BlatherMunch32: eat american!

You are what you eat, they say, and now, it seems, what you eat... is a metric of how American you are!

A song bouncing around the right-wing goofosphere proclaims that those who like more than one kind of cheese; or spicy, bitter, or sweet & sour, or Chinese or Eye-talian food maybe un-American, and probably don't support the troops!

The song is from Chris Nandor, 35, known online as Pudge. He's a portly, geeky,conservative from Arlington, WA who favors the Kingston Trio, and gained a certain measure of renown when a song of his was played at the CNN/YouTube GOP Debate last November. Watch it here.

He's a Republican precinct chair, a baritone and plays chord guitar; he likes to sing about Dino Rossi, and is what passes as a Republican celebrity. His portly profile lives up to his name and his patriotism.

Pudge maintains you can know who's a real American by whether they're eating "cream of corn." 

In his new hit tune, he separates libs, ethnics and city people from real Americans by what they eat. If you eat more widely than the junk food diet of the Bard of Arlington, you're probably an elite, a foreigner, or a disloyal frog-eater.

(Pudge's songs are tuneful triumphs of squeezing as many words as possible into a line, and making sure the last word rhymes with the last word of the previous line. Though the poesy is often tortured, and a little reaching, it nearly always makes sense in a clean-cut right-wing context).

Here's Eat American! fisked like an halibut loin:

Some people like all kinds of cheese
Some people like Italian
Some even like Chinese
Well I'm not here to tell you what kind of food to prefer
But if you are American
It's your duty, spread the word:

Eat American!
    Fried chicken, cream of corn
    Eat American!
    From the day that you are born
    So our farmers can compete
    You are what you eat
    Eat American

One cheese that's cleared of treason-free eatin' must be "American cheese," that odd substance that's definitely American, although it's not altogether clear that it's cheese.

The origins of fried chicken are a little dubious for true Americans and maybe even subversive:  Wikipedia: " ... fried chicken was known in Europe as pollo fritto in Italy, Ga Xao in Vietnam, etc. before it became a culinary habit in the

(photo: is it "Freedom chicken" or slop for the "diversity trough?")

Southern United States. The Scots, and later Scottish immigrants to many southern states had a tradition of deep frying chicken in fat, unlike their English counterparts who baked or boiled chicken. There is also evidence of deep frying in West Africa."

Corn is definitely an American food, one of the very few: even though we learned about it from the Indians, the original anti-Americans.

We're not sure why cream-style corn is patriotic: there's no cream: it's the sweetened, gelatinous, corn pulp cleaned out of the machinery in an Iowa corn cannery. You can't make me eat it -- I'd let myself be dragged off to Guantánamo first.

    Chicago deep dish pizza
    Sweet corn bread and beans
    Baked or smashed potatoes
    And all potatoes in between
    Potato chips, potato puffs
    Pass the freedom fries
    With lots of ketchup to symbolize
    The blood of the men who died

Chicago deep dish pizza is deeply American -- at least four inches deep, and cheesy -- not unlike Sarah Palin. It's so deep in fact, out West we'd call it a casserole.

(Judging by the pure trashiness of it, I'd submit that the Pineapple and Canadian bacon pizza is deeply and truly American, despite it sounds like it could be traitorous, if not socialistic. Canadian Bacon isn't really Canadian, but the real American name for back bacon which is called something different altogether by those famously foreign Canadians).

Gotta agree with Pudge who seemingly lives on potatoes: Ketchup is potent symbol of the blood shed by those fighting the people who hate our freedom and would take away our precious right to eat bland and fatty mono-diets.

(Photo: ketchup- blood of our fathers)

I wear my ketchup proudly on my lapel, (if not my shirt front).

Surprisingly, some dishes we think are foreign and un-American are not. Egg Foo Yung is at least as American as apple pie which Citizen Pudge failed to mention. This Chinese-style omelet with gravy was invented in America for Americans. In many American restaurants in St. Louis, Missouri, it's served called a St. Paul sandwich -- an egg foo young with mayo, dill pickle, lettuce and tomato between two slices of white bread. If it's not American enough: put ketchup on it!

(photo: egg too yung- vetted as a "great American")

They're not sure which, but apple pie had its unfortunate beginnings in freedom-hating Euro-trashy, socialist countries such as England, Holland, or Germany, which may be the reason why the mellifluous Pudge left it out of his song.

To all the pregnant women
    Eat until you're filled
    To make your kids Americans.
    I say, grill, grill baby grill

This probably wouldn't pass medical fact-checking, and Tom Tancreado certainly wouldn't approve... Just think if moms in Mexico could simply eat cream -style corn and ketchup while preggers, and pop out little Americans with papers!

Gotta love "grill, baby, grill." What says "America!" prouder than a man with a bloody hunk of meat over glowing briquets wearing an apron that says "Kiss the Cook!" Lumps up the throat every time.

Lest we forget: historians say that cooking meat over an open fire began in The Home of the Brave and the Land of The Free. It's a tradition worth fighting for!

Some people mix their foods
    Each dish is a buffet
    Sweet and sour, bitter, hot
    It's not the American way
    Well I don't want any spicy food
    Mr. Waiter, please
    'Cause I've got to cherish the memories
    Of the men who gave that food to me.

That leaves those damn Mexicans, East Indians, Chinese, Norwegians, Bulgarians, Louisianans, Texans, Californians, Germans, Negros, and of course the French. And oh yeah -- people over than 60 who remember flavor; those sneaky, seaweed-eating Japs; Democrats; Seattleites and other "diversity-lovers" who'd eat any damn thing, including each other.

Comments

[Duffman]

Wow! Where are my ice skates? Surely hell hath frozen over! The infamous SP's 'Pudge' headlined on Blatherwatch...I wouldn't have called this one. :)
Very good, Bla'M; I've enjoyed Pudge's songs and most of his 'reasoned' ways over time but never imagined in a million years that he's be featured herein. Ha.
Kudo's to ya.
Pudge seems to be an incredibly talented individual and like Dori Monson - stirs up the conversation such that it becomes more enlightening and most times 'educational'. He has command of his facts much like he has of his probing song lyrics.
Great 'Sunday' in America indeed...hell hath frozen...Hallelluia!!!

[sparky]

We will be looking for his songs about dealing with diabetes and his triple by-pass in a few years.

[Duffman]

...judge and jury, as always.

[joanie]

This was a stellar piece. Enjoyed it right down to the last serving.

We can only hope, Michael, that true red conservatives will follow their pudgy leader (pun intended) right into an early grave leaving us healthy liberals to save the planet a la Adelle what's-her-name.

BTW, did you know that pudge enjoys reading Kevin Henkes books as well?

[pudge]

Joanie is just displaying her ignorance. She thinks a phrase that people have been using for more than 20 years was invented in a children's book in '96. It's not terribly pathetic not that she is in error about it, but but that she thinks it has some importance of any kind, and that she won't let it go, is kinda scary.

And Michael Hood, shame on you. I never once sung about Dino Rossi. Get your facts straight.

As to the rest, it seems pretty silly of you to dissect parody -- much less to ascribe to me the characteristics of what I am parodying -- but if it makes you happy, go for it, I guess.

[Sim Card]

Pudge is what passes for talent in the shrinking conservative political world. Every notice how the vast majority in the creative arts, and the entertainment world seem to be liberal? It is because the philosophy is embedded in stodge and regression. Pudge's simple 3-chord Kingston Trio knock-offs typify the apex of Republican creative talent. Oh yeah, there's Bo Derek-

[Cinco]

Hey Duffman,
Pudge's talent and your taste are perfect for each other.

[Mango]

"Pass the freedom fries
With lots of ketchup to symbolize
The blood of the men who died."

Everybody gets how laughable that is, right?

[pudge]

Sim Card, since you obviously have no clue about my philosophy, since it is precisley opposite of regression, I don't think you're very qualified to comment on, well, anything else about me. No offense, but maybe you should think before posting? HAND HTH KTHX!

[Duffman]

...jealousy again raises it's head herein...it's so apparent and sooooo telling haha

[pudge]

Mango, I am curious: what do you think my intention was with that line?

[Coiler]

Chad Mitchell Trio was much better..."John Birch Society, Barry's Boy's" etc.

[blathering michael]

When readers don't know it's parody, the satirist has a problem, Pud.

Sorry if I mischaracterized the song from your solid gold first album titled "Christine, Christine, Christine," but it sounded mostly like a paean to the slick Dino to me. I am properly ashamed.

[joanie]

Why don't you explain it, pudge? I'd like to know...

[pudge]

"When readers don't know it's parody, the satirist has a problem"

Nope. The problem is not me at all. If the song had been performed by a liberal, you would have assumed it was parody. The problem is entirely with your obviously false preconceptions of me in particular.

Every single line in that song, from the title phrase onward, is obvious parody to anyone who isn't already predisposed to think poorly of me in particular, or conservatives in general.

I mean, come on. "Some people like all kinds of cheese"? On what planet could that be considered a bad thing by anyone, ever? How could that NOT be parody?

But then, some people thought my song "George Bush is Hitler" was serious too, so I am used to people not getting it.

It's kinda the point of much of art, isn't it? Challenge peoples' preconceptions. I've obviously done that ... just wait until I cover a Bob Roberts song. Your head will blow off trying to figure it out.

"Sorry if I mischaracterized the song from your solid gold first album titled "Christine, Christine, Christine," but it sounded mostly like a paean to the slick Dino to me. I am properly ashamed."

Well, it never mentioned Dino, even in the asbtract. It was anti-Gregoire, to be sure, but not pro-Dino except in that he is the alternative to her at this time. Perhaps you thought that the protagonist of the song was intended to be Dino? If so, no, not at all.

[Kevin]

Notice how Republicans always have the comeback of " It was a joke!" when caught doing something really stupid?

Duffman, why would I be jealous of this man? Care to elaborate on that?

[pudge]

Ahahahahahaha.

I don't read this site, Duff pointed it out to me. So I just now saw that Michael Hood wrote that Darcy Burner didn't lie about having a degreein economics. Even though she said she "I loved economics so much that I got a degree in it from Harvard" and she ... didn't. It never happened.

The guy from Harvard even said she didn't. When he said how she was representing it was correct, he was referring to the "degree in computer science and economics" construction in her bio, not what she said in the debate. What's in her bio is arguably misleading, but what she said in the debate was clearly false.

No wonder he didn't recognize parody, he can't even recognize plain facts.

[Duffman]

'Duffman, why would I be jealous of this man? Care to elaborate on that?'

Because of his ability to offer parody in such a sensible way and to have enough of an open mind to see all sides of things. Whereas you and many others herein first need to filter by political bias before considering what the real content might be. It's just very obvious to everyone. Keep 'pretending' your life away.

[Don]

Actually, Pudge's claim to fame (or infamy) was in 1999 when he wrote a program that hacked the All-Star balloting. His program voted for Nomar Garciaparra 40,000 times. At the time, he lived in Boston, but has since relocated to Arlington.

http://graphics.boston.com/allstar99/news/all_hack_070799.htm

[blathering michael]

Pud: I liked what the Harvard guy wrote in this morning's Seattle Times in response to this manufactured kerfuffle about Darcy's education. Before I quote it, though, do you think it was wise of the R's to bring up the educational achievements of these candidates -- Darcy with her CS/Economics degree from Harvard, and The Sheriff w/ his AA from the bible college?

Here's the truth:
As recent Harvard graduates, we have a shocking revelation we would like to share with your readers: Democratic congressional candidate Darcy Burner may have received a degree from Harvard in 1996, but she was neither a computer-science major nor an economics minor, and she was certainly not both ["Darcy Burner's claims of a Harvard econ degree an exaggeration," News, Oct. 22].

The terminology our university uses can be tricky. Graduates of Harvard College (which is part of Harvard University, but actually predates it), receive artium baccalaureus (A.B.) degrees, also known as Bachelor of Arts in English, and instead of majors, we have concentrations. We call teaching assistants "teaching fellows." And despite last year's addition of secondary fields, there was and is still nothing called a minor at Harvard.

As her profile on The Seattle Times' Web site correctly states, Burner's education is, "Harvard University, B.A. in computer science with a special field of economics, 1996." And as she explains on her own Web site, at Harvard, Burner "earned a degree in computer science and economics." There is no contradiction here, no exaggeration, and certainly no lying.

At Harvard, we have joint concentrations, which are like double majors. As of this year, we also have primary and secondary fields, which is like a major and a minor. And to make matters even more confusing, when Burner was at Harvard, the computer-science department required students to choose an area of specialization. Burner chose economics. As a result, Burner completed five upper-level economics courses, in addition to significant course work in computer science and mathematics. Burner's course of study was almost certainly more intensive than that of the majority of economics concentrators at Harvard.

Voters in Washington's 8th Congressional District have more important issues to worry about than the terms in use at Harvard. We hope that The Seattle Times recommits itself to investigating issues that really matter as the election draws near.

[Kevin]

Hah! That's a good one, Duffman. More entertaining than I had expected.

But in a word, no. You know nothing about me. But, ignorance is natural. Stupidity takes commitment. You keep practicing, ok?

[Duffman]

Yeah, sure Okay...'Kevin'....hehe

[pudge]

Don, yes, that was a good one. Shortly after that I also had a mini-claim to fame in the tech world, when I announced the release of a fake Linux distribution for Christians called "Jesux." That was, like this song, a bit of satire that a lot of people didn't get.

Blatherer: um. I am talking about the fact that she said had a degree in economics. Not "computer science and economics," but "in economics." She said that. On multiple occasions. But she did not have such a degree. There is nothing "manufactured" about this "kerfuffle." She lied. She got caught. No one at Harvard backs up her lie.

I don't care about the degree stuff, although I find it funny. But when you're saying she didn't lie, and you ignore the fact that she said she had a degree "in economics," then you just make yourself look like a partisan shill hiding the facts to make your candidate look better, just like Goldy.

Kevin: yes, ignorance is natural, as demonstrated by you when you express the belief that an obvious parody is serious. I mean, come on. Even The Blatherer has accepted the fact that he was wrong.

[chucks]

I have no idea what Darcy has to do with munch Sunday. Why would you bring that up on our day off?
Anyway, you brought it up. Near as I can tell, she is just another educated idiot. They either teach or run for public office. We have enough of them.
We need people that have lived and worked in the real world in congress.
Dave Reichert for Congress.

[joanie]

Therein lies the problem with words. The preoccupation with words diminishes the time spent understanding issues.

So sad. Wouldn't you think everyone would want the best candidate to win? I would vote for an honest person who didn't have a college degree. I would vote for Reichert if I thought he were best on the issues. He's another Bush-like candidate. Doesn't that speak volumes more than just words are able?

It is the knowledge that is important, pudge. Not the labels you give it. That was the point of the article. She has the learning, pudge. And the labels she gave it were correct according to the author of the article.

Who are you to deny his claim?

[PugetSound]

Pudge
Trying to educate Joanie, is casting pearls before swine.
She don't get it. She won't get it.

But good stuff as always.

[joanie]

hahahaha...yeah, people who live "in the real world" and who get their retirement subsidized by gambling on the internet!

That's the real world for sure!

hahahahaha

Thanks, chucks. Another astute observation.

[Duffman has a new boyfriend!]

Pudge, pay no attention to their insults...that's their typical recourse when they find themselves over-matched...they attack the messenger on any grounds they can because they simply cannot be open-minded. Totally politically-biased based. :)
You are a talent my friend in more ways than one. Posted by Duffman at October 26, 2008 02:36 PM

[joanie]

Let voices throughout American sing this refrain:

Share the wealth!

Let socialism reign supreme!

If socialism is good enough for Paulson and the wealthy, it's good enough for me!

[buzzardbarf]

"You are what you eat"
Guess that makes me a Darcy Burner pussy.

[joanie]

Hey, you guys. Do you think I'll be the new Woody Guthrie?

Hmm...if we're going to have a new Depression, I'll have to get my guitar out and roam the country singing Roll on, Columbia.

Well, maybe I'll have pudge write me some new material. Or do you just write about food?

Roll on, Ravioli?

I don't think so.