVI schedule: laura ingraham rinsed, and repeated in afternoon drive

Steven Colbert calls her "Ichabod Crane's banshee widow," and he likes her.

We're telling you: three hours a day of Laura Ingraham's scolding is more than enough -- an overdose in any market -- not to mention on a single station, every weekday. (Her toil and trouble bleeds over annoyingly into other stops at the bottom of the ayem dial).

But Fisher (KVI, KOMO, Star 101) suits in their finite wisdom have, have apparently decided to REPEAT Laura Ingraham in afternoon drive after playing her live in the 9 ta noon.

Luke Burbank to the dave ross show

TBTL's Luke Burbank will join Dave Ross (KIROFM m-f, 9-12p) Monday as Dave's Pancho Sanchez. (Wingers, don't get excited: That doesn't mean Luke's a Mexican).

What does it mean?

Don't ask us, but today's appearance by Luke, despite they say it's "only for today, Monday" will stoke the roaring tongues of Radio Town.

We know nothing for sure, but we've heard that Bonneville suits like the chemicals stirred when these two get together, even with less auspicious tries-out by Seattle Times bundit, Nicole Brodeur. 

KIRO producers trade places

KIRO PD Ryan Hatch spends a lot of time in his office with the door closed. Some of the stone fruits of those long days are to fall to ground, Monday.

KIRO's Dori Monson Show (m-f, 12-3p) will trade producers with KTTH's Dave Boze Show. That means veteran Phil Vandervort will swap jobs with less-vet Jake Skorheim, 26.

They hope Vandervort might spruce up the lackluster (but nice) David Boze Show in time to meet a new competitor on KOMO, and inject a little youthiness in Dori's   weekdaily blab show.

Here's a good place to quote radio Sasquatch, Billy Bob:

Well, when it comes to total listeners (something Arbitron refers to as 'cume') KTTH isn't exactly setting the world on fire. They are ranked 24th. Let me say that more clearly: TWENTY-FUCKING FOURTH! Not only are KIRO-AM and FM ahead of KTTH. But so is KOMO. So is KJR-AM. So are three country stations. So are two jazz stations. So are the NPR stations. So is Jack and KUBE and Star and the Wolf and the Mountain and Kiss and Warm and Movin' and the End and Christa Ministries and Classic KING and the Funky Monkey and, well, just about everybody.

Gotta say it: Phil the News Junkie is a pro. A source wrote today:

"... if Phil can bring some "showbiz" (masterful manipulation of YouTube audio for use on-air and masterful enhancement of the showpage to supplement topics and drive web traffic), then maybe that  will help Dave Boze--I still think Dori's show does both of these better than anybody else in town."

Dave Boze is too affable and bland in an ah-shucks kind of way -- especially considering his crazypants politics. He seems more eager to be a local Republican kingmaker and conservative celeb than a spellbinding broadcaster. He's a cerebral partisan - maybe he doesn't have the fire-breathing gene. We can't imagine Bonneville continuing to spend the dough they do on him if this doesn't work. 

He's the only live and local voice on KTTH, which former Fisher PD Dennis Fisher once described as a "a life support system for Rush Limbaugh."

Don't know enough about Producer Jake to know if he can save Dori but we know he has age-appropriate hair, a boyish face, is from Snohomish, and graduated from University of Hawaii in 2007. 

(photo: Producer Jake & Dave Boze) 

(We met him as he was helping produce the TBTL summer stage show in August. He seemed fairly normal and unaffected from his year or so in the Dave Boze orbit).

Dori's got a little of the feminine side now with Goddess Jessicaman, maybe now with Jake, the show will get a little younger.

On the positive side: ken schram has the first new liberal talk show in seattle since 2008

KOMO's shake-up last week reduced live & local programming in Seattle talk radio, but a silver liniment might be: Ken Schram got his own show (KOMO m-f, 12-3p) and conservative talker John Carlson lost half a show. 

The David Goldstein Show, the last live and local liberal talk show in Seattle was cancelled in 2008.

Schram isn't as progressive as fogeyist right-wing listeners accuse him of being, but he was too liberal for KVI: they had to take The Commentators back to KOMO because conservative talk listeners can stand nothing but what-they-want-to-hear-radio.

Old Seattle Radio: KVI: an irreverent histoire

This is a Great Moments in Blather from April 10, 2005 

Conservative talk, the rattlesnake in the baba ganouche of Seattle nice wriggled in quietly one day in 1992, nearly unnoticed.

Station manager Shannon Sweatte was willing to try anything. In a desperate move to save the failing oldies station, KVI, (then owned by Gene Autry, “the singing cowboy”) Sweatte brought in newly-syndicated Rush Limbaugh and bare-knuckle talk jock, Mike Siegel, a liberal New Yorker freshly fired from the now defunct, KING AM

Station manager Shannon Sweatte was willing to try anything. In a desperate move to save the failing oldies station, KVI, (then owned by Gene Autry, “the singing cowboy”) Sweatte brought in newly-syndicated Rush Limbaugh and bare-knuckle talk jock, Mike Siegel, a liberal New Yorker freshly fired from the now defunct, KING AM

BREAKING: John Carlson quits KVI

After weirdness with breaks filled with recorded music, PSA's, and dead air, a distracted John Carlson announced Friday that his 3-6p show on KVI would be replaced Monday with a taped Laura Ingraham Show.

John Carlson, who began his radio career at KVI in 1993, has left KVI several times before. This time, it is, he says, because he will be doing his 9 to noon solo show on  KOMO as we've reported.

We'll have more later, but this leaves Bryan Suits (m-f, 5-9a) the only live & local host on the station, anchoring nothing but syndicated national talkers.

It hasn't been announced who will be 9 to noon replacing the live Laura Ingraham Show on KVI.