Dr. Laura: there's shrewd to that shrew

(Poster: thanks nonna @ Hysterical Raisins)

Dr. Laura Schlessinger has marched triumphant back into the Seattle radio market again today after a long hiatus.

The former host on the late, not-so-great "the Buzz" has replaced the excommunicated Bryan Suits in a KVI reshuffle that puts her in the weekdaily nine-ta-noon spot.

Self-proclaimed as America's Yenta; she's the morality counselor to the middle class, a multi-millionaire values-hustler, and a very successful talk host, sharing the top of the talk heap with such moral and metal luminaries as Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

She's ace among other blonde national nutcrackers like Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, Melanie Morgan, Monica Crowley, and Judge Judy.

Like Don Imus' pending return to radio, Dr. Laura's professional life and times prove that talk radio is about bottom-line entertainment values- the high-minded bullshit about conservative or family values is morally relative only to the ratings a talent can pull.

Short of felony, a conservative can forsake any professed morals, and participate in any hypocrisy and stay on the radio- as long as he or she performs in a way that brings and keeps an audience.

Dr. Laura's life, has seen more than just your run o' the mill talk host hypocrisy- hers is a bizarre tangle of angst, meanspirit, retribution; family feuding; religious confusion; a formidable plank lodged in her backside; and wide streaks of what looks from here like sociopathy. 

She's neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist. Her doctorate is in physiology. She's licensed in California as Marriage, Family, Child Counselor.

She caught national hell last summer after she attacked military wives for being "whiners;" but that was almost immediately ecliped by her sociopath/soldier boy son Deryk, 21, who was investigated by the Army for the cartoon images of rape, murder, torture, and child molestation on his MySpace page.

His "Mom's kid" included this graf in the truly demented posting: “Yes…FUCKING Yes! I LOVE MY JOB, it takes everything reckless and deviant and heathenistic and just overall bad about me and hyper focuses these traits into my job of running around this horrid place doing nasty things to people that deserve it … and some that don’t.”

The thuggish Deryk, a Hillsdale College dropout was ID'd during the 2004 GOP convention kicking a female protester after knocking her to the floor. He was busted in Fayettville, NC a year later for underage drinking.

For years, Dr. Laura (who supports coerced sterilization, btw) trotted though the more religious talk shows (Michael Medved, Rabbi Lapin, Schmuley Boteach, Janet Parshall, PTL Club, etc.) a beaming, but hardline convert to Orthodox Judaism selling her books, and kissing the rings of the non-secular.

(photo: Corporal Schlessinger, gay Afghani warlord)

But in 2003, her religious supporters were not amused when she went on-air to renounce orthodox Judaism, saying she no longer found her adopted faith, "fulfilling."

She told listeners that while she still "considers" herself Jewish, "my identifying with this entity and my fulfilling the rituals, etc., of the entity - that has ended."

Of her conversion to Orthodox Judaism, Dr. Laura told her 12 million listeners: "I felt that I was putting out a tremendous amount toward that mission, that end, and not feeling a return, not feeling connected, not feeling that inspired."

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, the outspoken Orthodox "rabbi to the Stars," was appalled, labelling her a "fair weather Jew," he wrote: "Dr. Laura's repudiation of her Judaism ranks as some of the shallowest renunciations of personal faith in all human history. It is surely unworthy of America's self-styled moral advocate."

"I think Judaism is better off not being saddled and directly associated with Dr. Laura’s means,” he said, adding, “although she is still a Jew.”

Her friend Michael Medved, said "Laura [was] naive to think, 'gosh, I'll be the queen of the Jews.'"

She  may, according to the Jewish daily, Forward, take up Christanity:  and for some only the highest spiritual reasons: it would be  "a move that, radio insiders say, [that] would elevate her career far beyond the 300 stations that currently syndicate her show."

Welcome to Christ, Laura- opportunism has accounted for many Christian conversions and created many ministries over the millennia. 

Her daytime TV show, cancelled in 2001, was supposed to propel her into the Oprah-strata of superstardom, but it turned out to be a bust.

It got a lot of attention when it premiered, because of gay & lesbian protests of her stances on queers. She'd called gays a "biological faux pas," claimed they're inferior parents; described gay sex as "deviant;" accused gay men of being "predatory on young boys," and recommended that gays and lesbians get themselves cured through "reparative therapy."

"When an individual is not drawn to a member of the opposite sex," she said, "in biology that's called an error."

Sponsors withdrew and there were scrumptious headlines which got her some smashing ratings at first. Though gays credit their boycott for her downfall, the real story is that when the dust settled, it became obvious that her show was simply awful, few watched it,  and it went down in a few months with hardly a whimper.

(Except one of hers, of course: when, as her show was failing, she ran a full-page ad in the Gay Hollywood edition of Daily Variety, apologizing for her "poorly chosen" statements concerning homosexuality. "I deeply regret the hurt this situation has caused the gay and lesbian community." (her show was cancelled anyway).

Laura has a lot of baggage. Her public image wasn't enhanced much- especially with her religious fanbase- when a batch of nude photos surfaced in 1998 (the year she got religion) taken by Bill Ballance, the general manager of a California radio station who'd given her start in radio.

The 28-year-old married Miss Laura was having an affair with Ballance in the 1970's; she was so in love with how she looked, she asked him to take the shots later heard round the world.

Ballance, who was by then 80 yrs old, sold them to Seattle pornographer, Seth Warshavsky for $50k, and published on his porn site, ClubLove.  Dr. Laura sued, a judge upheld our sacred First Amendment rights and Laura’s perky T's & and round little A have been public domain ever since. (Gravity has since reared its ugly head again, according to sources).

(Clublove is long gone, as is Warshavsky. but before going off to prison or Poland or wherever he went, the pornographer released Laura's sweet ass to the Interweb and The Ages). See Dr. Laura naked.

In 2002, Her Kid's Mom turned out to be Not Her Mom's Kid when Dr. Laura's 77-year-old mother was found dead and decomposed in her Beverly Hills apartment just minutes away from Laura's studios. The family counselor and multi-millionaire radio personality had been estranged from her mom for years and when she died of what was later found to be natural causes, no one was around.

Comments

[sparky]

That about sums it up, Bla'M.

[abob]

Dr. Laura attracts a daily national audience of 8 million listeners. It would be insane to deny her a slot in Seattle morning radio. No other local yokel in this market comes within light years of matching her gigantic ratings.

[sparky]

Please dont use "slot" and "gigantic" in the same sentence as "Dr. Laura." blechhhhhh...

[Upton]

I know one thing, those pictures of her are downright nauseating. She's a victim of ugly trampitis, imagine how she looks now. Maybe Dori can make a play for her, a little adultery is standard fair for family values Republicans.

[abob]

Heartfelt thanks goes out to Blam for his reposting of Laura's personal tribute to female pulchritude. That reminds me...add KY to my shopping list.

Anybody who thinks nude pics of Laura are "nauseating" is either gay and/or a woman hater.

[KS]

Tom Leykis had a running feud with her in the late 90s and thus originated the phrase - shrill, shrieking shrew. Leykis is on in the evenings 9-midnight on 99.9 FM. She sounds extreme on the radio at times. Diplomacy is not her long suit, but situations that are thrown out do not necessarily merit diplomacy. There is an element of common sense to her logic - that's a tough one to swallow over here though.

The hags on the View probably work better for Sparky and Ms. J.

[abob]

Tom Leykis would gladly sacrifice his left nut for even 1/3 of Dr Laura's ratings. Seattle used to be the strongest market for Leykis. Things changed dramatically. In 2004 he got assaulted and kicked in the head outside the 5 Point Cafe near Belltown. Next, Leykis got kicked off KQBZ "The Buzz" and removed from coveted afternoon drive. Leykis is now relegated to late night tape delay on low rated KISW.
Advantage Laura. Game-Set-Match. She gets the last laugh.

[Minko]

KS,

What part of 'do as I say, not as I do'is logical, and wherein lies that element of common sense?

She is questionable entertainment at best.

[lolita]

"photo: Corporal Schlessinger, gay Afghani warlord" :o

[joanie]

Dr. Strangelove's got attitude. But then, so did Bush in 2000. Ah, the curse of good cheekbones.

[Dawn]

I believe that Doc Laura's son had a screw loose since before burning down the house. She sent him to those Christian programs to prepare him for the military service. They were to fix him after she messed him up. She raised a warrior alright.

She's old and outdated!

[sparky]

sorry Klueless..I hate the View. Wrong again! :-)
A stupider, more vapid show there has never been.
You must be locked into the notion that women are only interested in "wimmin stuff." gag.

As for Dr. Laura's popularity...all those people out there who need that authoritarian mommy ( or daddy) to scold and spank them will always be around to tune in.

Whatever floats your boat.

[Duffman]

Boy, I'm with you on that one, sparks!

[Tommy008]

Dr. Laura is one of those few women who you can hear on the radio in the far background and be driven to rage and physical anger merely by hering her chattering, without being able to distinguish invidual words. Just hearing the implied arrogance, contempt and smugness in the tone and rhythm of her blathering, selfserving drivel is enough.

[Tommy008]

In between being a shcokjock jackass, Leykis has actually given men and the occaisional woman valuable advice . Shrill, shrieking shrew Dr. Laura has never given out any advice worth more than a warm summer pitcher of three-day-old piss.

[RobP]

My heartfelt thanks to "abob" for giving me some of the biggest laughs in a LONG time. Keep it up! Maybe you'll pop up on Comedy Central.

[mark]

abob - leykis wasn't booted from the buzz, it changed format. He was #1 on the drive home for quite a while.

"Dr" Laura is a fine example of leadership for those who can't/won't think for themselves....

[katzjamr]

i agree with mark regarding tom leykis, abob's post misrepresents tom leykis tenure in seattle. We were one of the first cities to make him 1# in the ratings and he enjoyed 8 years of success on the former 'buzz'. Every successful show from bj shay to the mens room lost their airtime when the station went country.

[bunyip]

Anybody who thinks nude pics of Laura are "nauseating" is either gay and/or a woman hater.

Um, no... not if you look closely enough to see some of her withered, gangrenous soul peeking out.

[KS]

Sparky wrote: "I hate the View. Wrong again! :-)
A stupider, more vapid show there has never been. You must be locked into the notion that women are only interested in "wimmin stuff." gag."

Guilty of generalizing - due more to political leanings than wimmin stuff. The View represents the leftist philosophy and beating up on the token conservative - which typically appeals to those who are anti-conservative.

BTW - I agree wholeheartedly with the above comment about "The View" even though I know our "views" differ.

[KS]

Sparky wrote: "I hate the View. Wrong again! :-)
A stupider, more vapid show there has never been. You must be locked into the notion that women are only interested in "wimmin stuff." gag."

Guilty of generalizing - due more to political leanings than wimmin stuff. The View represents the leftist philosophy and beating up on the token conservative - which typically appeals to those who are anti-conservative.

BTW - I agree wholeheartedly with the above comment about "The View" even though I know our "views" differ.

[sparky]

Elizabeth Hasselback or beck, I dunno how she spells it, is VERY conservative. She is the one who got in an argument with Rosie O'donnel

[sparky]

bunnyip, how can you see anything with her sitting on that grizzly bear?

[abob]

Laura Schlessinger is the sexiest MILF since Shirley Jones flaunted her maternal sexuality on the Partridge Family.

[joanie]

a-boob's pin-ups: Dr. Strangelove and mama partridge...'nuf said.

[abob]

If you're a man over 40 and you were never turned on by this woman...you are clinically dead.
http://www.shirleyjones.com/