Billy
Bob (whose real name is neither
Billy nor Bob) worked long in
the Seattle radio market wearing a suit. He says the experience
heightened his sense of irony, augmented his
influences, and diminished his circle of friends. He knows more than we do, but not as much as he used to.
by Billy Bob
This time I've got a fresh quad-mocha with extra whipped cream from my favorite Bikini Barista (I "ate" the whipped cream at the stand) and I'm ready to tackle more Northwest media queries (and the straight ones, too)....
Dear Billy:
I see that Mariner baseball is finally starting to help ESPN 710. In
February, the station had a 1.6 share, but in April they jumped up to a
3.6. But, sadly, even with baseball, that once mighty signal is still not
in the Top 10 in total listening. With KJR and KRKO in Everett, and now ESPN
710 and none of them in the top 10, do you think there's really room for three
sports stations in Seattle? Signed, Silvio Dante
Dear Silvio, Oh, sure. You know there were more than 120 munchkins in the Wizard of Oz.
Dear Billy: I think KOMO radio does a pretty decent job most of the time, even though their announcers frequently stumble over words so much they sound like they're ready for a trip to Schick-Shadel. But the one thing I don't get is the Saturday Tami Michaels home improvement show. Does that show belong on an all-news station? Signed, Phil Leotardo
Dear Phil: First, Tami is the hottest home-improvement host in all of Seattle radio. Second, can you spell m-o-n-e-y?
Dear Billy: KPTK has an interesting line-up of progressive hosts. Nor-MAN Gold-MAN is growing on me. It's a shame they have no local presence at all. And the weekends are train wrecks. I mean they even have a show called Crash Talk, which is all about ambulance chasers and body shops. Does that show belong on a political talk station? Signed, Dr. Jennifer Melfi
Dear Doc: First, can you spell m-o-n-e-y? Second....well, there is no second.
Dear Billy: Michael Savage on KTTH was my favorite show. But now he's been dumped for the very boring John Gibson. I hear that KTTH made room for Gibson, a Fox Radio show, so they could also get the Fox news network. But I also hear the Mormon brass were concerned about some of Savage's extreme comments. What's the real story? Signed, Rosalie Aprile
Dear Rosalie: Savage's family owns Rock Star energy drink. Mormons don't like caffeine.
Dear Billy: Here's a hypothetical for you. Let's say you're stranded on a remote tropical island with KPTK hosts Randi Rhodes and Amy Goodman of Democracy Now. No other people. All you have is a bottle of Beaujolais, just one Viagra tablet and a switchblade knife. What would you do? Signed, Paulie Walnuts
Dear Paulie: I'd guzzle the wine, use the knife to carve a tiny little miniature gun out of the Viagra tablet and then shoot myself.
Dear Billy: Last week you said you didn't like the name Freedom 570. But I'm a big fan of the station. I like Bryan Suits in the morning. Carlson is great in afternoons. With the new lineup and the new name, how much improvement have they seen in the ratings? Are they pretty high now? Signed Adriana La Cerva
Dear Adriana: Well, somebody over there must be pretty high, but not KVI. It's now ranked 27th out of all the Seattle area stations.
Dear
Billy: Last week
someone talked about all the great local liberal hosts who used to be in
Seattle radio. But they left out my three favorites, Allan Prell; Rick Miller
and Scoot. Where are those guys now? Signed, Bobby Baccalieri
Dear Bobby: Last I heard they were working together trying to launch a
stage show in Vegas on the Three Stooges.
Dear Billy: I assume you won't publish this or take me seriously, since it seems you mostly want to call people names and make your stupid jokes. But I'm about to tell you exactly what is wrong with our country and I'm going to use KIRO as an example. Hear me out. When Bonneville bought KIRO-AM; KBSG-FM and KTTH from Entercom, KIRO-AM had some problems. But it was like a great house that needed a fresh coat of paint. Not a tear-down and rebuild. The biggest mistake Entercom made in 10 years of ownership was a lack of competitive marketing and advertising and, most importantly, too many changes in management. There was no stability at the helm. But despite those mistakes, in Entercom's last Arbitron "trend," KIRO was #2 12+ and within a half-share point of being in the top 10 25-54. So Bonneville comes in like an out-of-town bull in a local china shop and they absolutely refused to listen to any of the local people. The people calling all the shots were a new GM from Phoenix; a regional VP from Chicago; a consultant from Michigan; and a CEO from Salt Lake City. These were the geniuses who dumped the News Radio name; cut local shows; cut the news staff; dumped CBS news; and before gauging the impact of People Meters, dumped KBSG and moved KIRO off of one of the country's best AM signals. Now, here's where I get to what's wrong with America. All those decision-makers are still with the company. Jane Shannon got fired. David Goldstein got canned. Gregg Hersholt is going to bite the bullet. The PD got whacked. And who knows what other little people are about to go. But the big dogs who force-fed these blunders down from the top??? Rewarded! Still working. Rolling in the dough. Now, CEOs and owners have the right to screw up. But sadly, since all these corporations get their way with the government, there are now fewer limits on ownership and these incompetent owners don't have any competition. That, my friend, is what's wrong with this country. No government control or oversight and corporate leaders who make others pay for their mistakes while continuing to greedily reward themselves. I'm sure you'll just call me names or say something funny, but that's what's wrong. Sign me, "KIRO Insider."
Dear Mr. Smarty Pants: I'm not sure what to say about your big fancy sentences, other than let's segue to the next letter.
Dear
Billy: I'm hearing rumors that Seattle Public Access is working
with Bryan Suits on a new late-night weekend sitcom based on an old TV show,
using local radio types. What’s the scoop? Are Ron & Don involved? Signed,
Christopher Moltisanti
Dear Christopher: They're
considering a local remake of Taxi. Suits will play Tony Banta. Ken Schram gets
the old Judd Hirsch role of Alex Reiger. Former KIRO yakker Bryan Styble
will play Jim Ignakowski. Fisher's Carleen Johnson will play Elaine
Nardo. And, yes, Ron & Don are involved. Don O'Neill plays
Latka Gravas. And Ron plays Simka Dahblitz.
(Got radio questions for Billy Bob? send 'em to
Amy would be more interested in Randi than you, BB :)
Posted by: sparky | May 25, 2010 at 06:49 PM
Dear Billy Bob
When will we see someone go to jail for the deaths of all those coal miners and the 11 killed on the oil rig in the Gulf??
Posted by: sparky | May 26, 2010 at 05:07 PM