As Luke Burbank predicted, Blatherwatch readers are downright bamboozled and dismayed at Too Beautiful to Live, KIRO's brave new, weeknightly show with Burbank, and Jen Andrews (m-f, 7-10p).
In an insightful feetch in today's Seattle Times, Florangela Davila catches the energy and discipline with which Burbank seeks out absurdity; his quirk-seeking wit; his reverence for the banal; and his near worship of the very utter idea of himself.
Here's her lede:
If there's something to be said about the cultural supremacy of "The Karate Kid," expect radio broadcaster Luke Burbank to pull a Mr. Miyagi and wax on about the flick. To applaud Celine Dion and pity (sort of) Britney Spears. To wonder if things are ironic or merely coincidence and to, well, act like a girl and fret about his weight. (Burbank is 6 feet tall, 183 pounds and unabashedly vain.)
We were buttonholed tonight at Drinking Liberally by BlatherWatch reader and frequent commenter Stephen Schwartz, (who goes inscrutably by the handle, Seattle Jew) who broke in to ask, "Has KIRO gone completely mad?"
Of course he was talking about TBTL, which we learned in Davila's piece, Luke nearly named "Catch My Disease with Luke Burbank."
We could only mutter to Stephen, who is 66, a something like "If you don't like it, it's not for you," sort of thing.
(Luke and Jen would say that clearly, Stephen is not awesome; and Stephen would concur).
We're still trying to get a current picture of Jen Andrews instead of
the old one on the right. She doesn't like us and there's a lavish
reward for anyone who will send us a headshot of her we can use on
BlatherWatch. (Hint to photographers: TBTL will be live Friday night from the doomed Sunset Bowling alley in Ballard).
Being the self-appointed Critic of Everything, we'll weigh in on TBTL, soon enough, but here are a few of our loyal commenters remarks about the show :
Andrew: Luke has a voice that may very well fit the 07:00 - 10:00 spot, kind of unassuming and definitely NPR-flavored. Hope he doesn't turn into a beelzebug.
wutitiz: I won't be surprised if Luke does very, very well. If so it's welcome because 7-10 is a wasteland right now. What would you prefer, Dr. Joy Brown??
My Man Dori: Dori is a blue collar boy from Ballard. He worked late nights at the local grocery store, paid his way through UW and broke his back through the system to become the success he is today. Luke Burbank is a preppy spoiled kid that got everything handed to him including a new age worthless petty talk show.
Catlin Capital: Talking about the Seahawks, taking a shower with your wife and dog or picking your nose does not constitute legitimate stories for a news talk radio station. The fluffy Burbank format will not work. KIRO has really lost its bearings.
Tommy008: oooh, precious Jen Andrews doesn't like us, and won't send us her picture. Awwwwwww. isn't that special. Add 500 BONUS POINTS TO MY GROWING DISLIKE OF THE NEW SHOW.
"Hope he doesn't turn into a beelzebug."
Luke/Jen: still listening and still interested. Just wanted to clarify with a definition (smile).
Def: beelzebug - Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at
three7-10 in themorningevening and cannot be cast out.Posted by: andrews | January 09, 2008 at 05:46 AM
The Luke Burbank show is proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that KIRO has zero respect for its listeners.
Posted by: abob | January 09, 2008 at 06:00 AM
I believe in giving hosts time before I make up my mind whether I like their show or not. In the past, I've jumped the gun by deciding in the first week or two that I didn't like the host, only to have them grow on me.
Posted by: DT | January 09, 2008 at 07:31 AM
If Jen doesn't want her picture made public, why not honor that? Why encourage stalkers, I mean readers, to take her picture and send it in so it can be posted on this blog? I don't think that's ethical. Jen, if you're reading this, wear a hat and sunglasses at the bowling alley.
Posted by: DT | January 09, 2008 at 07:41 AM
Hood, go to KIRO's website and look under the show profiles there IS a picture of Jen with her mouth wide open. I think she's singing.
Posted by: NoBS | January 09, 2008 at 08:07 AM
looks like she may be fairly hot. From Ballard and likes Lyle Lovett - that's quite a combo.
And USC?...well, we won't hold it against you. GOoooooo Cougs!
Posted by: HillBill | January 09, 2008 at 08:16 AM
Abob, I agree with you, but KIRO doesn't want you (or me for that matter) as a listener. They want younger, hipper, 30ish people. They already have so many old listeners that they're not even reaching the core 25-54 audience, their current audience is more like 57+ and advertisers aren't attracted to them. Problem is that 30ish and younger people don't have an ingrained radio listening habit to begin with and AM radio is foreign to them. It's a gamble for KIRO, we'll have to wait and see how or if it pays off.
Posted by: NoBS | January 09, 2008 at 09:36 AM
That picture is not of Jen- it's Darla Winkleman who used to work at KBSG, she went back to California. She was hot, world class teeth.
Posted by: salesdude | January 09, 2008 at 09:47 AM
salesdude: thanks for clearing that up...too bad; you know being hot does have a certain drawing attraction, even to radio.
Luke is a good-lookin guy and that too will give him further consideration by many.
Posted by: BillHill | January 09, 2008 at 09:54 AM
I'm not one to brown-nose, but that description of LB was inspired:
"...catches the energy and discipline with which Burbank seeks out absurdity; his quirk-seeking wit; his reverence for the banal; and his near worship of the very idea of himself."
Very beautiful--the thing just flows. If I were Burbank I'd buy the rights and use in in my intro.
Posted by: Leif-Gard Swanson-Monson | January 09, 2008 at 10:28 AM
Get Jen Andrews picture, Mike. We want to see her. She is a public person. Who does she think she is? Mike Webb? She sounds hot, maybe she's not. Is that the reason she is being so shy or un cooperative?
Posted by: sarge | January 09, 2008 at 10:36 AM
Those new to reading this blog, it may seem like there are a lot of different people posting in the comments section, but a few people post under many names. Example: My Man Dori, Catlin Capital, and Leif-Gard Swanson Monson are all the same person.
Posted by: DT | January 09, 2008 at 10:40 AM
Yes, I would like a current picture of her if you please, I intend to fire up the old Photoshop and make a photo album called "the life we might have had together."
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | January 09, 2008 at 10:48 AM
DT:
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...WRONG. Leif-Gard Swanson-Monson was Wutitz. The others are somebody else--I don't know whom.
You're wrong about this; what else might you be wrong about???
Posted by: wutitiz | January 09, 2008 at 10:54 AM
The Luke Burbank show is just one more sad decision by KIRO...
First, Ron & Don, now this.
I was interested to hear this Burbank guy since I long for the glory days of KIRO, and figured he may be a refreshing change, but as he played meaningless clip, one after another from old shows, I couldn't understand why anyone would find it the least bit interesting. Just boring.
He's another reason to listen to something else other than KIRO.
They've really gone downhill the past year.
Posted by: Boris_S_Wort | January 09, 2008 at 03:08 PM
Jen Andrews says she hates all genres of Jazz. She exposed the vapid, empty condition of her mind and soul.
Posted by: abob | January 09, 2008 at 03:30 PM
I can't believe I listened to 3/4 of the show last night! I can't! I kept thinking when the next break happens I'm gone - outta here - hasta la Kiro. Break starts and either my brain freezes or my arm becomes paralyzed and I fail to change the channel. Mid way into the commercials I'm thinking - one more segment it can't get any worse now...can.... it.
Next segment he starts off with "This is too beautifull to live with Luke Burbank" I'm thinking to myself in Starwars mode "Luke I FOR SURE AM NOT YOUR FATHER" And he starts reading Instant messages... blah blah Too beautiful to die blah blah... I'm now thinking well I'm not so insane that I will IM Kiro with that comment - I will just... I will just... I will just post my comment at Blatherwatch thats what I do. I'll prove once and for all I'm more nuts that the guy that IM 'd that.
I agree you can't fire them 2 days into the new show - but BOWLING in BALLARD and the FASHION THING... and a BABY that peed on a politician? I think I'll just go listen to Coast to Coast A.M. and alll those commercials... and during this next topic we have an interview with a man that was comotose and aware of it... Ok caller from Seattle, WA on the line. "First time caller long time listener and I was listening to Too beautiful to Live and well it scared the bajeeberbug outta me. George "Why?" Caller. "Because I couldn't change the channel.. it was awful..." George "OK we are going to transfer this caller to Dr. Phil and by the way the person entering this post... you need to visit the Dr. too."
Having said all that its almost maybe kinda somewhat I don't know better than Frank talking about his daughter. Well the little 3 year old doesn't know the meaning of the word no - just demanded a horse for her birthday (whap whap crackle) which by the way is (flip, flip, flip) oh crap - can I say that word on the radio... you know crap... yes crap.. no my shows not crap.. but can I... (Producer to Frank come in Frank "get back on the topic).. ok X$%@! the birthdays ... ok commercial break I'll finish the story when we come back. And some how or another it takes 2 more segments to find out its his daughters birthday tomorrow...
With my luck I'll likely listen to the show again - either after Hawk Talk or midway into segment number 2 wondering why I'm listening to this and lord knows what will happen if I'm still listening while they broadcast from the bowling alley.
Next week on "Too beautiful to get mud splat on us while waiting for the bus"... live feed from the bus stop at Dicks Drive Inn and in the rain.. where I use to work and couldn't do math in my head to save myself a dime. (hey he said something close to that last night)
Honestly I will give the show a shot. But I'm not sure for how long.
Posted by: Gonefishing for life | January 09, 2008 at 04:08 PM
I think he's trying to tell us that he's on a downward trajectory from bigshot NYC radio guy for a week and a half, down to KIRO for 4 months, and then down and back to wearing the paper hat at Dick's as a thirty or forty something burger boy. The Circle of Life
Posted by: Tommy008 | January 09, 2008 at 04:23 PM
I send one IM every hour of the show (3 per show) and I'm currently batting 33% for those that are read on-air. Now last night I heard that they are getting "hundreds" of IMs, does that mean that I produce IMs of unusual quality or is it indicative of something more sinister?
I try to send one highly critical/negative IM, one neutral/random IM and one very congratulatory/"great show" type IM. I've had a neutral and a congratulatory read so far.
Honestly, I think the reason the show is becoming a turn-off is that they keep calling out the fact that they're (1) hated, or, (2) about to be hated. If you assert that people loathe you enough, eventually people really do start loathing you. If they'd just do the show without all the "OMG, people hate us" breaks it might be fairly decent for a 7-10 program. As it is, it comes across as a fully loaded passenger train headed at full speed down a track towards a bridge that's collapsed.
Now I find myself longing for the Shierisms:
- "I'm a first amendment, free speech kind of guy, but ..."
- "... my five year old Maggie Sue around whom the sun revolves."
- "I'm a second amendment, believe in gun ownership kind of guy, but ..."
- "You're listening to live and local talk and we want to thank you for that - I'm not in some fancy studio in LA nor am I some computer - some computer - some computer - just kidding! This is live and local talk."
- "I'm a fourth amendment, privacy rights kind of guy, but ..."
BTW - when Frank subbed for the Ron & Don Show he was actually in top form. I don't care much for the Frank Shiers Show but Frank as sub for R&D on New Year's Day was actually fairly decent. Part of it was he had good banter with Sean and what's her name, the R&D producer. I think he'd be perfect as lead of a zoo-crew or morning wake-up gang type show (like Bill Handel and the Mornign Crew on KFI), but as a solo gig not so much. KIRO should invest some actual energy into talent development instead of the "sink or swim" approach to programming.
Posted by: ZANZIBAR | January 09, 2008 at 05:51 PM
great post, zanzibar, and clever technique with the IM probes. I'm hoping for the best w/ young Luke. It appears that he wants to capture digital gen. via talk radio and I'm not sure that's possible, because the digital gen is also the visual gen. If he can pull it off he's a genius.
Posted by: wutitiz | January 09, 2008 at 06:46 PM
Honestly, if I were PD Arquette I would completely axe the KIRO Morning News, which is superfluous with Tony Miner's Big Story or whatever it's called now, and replace it with "Bryan Suits and the KIRO Wake-Up Gang" as a complete knock-off of the format of the Bill Handel Show on KFI-AM (you could lay off a ton of pricey staff necessary to keep the expensive morning news plugging along and probably get ratings that were no worse):
Host - Bryan Suits ... for his smarmy sarcasm (assuming he's not under an in-market non-compete?)
Sports / Co-Host - New York Vinnie ... for his gregarious laugh and rough-around-the-edges accent -- or Brock Huard ... he has a name plus there could be a fun sexual tension between Brock and Irma (below)
Newsreader - Irma Blanco ... for the sex appeal (recently laid-off co-host of the Charlie Tuna Show on LAs KBIG-FM)
Producer - Phil Van Der Vort ... for his ocean-of-calm, "oh you guys", semi-effeminate presentation style
Speaking-Role Board Op - Sean D'Amatori (sp?) ... for the youth audience, his voice is very good but makes him sound like he's 19
By themselves these guys are misfits (with 2 exceptions) but together they would be a solid gold combination.
Posted by: ZANZIBAR | January 09, 2008 at 07:42 PM
Oh, and KIRO should put 3 cameras in-studio and offer a TV simulcast of the KIRO Wake-Up Gang on the CW11 in lieu of the infomercials currently playing there during this time, a la what Armstrong & Getty do in Sacramento.
Wow - Too Beautiful To Live is really giving me a lot of time to kill thinking this stuff up ...
Posted by: ZANZIBAR | January 09, 2008 at 07:55 PM
zanzibar, you do know that your key man Bryan Suits has been hired by KFI and has moved to LA, don't you. back to square one. I think Mike Seigel's availble.
Posted by: wutitiz | January 09, 2008 at 07:56 PM
Has that ended up as a permanent gig or is he just the Frank Shiers of KFI? Wayne Resnick would be better in that time slot, Bryan Suits isn't that great as a solo act.
Not sure Mike Siegel would work out for my KIRO Wake-Up Gang, he's too "serious" - what about what's his name from KTTH who got axed?
Posted by: ZANZIBAR | January 09, 2008 at 08:09 PM
Not 100% sure about Bryan's status, but the impression I got from leaningstraightup was that it's a done deal and bryan has a show on KFI now.
If not Siegel, I still say Styble has potential. He has a good voice and unquestionable intelligence. You just would have to attach electrodes to his balls and give him a jolt when he goes on a digression.
Posted by: wutitiz | January 09, 2008 at 08:50 PM
I'd be willing to give Styble a try. According to the KIRO website they have 9 folks in front of the mic on the Morning News, plus probably another 4 behind it with ops, Assignment, etc. That's 13 employees. My KIRO Wake Up Gang would only require 5 to 6!!! How much $ could be saved?! I should write a letter.
Tonight on TBTL - the first hour is dedicated to discussing their Seattle Times vanity piece. This is like the 60-minute audio resume from night 1. In the meantime they've disabled the IM function on the website. 44 minutes until Coast to Coast ...
Posted by: ZANZIBAR | January 09, 2008 at 09:26 PM
"I have now been profiled in numerous places, including - not to brag - the New York Times. I feel like I've carved out this identity as this young, brash guy. I've been rocking this storyline of my life for 5 or 6 years."
following this gem was an 11 minute dissection of how his photograph looked in the Seattle Times
Posted by: ZANZIBAR | January 09, 2008 at 09:31 PM
Jen is infectious and Luke is creative. I'm giving it more time.
Posted by: wutitiz | January 09, 2008 at 10:59 PM
Thanks, Zanzibar. Now I don't have to actually tune in. Saved me the trouble and the boredom.
"infectious" - so you like infections, what'sup?
Well, different strokes for different folks, as they say in the Casbah.
BRING BACK HART. She and Shiers were pretty good together during the battle of the hosts(or whatever it was called).
Posted by: joanie | January 09, 2008 at 11:23 PM
I think I'm getting hooked. I hated it the first night, laughed a lot with them the second night, andtonight, I kept trying to turn them off and go to bed but couldn't quite. Don't tell anyone I told you.
Posted by: misty | January 09, 2008 at 11:45 PM
Erin Hart, and Frank Shiers would be good together in a Battle of the Posteriors.
Posted by: mons | January 09, 2008 at 11:48 PM
Well tonite while I was on my route from 6 to Midnite I didn't listen to KIRO at all... I wrote the manager on Monday nite upset about Shiers being replaced by Phil Hendrie,,, I hope he chokes on the towel of blood from the phony interview he did with the lady in New Hampshire. I like jokes, etc but turned that show off when PMS and "Heavy Flow" was mentioned...surprised me a station owned by Mormon church would go for that.
In regards to TBTL I didn't listen to it tonite either. Instead I listened to Coast to Coast and FM. and some of KOMO too as I depend on Traffic reports.
So I'm in the 27 to 54 group and goodbye KIRO...I still say Jen is going to screw Luke and she wants the host job for herself. As much as Jen is on air, it should be the Jen and Luke show. She's a producer and she should stay off the air...This show reminds me of a non sports Alise and Ian (KJR) which I don't like either...
Thankfully I get KGO and KNBR on the road...
Posted by: Mike the Driver | January 10, 2008 at 01:26 AM
He needs to stop plugging his website and repeating the name of his show: "this is Too Beautiful to Live, TBTL, the show that is likely Too Beautiful to Live, TooBeautiful toLive.com, [email protected]"
If you think of dead air as being a moment where your interest meter is 0%, that bumber is dead air. I'd sooner take a Shane Co commercial.
Also the less Jen talks the better, she harshes Luke's mellow. Maybe she would make a good host, but not in tandem with luke. She just to goddam loud. She's like the guy on SNL who has Voice Immodulation Syndrome.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | January 10, 2008 at 01:53 AM
"That picture is not of Jen- it's Darla Winkleman who used to work at KBSG, she went back to California. She was hot, world class teeth.
Posted by: salesdude | January 09, 2008 at 09:47 AM"
Their web site now has that picture 'titled' as Jen Andrews?? still maintain it's not her?
Posted by: HillBill | January 10, 2008 at 06:44 AM
BTW Andrew, driving thru your drive-thru last nite I noticed you are mumbling somewhat and I would like to remind you of your McPledge to the customers.
Enunciate correctly, it’s: DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH YOUR ORDER?
Or in the interests of PC: ¿Usted desea papases fritas con esa orden?
Posted by: andrews | January 10, 2008 at 07:51 AM
I tuned in last night late and they talked about women's back fat. They promised that on Thursday's show they would talk about whether or not single people use headboards on their beds. Maybe they will have Erin Hart on as a guest and they can all talk about her dryer cord. (thx Sparky!)
Posted by: KIRO fan | January 10, 2008 at 07:54 AM
good lord...why do you guys listen to this crap? My radio dial is capable of movement! This sounds even worse than Erin's dryer cord show.
Posted by: sparky | January 10, 2008 at 08:28 AM
Well sparkly that's a good question? In my case I'm not ready to give up on them quite yet. There's something intangible about their sometimes seemingly ridiculous banter that I can't put my finger on but feel I must stick it out a bit longer to be sure.
Certainly not the typical talk-show format, that's for sure.
Posted by: andrews | January 10, 2008 at 08:33 AM
^^^ I see you like to spend some untold amount of free time fantasizing about me. Well, not interested, sorry.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | January 10, 2008 at 09:40 AM
I like them a little better than D & R, but that isn't saying much. I don't understand why people are put on the radio who don't have good voices; speaking about the female side of the duo. It is the same with David Goldstein - I love his politics, but can't listen to the voice. Perhaps Dave Ross could give voice lessons...?
Posted by: AprilMayJune | January 10, 2008 at 09:41 AM
Now andrew calm down, I'm your sister remember; I only want the best for you in your chosen profession. mom & I are both extremely proud of you.
Posted by: andrews | January 10, 2008 at 09:45 AM
Ya I think Jen could be listenable if she learned to speak differently, with a more calm, medium tone of voice. It seems that a lot of people just assume the way they talk now is the only way they can possibly talk, which is obviously not true. Voice impersonators do amazing things with their voices, often for extended periods of time.
Phil The Bitch has a calm voice that's easier to listen to but even he still talks funny (like a bitch) and that's something that can be corrected but I just don't think it ever crosses their minds.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | January 10, 2008 at 09:47 AM
What did I do to deserve a sicko stalker?
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | January 10, 2008 at 09:49 AM
much like Mr Luke Burbank, your super intelligence just resonates!
Posted by: andrews | January 10, 2008 at 10:06 AM
I'm certain that Jen and Luke are both over 25 years old. Therefore i was rather dismayed last night upon giving their show a second listen to find them both saying "like" fairy frequently, as in "it was like really .....(insert adjective here). Now we may have a clue as to why Luke's caee path seems to on that trajectory straight from the rooftoops of Manhattand , to the third floor of KIRO and down to a ground level job at Dick's, his old employer. I'm sorry, citizens over 25, in general , should not be saying "like" as a meaningless, annoying filler, let alone those on the radio, who speak for a living. "Like" and "dude" from the mouths of those over 25, is not good. Not good at all.
Posted by: Tommy008 | January 10, 2008 at 12:40 PM
Yeah Tommy it's like Karmageddon.
karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
Posted by: VGirl | January 10, 2008 at 12:46 PM
Show?? What show? I tuned it in twice now and all they were talkin' about is what a "ground swell" they've created, how popular they're show is becoming, and other self-promoting nonsense. Where's the "show?" What they have shown me so far is beyond boring, it's unlistenable...
Posted by: Olyguy | January 10, 2008 at 12:46 PM
Has anyone here ever disliked a host when they first heard them, only to change their minds about them sometime later? I have. That's why I'm withholding judgement on Luke and his show.
Posted by: DT | January 10, 2008 at 01:36 PM
It's hilarious irony to hear hosts like Burbank or Ron and Don say the label..."news-talk"...
The last thing leaves guys "talk" about is the news.
Posted by: Catlin Capital | January 10, 2008 at 03:40 PM
aman catlin capitol. its all just a bunch of nonsence aimed at pleasing the left isnt it
Posted by: 4 more years | January 10, 2008 at 04:35 PM