BlatherWatch

Mo Rocca: luke burbank is the great hope for all the sluts out there!

"Remember how Stella got her groove back?" asked Mo Rocca. "Well, that's how Luke got his hymen back -- that's the story of Luke Burbank."

We'd caught up with Mo Rocca Saturday afternoon at his place in Chelsea to ask him about Burbank. They're friends.

(Truthfully, we hadn't "caught up" with him at all. He wasn't running; our talk was prearranged; he was washing his socks, and picking up around his apartment, not scurrying or trying to escape. What's more, we weren't in New York; we were in Seattle phoning New York. We wrote that about "catching" Rocca because we thought, as have so many interviewers before us, that it'd make us sound breezy and maybe a little equal to this urbane, funny, famous man. It was supposed to be a " O busy, busy us FINALLY connected with busy, busy Mo" sort of thing... it was cheesy, sorry.)

Mo Rocca, 39, is a veteran comedian and CNN political commentarian known for breathing the gift of life into Larry King during the 2004  presidential conventions and appearing all over the teevee as correspondent on The Daily Show; an Animal Planet host; a judge on Iron Chef. He is known for incisive commentary and impeccable grooming. He recently summed up Barack Obama: "I trust a man with big ears." Rocca's blog, Only Half as Tedious as the Regular News can be found at MoRocca180.com.  

So what's this about Luke Burbank, creator of KIRO's peculiar new show, Too Beautiful to Live (m-f, 7-10p) regaining his virginity?

Marketing masterpiece: sheriff dave reichert, serial killer killer.

"It's one thing to write a hero [for a movie]. It's different to be a real hero. That's what David Reichert is. It's slightly intimidating to play him when you know the breadth of his accomplishments, but we had a great group of people to help bring it to life. We knew we had to live up to Congressman Reichert's actions. We knew what a hero he was. The real challenge was trying to live up to that." ~~ actor Tom Cavanagh (above right)

"[Dave Reichert] desecrated the victims. The public ought to know that," says Seattle University journalism and criminal justice Professor Tomás Guillén.

The pristinely coiffed sheriff (above left with the actor who plays him) is portrayed as the dogged cop who got the Green River killer in The Capture of the Green River Killer, airing Sunday and Monday nights on the Lifetime Movie Network.

Guillen is describing Republican 8th District Congressman Reichert, known in local law enforcement as 'Sheriff Hairspray' -- and for his manipulation of the Green River murder investigation in order to climb up into party politics.

The movie will keep alive the Reichert-stoked myth that his police work and determination was responsible for the arrest of Gary Ridgway.

Many argue the opposite is true.

BlatherMunchems: carbon footprints, eau de hot wings; republican eats crackpot crow; kitchen jokes; apples like koolaid; fried-chicken pomegranate; grrrmet bubblegum; nancy leson: free at last;

(Welcome to BlatherMunch, our weekly (on Sundays) devotion to food -- the other thing in life we're passionate about after politics. media, baby wipes, and The Bible. Please comment, but stay on food topics or the subject matter we've raised in this post. Today['s opoist is the foodie equivalent of our regular feature, Oddems, short takes on the news.

~~ in our Archie McPhee story last week we mentioned corndog air fresheners, a delightful innovation without which we're not sure life could go on. Today, we've discovered another product that brings the essence of American man-culture and fast food truth into our otherwise drab, wretched lives. At Manterns, which specializes in candles for men, candles exuding the ineffable aroma of hot wings, bacon or the hickory smoked goodness of BBQ-ed ribs. Perfect for the upcoming Fathersdaypallooza festivities, this company has candles scented like a Baseball Glove, or a Bait Shop; Whiskey and Cola, T-bone Steak, Sawdust or any of those other manly man smells that make your man like every other man. All that's missing here, is Bad Feet. There's even one that has that beloved Old Man smell of Old Spice, and rancid cigars. Don't believe me? Order here.

~~ Kitchen joke: Q: Who was that ladle I saw you with last night? A: That was no ladle, that was my knife.  Ol' Fry-cook's Newsletter; May, 1964.

Another silly McDermott foofahaha -- when can we get somebody real in congress?

UPDATE: Hear Rep. Jim McDermott do some 'splainin' in-studio on the Dave Ross Show on KIRO, Friday from 9:15-10a.

It may be a beneficent side effect of our new top two primary that Sunny Jim McDermott might have to run against a Democrat who could beat him.

(Be still, our hearts...)

As Luke Burbank (KIRO m-f, 7-10p) would say, Jim McDermott is not awesome. Why can't Seattle have a representative who is energetic, effective , or at the very least... not embarrassing?

Poulsbo's got Jay Inslee, Mt. Vernon has Rick Larsen; Tacoma has Norm Dicks -- we could go on...

Now it turns out that MickDee's well-publicized Baghdad trip was paid for by Saddam Hussein's spy unit. We're sure that McD was ignorant of that fact, but hell, that just makes him ignorant.

David gregory's 'Race' is a winner

Gotta say it, we're digging MSNBC's "Race for the White House" (MSNBC m-f, 6-7 p. EDST) with David Gregory.

Gregory is NBC's Chief White House correspondent and has replaced Tucker Carlson who was growing more and more irritating aging as he was so very slowly, and surely.

(It's always been hard to see that Tucker was aging because despite having the politics of an 80-year-old, he always looked like a Young Republican on his way to an ice cream social. Carlson, if truth be known, is really in his early 60's and a grandpa several times over).

Governor Gregoire: Washingtonians cry out -- don't be messing with Archie!

We're a bunch of elitist liberals, and socialists around here. We believe government has answers, and don't mind paying for them. We think way more harm's been done to America by the lack of government regulation than the other way around.

That said, (and 'that said' having been said) we gotta agree with the snarling, libertarian, puke Dori Monson (KIRO m-f, 12-3p) that the Draconian new regs passed by the Legislature and before Governor Gregoire about lead in toys is a very bad idea.

It could kill or severely maim Archie McPhee, the iconic Ballard toy store, and mail order house. This is the one-stop shopping for inflatable toast, the Nancy Pearl action figure, Devil Ducks, Miracle Eyes of Jesus; Windup Hopping Lederhosen; Corn dog Air Fresheners; Watermelon Flavored Sigmund Freud Head Lollipops; Ceramic Smoking Babies; and our personal favorite this year, the Gummy Haggis.

RADIO IS AWESOME! the dj with no name to perform

An evening of comedy, stories, and music
with DJ No Name & surprise local celebrities
Mainstage Comedy and Music Club
Wed., April 9
315 1st Ave. N.
Doors open 7p,
how 8p; $20; $40 for VIP seating & champagne at 6p with No Name & friends
Tickets Fri., 3/21 at 3p @ Mainstage Box Office or call 206-217-3700

We said really nasty things about Bob Van Dyne back in the summer of 2006 when he took the 7-10p at KIRO before they hired Frank Shiers on full-time.

Van Dyne is an FM jock who then KIRO PD Tom Clendening gave a chance to give newstalk a try, and we suppose we coulda been nicer.

(Sadly, that's the caption of our life: the comment on the report card, the line in the divorce decree; a count on the arrest warrant; the prevailing opinion by the parole board , and probably our epitaph -- "he coulda been nicer." )

Mystery solved: why o'reilly is after the washington post, and other jokes

Billo denounced Washington Post editor Len Downie, Jr. with a vengeance on his teevee show today, accusing the paper of smear attacks and libel. He even put up Downie's picture in the screen with his name under it -- when he does that, you can be sure he's mad.

So what else is new, you ask?

This was unusual: he frequently calls the NY Times a far left smear merchant; or rails against the socialist Atlanta Journal-Constitution, or calls out the left-wing goons of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer -- but rarely does he blart about The Post.

When asked about it by a surprised Juan Williams who used to work at The Post, Billo wouldn't say much except that Downie should watch out: because it was rumored that "some Post employees have significant personal situations of their own." And if they don't wise up, he'd unleash the hounds of Fox upon them.

Let the smearapalooza begin...

The likes of Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, Savage: and ultimately John McCain have been given a lavish gift by Democrats with the probable nomination of a poorly-vetted Barack Obama, the neutering of Hillary Clinton, and the consequent permission given to talk radio conservatives to play a full deck of race cards.

Race has been injected into the campaign, so talk radio has gotten the green light to fling their turdlets of race far and wide like a manure spreader turned up to 11.

Living in a liberal bubble such as Seattle, San Francisco, or New York, we're notoriously myopic about how right-wing opinion-benders can so heavily influence the independent voters, so vital to winning a majority in this election.

BlatherMunch6: A dissertation upon roast pig

Having had minor knee surgery Friday, we're blogging lite; wafting off in Vicodan dreams on the couch, letting the teevee watch us and eating Vietnamese cream puffs for supper. 

For this week's BlatherMunch, we're reprinting this essay by the English author and essayist Charles Lamb (1775-1834) which my father would read aloud whenever we had a pork roast for Sunday dinner. We, the children, weren't appreciative of it as it delayed the actually eating; was lengthy yet didn't cancel out saying grace, which we viewed a further unnecessary delay.

It's the story of mankind's discovery of roast pig-meat and flies high above the tedious arguments between creationists who take it on faith this divine succulence was handed down by God; and the rationalists who insist the idea evolved from a murky pre-history where creepy primitives lifted themselves up from eating their pig raw or boiled.

It was a human development at least as important as the cookin' pouch or the spork.

Regurgitating someone else's work avoids the howls of disgust I raise each year with my customary sacrelegious, and tasteless Easter jokes.