Billly Bob: COUGARS, ICEBERGS, PINOT NOIR & ALL-SNOOZE RADIO

(More Q&A trailer trash-talk from Billly Bob. He's a guy we talked into giving up his radio management career to write for BlatherWatch. He once lived in Laurelhurst, but he had to give that up for the Happy Camper Man-This-Is Really-Livin' Park &  Putt-Putt Golf Course near Monroe, WA. Billly has extinguished himself as the only radio critic in America with 3 consecutive consonants in his name. He tells us the middle L is silent).

by Billly Bob

I got my laptop back from Pawn-Fathers in Gold Bar, so I'm decked out in my cleanest dirty Seahawk t-shirt and ready to tackle more of your radio queries...

Dear Billy: I'm not a big fan of KPTK and their crazy left wing lineup with Stephanie Miller, Thom Hartman and Nore-man Gold-man, but I did like the fact that they always carried WSU football.  But this year they've dropped the Cougs. If you want to hear Cougar football you have to listen to 1380 in Everett or the business station on 1300 which I can only pick up on my radio when I'm driving in Tacoma.  What gives?  Signed Bube Zleeb

Dear Bube: I don't know from football, I'm more of a NASCAR guy...but speaking of Cougars, have you seen Stephanie Miller?

Dear Billy:  Bear with me Billy, I have a Titanic analogy regarding KOMO. Imagine you could go back in time and be Captain of the Titanic. With focus and perseverance you are incredibly able to avoid the icebergs and as you're about to pull into port in New York with all your passengers safe and sound. Would you then announce, "Hey, let's turn around and go see those icebergs!" For what seems like decades, KOMO radio was bouncing around with different lineups and formats and shows. Then they finally made a commitment to all-news and, (with the help of the Mariners, of course) lo and behold they had some stability and some ratings wins. KIRO, on the other hand, seems to have spent the last few years shooting themselves in the nuts. So now, what does KOMO do? Turns around and goes back to the icebergs. Changes formats again. What are the Fisher brass thinking?  Signed, Top Lop

Dear Top: They like to grab defeat from the jaws of victory.
 
Dear Billy: I like Dave Ross. And I actually like Luke Burbank. It's sort of how I feel about really good Pinot Noir and Dr. Pepper. Dave Ross is like a really good Pinot Noir. I could have a glass every night. Every once in a while I enjoy a Dr. Pepper. But you put Dr. Pepper in your glass of Pinot Noir and it tastes like shit. What are the Bonneville brass thinking?  Signed Remha Dyerffej

Dear Remha: Out here in Monroe we're partial to Bud Light and Nehi Orange..

Dear Billy: I'd like to add my two cents about Jim Moore, the sports guy on 710-ESPN and his over-the-top Husky bashing. But have you heard the latest? A week ago he was predicting his beloved Cougars would beat USC. Of course the Cougs got whipped like Larry Craig at an airport bathroom, 50-16. And now, Jim Moore is calling for the WSU coach to be fired. What's up with that?  Signed, Nuheh Talitta

Dear Nuheh: Maybe Larry Craig should be the next Cougar coach. I bet he knows his way around a locker room!. 

Dear Billy: I thought news people were supposed to be unbiased?  I'm listening to the new John Carlson show on KOMO this week and Carlson starts talking about Seattle's new plan to raise parking rates and extend the hours when you need to feed the meters. So John says let's get more from our newsroom and he brings on Carleen Johnson. Now, I don't want to pay more for parking than anyone else, but she proceeds to explain the story with all these clear statements about how it's a bad idea and she made it pretty clear she feels the rates shouldn't go up. I guess I might expect that from Carlson, he's supposed to be the opinionated talk host. But the city has budget troubles, so why are the news people offering their uneducated opinions?  Signed, Nosna Mselrahc

Dear Nosna: Come on out to Monroe. My neighbor has had two pickups parked in front of his double-wide for 12 years.

Dear Billy: Answer me this Billy Bob: how come I'm seeing stories about radio stations in other cities switching to more news because of how well all-news is doing with Arbitron's new People Meter Technology. KRLD in Dallas just announced that they are switching from talk to all-news. The Talk Radio Network just announced that they are going to launch a national all-news network to help stations convert to more news. So how come at the very time this trend is developing, the people running KOMO decide to give up on all-news? Signed,  Reltih Hploda

Dear Reltih: All that news over and over is boring.
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Dear Billy:  Do people really write you with questions, or do you just make shit up? Signed, Yen Gnatmot

Dear Yen: You can't make this shit up.

Comments

[blameitonme]

KOMO has a couple "know-it-all's" who bend the ear of General Manager Jim Clayton, an admitted TV guy who doesn't know radio at all. He's swayed by pretty young thangs with tits and hips, and loud New York or East Coast voices who THINK they know radio and ratings. Truth is, All-News costs money, and they don't want to add the people to cover the stories. Talk is cheap-er.

[jon]

The Cougs are on KIXI too if you want a better signal.

[MstngSally]

With the way they've been coug'ing it, think I'd prefer a worse signal. GOoooooooooo Dawgs.

[Erictheeditor]

Cougar football
850 AM, Tacoma
880 AM, Seattle
1300 AM, Seattle
1380 AM, Everett

[MstngSally]

Seems more appropriate if they were broadcast on KNDD 107.7 FM, "The END", as that's what their season is. (and I'm a Cougar, both in school affiliation as well as sexual preference')

[Earl Shankmeister]

How come all your letter-writers have backwards names?