Billy Bob (whose name is neither Billy nor Bob) worked long in
the Seattle radio market wearing a suit. He says the experience
heightened his sense of irony, and diminished his circle of friends.
By Billy Bob
More questions and comments from my half-dozen or so fans.
Dear Billy: I thought Mormon-owned radio stations had standards when it came to the type of advertisements they wouldn't accept, in particular BB&F (beer, boobs, and family values). Today on 710 ESPN I heard an ad for 1-800-DIVORCE and then a report from the Miller Lite sports desk and, as part of a station contest, Kevin Collabro does 'sports interviews' with Hooter's girls. I guess money trumps values, no? Signed, Priscilla Pennyworth, Medina.
Dear Ms. Pennyworth: New LDS policy lets anyone advertise... except, of course, the gay.
Dear Billy: That Dori guy on KIRO is
always complaining about gumint types sticking it to taxpayers. But how
come he hasn't said a word about the mayor of Mt. Vernon sticking taxpayers
with more than $17,000 for the Glenn Beck visit to Tulip-Town? I make less than
$17,000 a year and now my taxes have to pay for Glenn Beck. Don't you
think Dori should launch a daily tirade trying to force Glenn Beck to pick up
that tab instead of taxpayers? Signed, Skagit Sam
Dear Sam: Au contraire! The Beck visit will inspire thousands of
Seattlites to buy red, white and blue tulips in the spring.
Dear Robert: Do you know
where Allan Prell has gone? He would find an audience of one very happy liberal
if he reappeared on the airwaves. Signed, Gramma
Dear Gramma: Allan spends his days with many of his radio pals...in the
unemployment line.
Dear BB: On 710 ESPN I heard Art
Thiel say that the NFL should NOT have stopped Rush Limbaugh from buying the
St. Louis Rams. He said the same thing on the P-I website. First,
the NFL didn't stop Rush... it was the private group trying to buy the team who dumped
him. Isn't that their right? I mean, look what that out-of-shape
druggie had to say about black athletes. Art is way off base on this, don't you
think? Signed, Junior
Dear Junior: No. Art is a lot like Rush. a 50-something white
guy. The backbone of America. If we could get more white guys in
the NFL and NBA, then we'd see some real excitement.
Dear BB: I was looking
online at the People Meter ratings for Seattle for September and I was stunned
to see both KIROs in the proverbial ratings' shit-can. Isn't it odd for
the stations to be that low in September when KIRO-FM had Seahawks games on the
air, and KIRO-AM had both Seahawks and Mariners? It looks to me like KOMO, with
no baseball or football, had more listeners than KIRO AM & FM
combined. Signed, Number Cruncher
Dear Cruncher: When the Seattle U. Basketball games start on KIROAM in November
things will turn around.
Dear Billy: Now that KIRO
has tilted far right, do you think they will come up with a new imaging
statement? You know, something like "Dave in the Morning; All Right
the Rest of the Day." Signed, Ex-Program Director
Dear PD: How about, "All Right, Except for Crazy Dave."
Dear BB: Here's my
plan
for how Fisher can immediately get out of Kirby Wilber's pricey
contract.
Arrange for Susan Hutchinson to call in sick and take Kirby canoeing.
Downstream, have John Carlson and Ken Schram hijack the canoe, tie
Kirby around
a big tree and go all 'deliverance' on him. Whaddaya think?
Signed, Carleen J.
Dear Carleen: Nice, and a barefoot Dennis Kelly can strum his "tiny
banjo" from a nearby bridge.
Billy Bob: Your material's getting a little stale, bub. Time for a new writer. Signed, RobP
Dear Billy: Quick question. What do you call a radio CEO up to his neck in concrete? Signed, Fired DJDear DJ: Concrete shortage.
Sam says "I make less than $17,000.00 per year and now my taxes have to pay for Glen Beck." Well you freaking freeloader, why don't you get your self a job that pays enough so that you to can pay "income tax", buy a house and pay property tax, get a real car and pay sales tax and then bitch. At least then, you might have earned the right to bitch.
Posted by: chucks | October 26, 2009 at 09:34 PM
lots of lols!
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 26, 2009 at 11:17 PM
or hook up with a gumment worker like chux did.
Posted by: joanie | October 27, 2009 at 02:02 AM
good stuff! I enjoy this.
Posted by: Rich | October 27, 2009 at 05:20 PM
KIRO-AM can't even run ESPN's baseball play-off games. Aren't they the ESPN affiliate?
Posted by: HoBo | October 30, 2009 at 03:41 PM