Seattle talk radio: we make another half-assed attempt to be nice…

We were raised on Thumper’s genteel dictum: “If you can’t say sumpin’ nice, don’t say nuffin’ at all.” (It didn’t really take, but used to get us laid once in a while).

BlatherWatch has long been accused of committing verbicide against the weakest among us - radio talent. We've been mean to radio in general, the media entity bleeding the most after newspapers.

So we decided to find the ponies under the manure piles. Here they are:

Dori Monson (KIROFM) is, we gotta admit is a helluva broadcaster, and reportedly, kindly to dogs. He’s mastered the show blog and his numbers show it. While others (Ron & Don, Dave Boze, Frank Shiers) on the MyNorthwest group site pile up the  YouTube vids on their blogs, Dori actually writes original content regularly. Gotta salute the little guy for overcoming physical incapacities that would have stopped lesser men. Like a hair deficiency requiring a serious frontal comb-over; having a girls’ name; dwarfism; and “lip to sphincter-related early onset senility." He's a special guy.

Steve Scher (KUOW m-f, 9-11a) on his popular show Weekday can come up with a gardening segment in any season, despite falling snow, hurricanes or breaking news on any front, local or national. We plan to take up gardening one day so we’re taking notes. We heart WD’s political talk-talk on Fridays. But newspapers had to literally fall off the planet before WD began including on-line reporters, commentators regularly. (Steve's hat is made from real mushrooms. Photo: Facebook)

Bryan Suits (KVI m-f, 5:30−9a) has returned to Seattle radio after a dazzling year and half in LA. Facile and wry, he self-describes on the KVI website as “a fan of irony,” with “unique humor and jaw-dropping brilliance.” We wouldn't go that far,  but we do admire him for rising so early. In the spirit of hosts past, Bryan has picked up the cudgel of right-wing activism,  taking a porta-potty to Olympia as an opportunity to make toilet jokes on-air and make a political point that's less than coherent at the moment.

KVI website: hey, it’s in English! That said, there’s no way for listeners to interact with it- no comments- no chatroom. They purged Kirby Wilbur immediately from the site, but the recently disgraced and fired Peter Weissbach is still up there. There's hardly mention of Suits' "Don't dump on me" campaign. You’re SOL if you miss a broadcast- there’s no podcasting. They made cosmetic changes recently but if listeners can’t connect with hosts, it’s just a on-line brochure. Fisher has committed some dough to KVI with Carlson and Suits, but they need to commit some more to get somebody who gets new media.

Frank Shiers (KIROFM m-f, 7-11p) tries very hard, loves his daughter, and has admirable personal hygiene.

John Carlson (KVI m-f, 3-6p) has got his old partisan mojo back now that he’s on his own and doesn’t have to be congenial with Ken Schram. He’s essentially doing talk radio circa 1995. Hope it works, we doubt KVI will get another bite at the apple from Fisher if this redux effort with Carlson and Suits fails to get the numbers up.

Ken Schram (KOMO m-f, 12-2p) has a nice wife, and kids they say. We love the civil libertarian side of him, but he can't resist being a civil contrarian, which makes for predictable tedium.

(photo: Ken Scram)

KIROFM, while we can’t always find it on the dial, it has, the most live and local hosts in town. Also the best local radio website by far, and they're working it.

Ron & Don (KIROFM m-f, 3-7p) Even though the show sometimes feels like a perpetual Jerry Lewis Thing-a-thon, these guys raise money for all manner of local causes. The former shock-jocks, however have been attacked by listeners for exploiting the Haitian disaster for ratings: a kerfuffle in their blog comments was deleted by management, and prompted even more YouTube videos in lieu of original content. We know that PD Rod Arquette is concerned with their lack of, er, gravitas on current events and has taken steps for newly-named managing editor, Tom Tangney to get them up to speed, and watch over them in this market environment where hard news (KOMO) is doing so well. Tangney’s job must be like teaching math to the Olsen twins. (did we tell you? The charming Greggg Hersholdt got busted to "Anchor.")

KIROAM ESPN: great signal, we can hear it all over Seattle, in four states and British Columbia. Wish we liked sports...

Mark Levin (KVI m-f 6-8p) we admire his deft, weekdaily, broadcast compensation for his small penis.
 
Kirby Wilbur, we must say, has finally found his voice. (that's one of our jokes, see, Kirby was fired from KVI in November). Seriously though, we don’t expect him to retire. The Seattle talk market sucks, but we hear there’s mutual interest between him and Everett’s Skotdal family (KRKO) who’s got a talker in the chute pointed north - if only the neighbors will leave their transmitting towers alone. (hey, call me Kirb!)

 (Rush Limbaugh, "not as fat as he used to be.)"

KPTK, progressive Seattle’s only progressive station has found relevance and credibility by running local … ad spots! Maybe ratings will follow (but probably not). This is the lamest talk station in town with the heaviest and most obnoxious spot load, and a revolving door of taped-delayed syndicated talkers. They've worked hard for their less than single-digit market ranking.

Dave Boze (KTTH m-f, 3-6p) is a local boy made good. He learned his irony and scoffing chops at the feet of Peter Weissbach. Instead of substantive debate, Dave gives old time talk radio: Seattle bashing, mockery of local politicians, and denunciations of the Obamunists. There's way too much heard from side-kicking boychik Jake and Boze’s snore-inducing old bosses at the Evergreen Freedom Foundation.    
 
Dr. Laura (KTTH m-f, 9p-12a) self-proclaimed as "America's Yenta," she harkens a little too much to the ol’ do-as-I-say, but, hell- she’s got nice teeth! (And that’s not all! see Laura naked here).

John Gibson (KVI m-f,8-9p) hasn’t much to say, but he says it with such conviction. Dr. Laura should recommend her orthodontist.

Comments

[Puget Sound]

If Chucks says he was there, he was there.
Case Closed.

Joanie posting under fake names like Bryan Lomberg (sic) to prove a point.
Case Empty (all 24 cans)

[sparky]

You KNOW that joanie is Bryan like you KNEW Coiler and I were the same person. You need a turban like the Mighty Carnack.

[joanie]

Only the bean counter knows for sure! All hail the bean counter!

hahahahhahahahahahaha - I'm loving it!

[Puget Sound]

You KNOW that joanie is Bryan like you KNEW Coiler and I were the same person. You need a turban like the Mighty Carnack.

Posted by: sparky | February 14, 2010 at 12:39 PM

like you know Duffman is...so get off your high horse and into the manure with joanie.
LMAO

Frankly,I'm willing to roll the dice that someone who posts inaccurate information under a misspelled pseudonym is one of the usual suspects. it has the stench of joanie all over it.

[nopalofjoanie]

'I write a blog on the internet... and I'm also a gay radical...and any one who disagrees with me... why I'm just going to pout like a little kid... and make childish jokes about them... at least joanie will always like me..... ha ha ha ha ha ha...ha ha... thank you joanie for liking me you sweet sweet girl.. you are the most pleasant women on the internet!

signed the gay blogger

[KS]

Joanie and Sparky have lost any shred of credibility they had on this post. Chucks was in Haiti from his accounts and by judging his character. You can't admit Chuck was in Haiti because you are gutless and unimpressive to observers. So have it your way..

[L. Hopkins]

You know they talk of the tax and financial problems what about a couple people I know. One a girl who has two kids works part time and getting help from welfare food stamps health care etc.. And gets 7500.00 back on a tax return due to the earned income credit didn't even pay that much in. WRONG! I work hard and hardly got $500.00 back and paid in over 6,000 in taxes. Then another person who bragged about getting back almost $10,000 there is something really wrong with this picture and I think Government should get their crap in order, Why are my taxes paying them?