Wednesday oddems: commentary-okie; prurient interesting; seattle norwegian bon vivant; a geoduck named dick; phil the junkie; the santa anas blow from neal boortz's ass

~ Why Mexican are Democrats. Syndicated talk host Neal Boortz said recently:  "... build a double fence along the Mexican border, and stop the damn invasion. I don't care if Mexicans pile up against that fence like tumbleweeds in the Santa Ana winds in Southern California. Let 'em. You know, then just run a couple of taco trucks up and down the line, and somebody's gonna be a millionaire out of that." 

~ Commentary-okie? Being the elite critics that we are, this is our worst nightmare. It's a talk radio American Idol mixed in with political palaver, cheek, and a heavy dose of smarmy attaboy condescension from hosts, John Carlson and Ken Schram. It's a far-too-regular feature pushed by those Commentators (KVI, m-f, 9a-12p) who must be increasingly desperate for listeners. For singing on the air, callers can win prizes like dinner for two at the Bellevue Taphouse Grill, which would be punishment to most, but not even the threat of that franchised, shopping mall mediocrity discourages them. KVI is salaciously trying to appeal to far more prurient interests than mere sex. They're targeting those pathetic exhibitionists out there who think they can sing, but never get the chance to take it anywhere but the shower. It squawks out of the low-fi speakers like a hog-caller at a meat-shoot and thousands of radio fingers around the Puget Sound region simultaneously go flying for the KIRO button.

~ Memory minute: The aforementioned may the worst radio since the Chowder Hour on the Ivar's Acres of Clams Show, so thankfully short-lived in the 1950's. Seattle Norwegian bon vivant Ivar Haglund starred with an ukulele, a geoduck named Dick, a bucket of melted butter, and a talking salmon called Nettie. The show ended abruptly one day when Ivar didn't show up. They told us kids that the tide went out and Ivar wouldn't be back which started mass a tide pool phobia that still exists today.

~ No news is bad news. Air America will eliminate its news department and hourly news breaks at the end of June. According to the NY Daily News: "The decision was 'based solely on economics,' according to a staff memo from COO Scott Elberg. 'We spent the last three months looking at all the options,' his memo said. 'In the end, it didn't work.'"

~ "Generally human nature is that you don't want to be angry all the time, or depressed. In a way, that's on our side. That's the only power we have -- the power to mock them, which means you're taking the power back." At least so says Stephanie Miller in another one of those Buzzflash talk radio interviews.

~ Not a member of the club. Billo Reilly was kicked out of the Mets visitors' clubhouse over the weekend by Stadium security for not having press credentials. (Reilly apparently passed on the temptation to have Fox Security to come over and deal with the situation). According to a reporter from The Record of Hackensack (N.J.), O'Reilly complained to the security officer, “You don’t have to escort us out - we’re going.” Whereas the burly security guard said, "You bet you are, buster." MSNBC arch- rival Keith Olbermann, who regularly hangs in the clubhouse (because he has press credentials) had been there earlier, but disclaims, "I had nothing to do with it, probably."

~ Phil the Junkie? David Goldstein (KIRO Saturdays, Sundays, 7-10) is feeling heat from KIRO cohort, Phil Vandevort, who is Dori's producer during the week, but calls himself Phil the News Junkie when he moonlights on Sunday afternoons (KIRO 4-7p). The rub? Goldy forgets and calls him, Phil the Junkie.  Here's how Phil modestly self-refers in his station bio: Phil The News Junkie is an advanced hybrid of news carnivore and political free-thinker. He is genetically incapable of knee-jerk reaction, so instead he scrutinizes local, national and world events and evaluates them carefully before engaging in verbal tirades. His show reflects a unique almagam of international, local and pop culture subjects designed to challenge your personal viewpoint. He's got everything but a listening audience. We'd say: Phil, kick it up a notch. (He'd say, Blathe- fuck you!)

~The beat goes on in radio land about the thunderation by Republican Sen. Trent Lott last week declaring that the "talk radio is running the country." Conservatives, who pretty much own the medium, are pissed. But we liked what Mark Green, president of Air America, told the NY Daily News Tuesday: "What a hypocrite," he said of Lott. "When right-wing radio is fear-mongering that foreigners will blow up America unless we stay in Iraq, that's all right. But when they fear-monger about immigrants here, it's not. Sen. Lott ought to listen to Air America." Yes, he should.

~ Not sure what he means, but why does Cr-AAAZ-y BrYAn StYBLe (KIRO Sundays,10p-1a) claim to be "propagating at the speed of light?" Not sure we'd like to be a fly in the wall during that...We're not sure what Bryan is talking about half the time, which says more about our spotty attendance at the Normal School than anything about the Styblehead... here's a pic of Bryan our ace commenter Mercifurious bought from a guy hanging around the KIRO parking lot.

~

Comments

[Duffman]

In my opinion Carlson & Schram (the 'Ron & Don' of KVI) need to go away and Carlson needs to be on in 'drive time' and cover local topics (especially politics). Therein lies his appeal. Like him or not he does have a good 'feel' for local politics and he can generate a good amount of interest in his view points (for or against). For me they just can't compete with Dave Ross and where as I would listen to Carlson in the afternoon I now hardly ever listen to him. Bryan Suits has a unique sense of humor and is good but not in his current time slot.
Dave Ross is still the one to beat in my estimation.

[Brian]

How do you Get Styblehead off your front porch????????
PAY HIM FOR THE PIZZA!
HOOTY HOO !!!!!!!!!
And as as always !
Duffman you DoA Man
God Bless Ted Nuggent !
My Vote is for Fred Thompson !
A New one : Give Phil the news Junkie Stybleheads 3 hours on sunday night.
Styblehead radio is more than just bad it's plan wrong !!!!!

[Brian]

HAy Duff!
try the Lionel show air america
he is on are time 6:00 am to 9:00.
the live streaming station is
www.wwrl1600.com
are try the Scott Cox show good wacky moring radio out of Bakersfield ca. his show is on at 8:00am to 10:00 am live streaming radio on www.kernradio.com

[sclub]

Why do Styble & Phil still have shows? Hello Bonneville?

[mark]

"Air America will eliminate its news department and hourly news breaks at the end of June"

wonderful, more time for more of the same commercials.

[mrogi]

New Animal planet show- "Propagating with Bryan."

[sarge]

Now we know what Styble means by "With the Space Needle at my back?"

[Liz]

I was "fortunate" enough to catch "The Frank Shiers Show" last night, and what a conundrum he did present. Hard gritty news like the war in Iraq, or immigration? Nah, the horrendous personal dilemma that he and his wife and their beloved Veruca Salt (on whom the sun sets and rises) had made a "commitment" (Yep even little 4 year Veruca was involved in the "commitment." ) To attend a birthday party.

Well, gosh golly, doesn't another friend of Frank's call him to invite him to attend a baseball game, but not just in any seats, actually "in a suite."

Poor Frank, and the big ethical question. Do they need to attend the already committed to birthday party, OR could he bow out and attend the suite at the baseball game "with rich people."

A few callers were kind enough to offer suggestions to Frank. Perhaps others here would like to tell him where to go.

Chances are "Tiger Beat" hasn't gone to press this month and perhaps their adivce columnist could help you with this quandary.

However, however bear in mind by choosing the ball game certainly sends the message to SaraLee that committments in life can always be broken, if something better comes along.

[Duffman]

...and Frank lest you forget: I seriously doubt that one of the last things you say/think before you check out of this planet is 'I wish I had attended more Mariner games' !!!

[mrogi]

Ok, Liz, I'll take up the challenge.
Talk about self-congratulation! That topic was just a way Frank could remind the rest of us how honorable he is and tell us how much integrity he has for "keeping his word" just like his dear, dead papa raised him. Unlike the rest of us, you're a great daddy, Frank, and morally superior. Thanks for filling us in on why and by how much.
I don't like baseball, but I would have gone to the game in a New York minute, just for the beer, you asshole. Sara Lee lives her life w/you,(a fact she'll be soon trying to change, if she is half as smart as you say she is) but free beer is a commodity rarer than pearls and certainly more important than somebody else's kids birthday party.
And one more thing, SHUT UP! you condescending prick.

[Duffman]

mrogi: excellent in-depth analysis...you're right; beer trumps EVERYthing...even your reasoning, eh...have another..

[Ryder]

I like rabbits

[sarge]

Mrogi, you da man. BTW, Bla'm, seeing Styble's picture, it's no wonder he lives in a batcave--doesn't look like much propagatin' going on there.

[mercifurious]

Actually captured that from Styble's myspace page - just before he deleted it.

Why oh why would Styblehead ever delete such a fancy-pants photo of himself - posed so thoughtfully w/ a backdrop video tapes? Probably the same reason Styblehead wishes he had not sent me profane emails

But Bla'Ms version - buying it off a KIRO garage freak - has a better ring to it, so I'll go with it. Let's just say that I put out the flag on my condo balcony & Mark Felt came to the rescue.