Largest pro-wankers demonstration in history

WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history

Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.

Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.”

Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.

“Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said.  “And you know what individualists like to do.”

He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”

Comments

[Chucks]

We have known that a great many of you libs were not much more than a bunch of jack-offs but we really never made an issue of it. It does not lead to the breeding of new regressive libs and you don't need to make a trip to the clinic to kill innocent babies. Sounds like a winner to me. I just prefer a partner.
Carry on.

[AprilMayJune]

Key word: prefer

[Rujax!]

This dipshit broad is the best they've got? Oh...her and the OTHER dipshit broad?

[Shabby Cat]

O'Donnell, the witch of the east, believes crazy shit like mice with genetic people brain’s (a la Pinky and the Brain). Well get ready for a new release from Maher’s "Politically Incorrect", why monkeys aren’t people, wow. Does this idiot know she’s arguing that natural selection worked for monkeys? And check the hairstyle’s