Blathermunch 20: two chickens in every garage

It's the end of another disastrous Republican era. They're saying it's to be the worst economic downturn since the one now known romantically as The Great Depression -- the end of another disastrous Reublican era.

We say: don't be nervous, think of it as an opportunity... to eat more chicken!

No need to eat styrofoam peanuts or wear a cardboard belt when you can roast a chicken. In our family, when there's a crisis, a celebration, a hampster birth (or death) a new in-law; a major decision to be made, dad goes to rehab or George Bush is reelected, we don't cry or get drunk: we roast a chicken!

Blathering Fool-proof Roast Chicken for the Post-Republican Era

Cut:
buy a whole chicken (they cost much less per pound, and you can cut 'em up better than those factory hackers). Cut off leg/thighs, the wings. Stand the body neck side down and with a big knife cut down the ribcage parallel to the backbone separating the breast from the back. Divide the legs, cut the backs in two. Leave the double breast whole, bone-in. Here are pictures.

Marinade:
2-3 T. olive oil
salt
2 large (cloves (1 T.) pressed or fine-chopped garlic

2 T. or more spice blend or rub: your choice -- at the moment I'm into World Spice Merchant's (1509 Western Avenue Seattle) Singapore Curry. They have all manner of rubs and curries here, most of which will work just fine. If you're repressed, or a Republican, simple salt and pepper works too. Herbs are good, but with the blast-roasting we're going to give this baby, they can leave black specks. You heard it here: cheap meats/expensive seasonings.

Salt the chicken all over. Stir spices, olive oil and garlic in a large bowl until absorbed. Dump in the chicken and make sure it's completely coated with the oil/seasoning mix. Cover and put in the fridge for a couple hours (or more hours or... no hours).

Roast:
Preheat oven to 500°F.

Place the breast and the legs skin side up on a broiler pan rack.

Roast for 15 minutes at the high heat, then turn down the oven to 425°F for 20 more minutes. Total time must be 35 minutes at these high heats for perfect breasts, and legs, thighs and ankles like the ones in your moistess dreams.

Comments

[nevets]

Wait, this is the start of the Liberal era right. Has B'lam been asleep like Reid, Pelosi, and Murray since Jan 07'. Wake up B'lam.

[sparky]

500 degrees? Dear Gawd! have the fire extinguisher near by.

Heh..I know you were a chef in another life, so i will take your word for it and try it.

I roast my chicken whole...(I will have to look in to your spices though). I put mine on a rack in a roasting pan, with a lemon and some rosemary up its hoo, laying it on its side...roast for 30min at about 350, rotate it to the other side, contine roasting for 30 minutes, back side up for another 30, and then breast side up for another 30, basting it with melted butter on each rotation. Obviously it isnt fast like yours! I have also read about positioning a full can of beer in the chicken hoo, with the chicken sitting up..the heat makes the beer boil and spew its self all over the inside of the chicken.

Sounds like Chicken Porn to me.

I will have to give yours a try...I am intrigued with blow-torch-like temperatures!

[blathering michael]

'spewing' isn't a good food word

[sparky]

LOL...no, it isn't. Guess I can't get a job writing cookbooks.

[FREMONT]

Yeah. stick to porn writing, Sparks.

This entire chicken roasting process is heinously cruel and antithetical to the tenets of Save the Chickens.org unless the chickens are raised "free range". Please, if you must consume dead meat, eat only those birtds that were allowed to "stretch their wings" before being slaughtered.

[sparky]

Can't write porn, either, it seems. LOL

I buy organic chickens who were taken up in hang gliders, strapped to rich millionaires who won the Washington State Lottery, Fremont!

Seriously, I won't eat veal because of the way the calves are raised.