Blathering 2006: the best, the worst, the fair-to-middling: PART ONE.

IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES. Radio, in 2006, has suffered ratings declines, lost the confidence of Wall Street, and that of some of it's largest conglomerating investors.

There's a death watch on, with media vultures watching the breast of talk radio for its last heaves. Frankly, this ain't the first time it's condition has been pronounced terminal, and probably not the last.

Meanwhile, BlatherWatch has thriven like a little girl skipping 'neath a burgeoning mushroom cloud. By having cast ourselves in the role of radio know-it all, we crammed ourselves into a silly little niche than that no one else would cover, and managed to scrape together a small clutch of stalwarts who cheer us on. (Cheering on is all we need, now that we've qualified for food stamps).

THANK YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU to the tippers, the sources, the insiders, the threep doats- whose secreted, sensational and accurate information not only always checks out, but have made us more than just another screedblog or Air America fansite. Special kudos and accolades to Mike Webb, Michael Medved, Frank Shiers, the Ron, the Don; Dori Monson, Bryan Styble, Bryan Suits, Rabbi Daniel Lapin, Tim Eyman, Tom Delay, Tom Clendening, Dan Sytman, Dave Boze, George W. Bush, John

Carlson, Kirby Wilbur, Rev. Ken Hutcherson, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Lou Pate, for just being who you are.

TWO SHOWS THAT COULD REDEFINE SEATTLE TALK RADIO: The Commentators (KVI m-f 9a-12p)- dubbed 'The Tators' by Blather-readers- is conservative talk vet John Carlson and KOMO TV editorial blabfly Ken Schram arguing like the Jesuit schoolboys they are. It can be compelling radio, if the two aren't agreeing with each other (which happens too often). Schram's no liberal- he's a contrarian/libertarian with a penchant for speaking in tabloid headlines who pisses people off and will say just about anything to anyone. Carlson is a doctrinaire conservative, sharp debater, and a nice boy who gives the conservative KVI listeners (unused to such discourse) someplace homey to go when Schram gets outrageous. Their media clout gets them gets no one else gets.

They're not our cup of matè- we don't like the frat boy personae, and the schtick of studied ignorance and uncouthiness of Ron & Don (KIRO m-f, 4-7p). But they're bringing a quirky mix of lifestyle issues, local news, politics, and their wacked-out FM personalities in a PM drive Smothers Brothers routine that's addicting a wider audience than the usual crowd who have been waning of late. The broadness of their appeal has a lot to do with Jennifer Andrews' excellent producing. She throws out a wide net for guests and up-to-the-minute topics that stops fingers from wandering the radio buttons. And when our fingers stop wandering, we pay attention.

These shows have both broken out of the traditional talk format- with the sluggishness of radio listenership, new formats may be what's needed to perk stuff up.

BEST SYNDICATED TALKER: We love Rachel Maddow (KPTK m-f, 3-5p). Her smart, funny show is in a tight, and well-produced newscast format- substantive when it needs to be, and hilarious the rest of the time. The substance part might have something to do with Maddow being an honors graduate of Stanford University, and the first openly lesbian activist to win a Rhodes Scholarship. She's pretty funny on her own, but the hilarity part has mightily to do with sidekick, Kent Jones, an Emmy Award winning, 5-year fake news writer from the Daily Show. Maddow's educational bona fides and her lesbianic proclivities would qualify her for a Demonic Award by the Concerned Women of America. But she's so darned likable- once described as a "universal donor of good chemistry,' positive and full of good will towards men, even those vagina-less, Fox-lipped women of the afternoon might not demur.

WORST TOPIC OF THE YEAR: Dori Monson with his "All art is nonsense."

BRILLIANCE OF FORESIGHT CUP: To Tom Clendening for hiring David Goldstein, and Ron Reagan. For promoting Tina Nole, and Jennifer Andrews; for firing the Styblehead, and The Mother Truckers.

THE WHAT-THE-HELL-WERE-YOU-THINKING AWARD? To Tom Clendening for pushing Frank Shiers down our throats; ending live overnight radio; and for letting Dori Monson punk your ass.

HELL HATH NO FURY HONORABLE UNMENTIONABLE: In a perfectly innocent post, BlatherWatch referred to Irene Song, as Stefan Song-Sharkansky's 'Significant Other" and said, as we so often have, he had no visible means of support. We'd been reporting- as we continue to report- that Stefan's Sound Politics blog has long been rumored to be funded by the state GOP (what else do they have to do with their money?) or some mysterious sugary paternal entity. We got a fearsome scolding from Mrs. Song-Shark calling us a sexist, (she's a woman) a racist (she's Asian); and revealed that she (a lawyer) was Stefan's very visible means of support, thank you very much. What's more: SHE IS HIS WIFE- NOT HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER!! Obviously, If we weren't so racist, and sexist we would have grokked Stefan's house-hubbiness just by looking at him. (that's the visible part) We dutifully Blatherblogged the weird incident and one of our favorite commenters, Lazy Murrow wrote

OUR FAVORITE COMMENT OF 2006:

    Oh, the Shark, babe,
    has such teeth, dear,
    Oh no wait, that's
    Just his wife.

    He's a blowhard
    'neath a skirt, dear,
    which explains his
    so-called life.

MOST CREATIVE COMMENTS: We have to salute to Tommy 008 who wrote a novella and serialized it in our comment threads. It was a real pot boiler, and followed closely by not only our readers and those in local radio about whom it was obviously about- but also by a spittle of literary agents and TV producers hoping The Tommy would sign up.

READER OF THE YEAR: goes to "Joanie" a bodacious, opinionated, and literate liberal of the old school who is a prolific commenter; sharp commentator, lives in Seattle, and never lets us get away with missteps or misspellings. She even throws us a few bucks once in a while.
~

THERE'S MUCH MORE COMING IN THE BLATHERBEST OF 2006- STAY TUNED...

Comments

[The Anti KIRO]

The Ron and Don show can "redefine talk radio is Seattle" ????

Give me a break. Do you listen to that show? These guys are the friends you don't want to have...they chew your ear off about nonsense....they dangerously act as if they know and understand the serious topics of the day...and sadly they exploit charities for the simple purpose of boosting their ratings.

Bad!

[joanie]

Well, since I'm following in the deserving footsteps of Sparky, I feel honored, Michael.

Now, excuse me while I go look up the meaning of "bodacious."

BTW, Sparky, any way to turn this into a revenue stream?

[joanie]

One more thing (as always . . . ), you do not have permission, Michael, to go on vacation ever again.

:)

[Liz]

Congrats, Joanie.

[Just bad radio]

the worst radio show on the Am band 710 Am Kiro The one the only!! Mc Styblehead the lowest rated show in Kiro History
The Styblehead its not funny! Its Was Just plan wrong !
Stay away from the Mc Styblehead cool/Aid

[mercifurious]

It's funny, because as with everyone else reading JBR's work, I too react with a big "WHA?"

But a small part of me kept saying "Sweet Cthulu, where have I heard this non-Iambic pentameter before?"

Figured it out:

Dr. Bronner's Pure Castile Soap Labels!

"Our Brothers Teach of the Moral ABC mason Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free!"

"We win Free Speech OK! With 10 men & full-truth, our only God, we rally-raise-unite All-One! All-One!"

"So, help teach the whole Human race, the Moral ABC's All-One-God-Faith, lightning-like, for we're All-One or none! All-One!!"

"ENJOY BODY RUB TO STIMULATE BODY-MIND-SOUL-SPIRIT AND TEACH THE ESSENE MORALABC UNITING ALL FREE IN THE SHEPHERD-ISRAEL'S GREAT ALL-ONE-GOD-FAITH "

Amen Dr. Bronner

[sparky]

I am more than happy to hand over the crown, joanie. It was beginning to weigh heavily on my golden locks.

I'm keeping the mink coat and the car, however.

[Martin Shores]

I have to agree about the Tators and Ron & Don. Something new has to happen in talk radio or they are just going to go away. Rachel Maddow is another example of a new format that really works. She proves you don't have to have callers, if your format is compelling enough.I have listened to talk radio since it started in the 90s, and I'm getting bored with it. I am a pretty conservative guy, but I'm tired of all the conservatism for conservatism's sake and harsh opposition to anything that doesn't come up to snuff ideologically. The conservative straight jacket of talk radio has come up looking pretty stupid sometmes with the implosion of the Bush Administration and new ideas need to be discussed. I am not and never will be a liberal, but I am finding myself listening more and more to Dave Ross, Thom Hartmann and Rachel Maddow than Rush, Sean and Dori.

[sparky]

Welcome to the light, Martin.

[Tommy008]

Thanks for my award, Michael. Hey- here's a thought. How about offering Karel, from KGO weekends, the old Mike Webb Show slot. I was impresed during the recent James Brown coverage that while Taliaferro was indulging in a hagiography rather than a biography of the man, simply because Brown was black, Karel, on the other hand, brought up his wifebeating and druguse as well as some other faults that he claimed to know about through his personal interactions with Brown during his earlier career in the music business. We need less PC, such as Webb represented, and more independent commentary. Teh raucous Karel would show up the Shiers program to be the asinine snoozefest it really is. I don't care whether he phones it in or not. I think he already phones his show in to SFO from LA.

[NoBS]

And don't forget the expose Blatherwatch did on the Gregg Hersholt and Jane Shannon no love fest. Glad you had the guts to write about something every one in the newsroom knows. Those two do not like eachother at all. Gregg took the brunt of the posts, but Jane is incredibly insecure.

Since your post about how much the two lothe eachother, word is that Gregg has reformed himself a bit. Is a little less obnoxious about his views. Jane hasn't changed a bit, still doesn't do a thing other than bring her voice to work.

[blathering michael]

Hey NoBS: thanks for remembering. drop me a line at [email protected] I have an important question for you- discretion assured, of course...

[sclub]

Karel has too many personal problems which he forgets to leave at home. Not very entertaining.

[sparky]

Oh I think Karel is a hoot...especially when he sings along in falsetto to his bumper music. The thing is, he is unique,,,there is nobody else like him on the air and he brings a lot of passion to his work. I think that would be a breath of fresh air to talk radio around here. Sure he goes off on tangents about his personal life, but he is usually quite genial and I like listening to him. Sure beats Dr. Strangelove who comes after him.

[fire Shiers/hire Karel!]

Karel's personal problems? perhaps? Maybe they bother you more than what they bother me, which is very little, but let's don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. What we have now with The Shiers Experience is an anathema and intolerable- an anal, controlling, passive/ aggressive ignoramus and psuedo-intellectual (Piaget my ass), who condescends and talks down to his listeners, callers and guests.

[Brianne]

A note to Just Bad Radio: Learn to spell and punctuate! Remedial grammar, maybe?

And to Blathering Michael: It's is a contraction for it is, rather than the possessive its. You've done that two days in a row.

[fire Shiers/hire Karel!]

JBR- Styble in for Frank tonight-9-12

[Bill Larsen]

If KIRO was serious about WANTING to get ratings they should dump Ron and Don and track down Jim Althoff and put him in that time slot. Put Lionel on at night, from where and whenever he broadcasts from, and do something, I don't know exactly what, with Dori Monson. I've liked Dori in the past but when he started going rightwing more and more-- I had to tune out. I have to admit my favorite new talk show is currently the Young Turks who I have to listen to online on their website 'cause that's just too early for me. Use to hate Randi Rhodes, now I can't live without her--weird...

[AprilMayJune]

Ditto:

Oh I think Karel is a hoot...especially when he sings along in falsetto to his bumper music. The thing is, he is unique,,,there is nobody else like him on the air and he brings a lot of passion to his work. I think that would be a breath of fresh air to talk radio around here.

[joanie]

Tommie, since when is Webb PC? Don't get that one . . .

Mike Malloy is back on KPTK 11-2. Anybody listen?

I think your nostalgia for Althoff may be misplaced . . . not all old things are new again. Have you even heard him in years?

Fireshiershirekarel: ...The Shiers Experience is an anathema and intolerable- an anal, controlling, passive/ aggressive ignoramus and psuedo-intellectual (Piaget my ass), who condescends...

In a nutshell!

BTW, just saw the video of Bush crying about Jeb's defeat. I'm always behind but it was amazing. If anybody else missed it . . . and Randi's segment with Dr. Justin Frank talking about Bush's breakdown Scroll down to Show Sound clips.

Sorry to be so behind the times . . . but somebody might be interested in this.

[fire Shiers/hire Karel!]

being anti-straight white male (why do you think Erin Hart thought she could get away with talking about "white boys" in this town)? and pro "minorities can do know wrong" mythology is the basis of Seattle PC. Webb is the poster boy for PC in this town. PC is a code of the left not of the right.

[joanie]

Is that right, Tommie? Gets confusing. Shouldn't one say, "Seattle PC" then?

[lukobe]

The first hit on Google for "Seattle PC" (in the sense of "political correctness"): http://www.adversity.net/Cincinnati_Race_Riots/Opinion_SeattlePDorPC.htm

Forgot how long ago the Mardi Gras riots were..

[lukobe]

oops, the link cut off

try this

http://tinyurl.com/tsrpn

[Steve]

Saddam is Dead, Yahooooooooooo

[Bummyl]

Does Jennifer Andrews produce for both KVI and KIRO?

[fire Shiers/hire Karel!]

yaaay Saddam is dead! (noisemakers and horns) I give W credit for the demise of Saddam. Fair is fair. Saddam had bought off France, China, Russia and Germany with his financial favors to them, and since a favorable U.N. vote toward him and against invasion was bought and paid for, he thought Bush wouldn't dare invade...... and good riddance to the piece of garbage. As far as Dr. Justin Frank goes, I listened and he confirmed what I thought- that Bush was weeping because his family dynasty plan had been wrecked by the bastardboy of his sons, W., who has now ruined the political chances for Jeb, the son he truly revered, as opposed to the black sheep, W. I was shocked to hear Dr. Frank claim that old man Bush really lives in fear of Barbara Bush, and that if he ever left her, "she would have him murdered".

[lukobe]

I don't like capital punishment and find myself, now that it has happened, disliking that it happened to Saddam Hussein. Not that I don't think he deserved to die. I am not sad he died, or even that he was actively killed. I just don't like all this fake solmenity and "due process" crap. Far better would have been a couple of bullets a la Ceaucescu or Mussolini.

[joanie]

Yes, FSHK, that shocked me too. I don't agree with it, do you? First of all, he'd never leave her. Takes a kind of timid guy to be with someone like her to begin with. He must have been attracted to her moxie . . . which, after a few years, turned into sadism. No one can tell me she was ever nice.

Men! You are so easily taken in. . .

[lukobe]

It's a human thing, not a male thing.

[Lazy Murrow]

Wow, "best comment" two years in a row. I'm honored

[joanie]

A Cartoon from Harpers

[Mercifurious is Dead]

Inaccuracy Award 2006: Mercifurious

[sparky]

Most Unoriginal Posts Award 2006: it's a TIE, Ladies and Gentlemen!! Between........

Oh maybe I will wait to see if Bla'M already has this covered. If not, I will add them later.

But I bet you can fill in the blanks yourselves....

[Dana]

"Dr. Frank claim that old man Bush really lives in fear of Barbara Bush, and that if he ever left her, "she would have him murdered".

She looks like she could do it, too, and with her bare hands. I'll bet she could snap him in half like a dry twig.

[sparky]

I think she uses those pearls like num-chucks.

In one of Al Franken's books, he relates a tale of when he and Babs were both in first class on an airplane...it is hilarious. What a poor excuse for a former First Lady. While Lady Bird Johnson went on to promote the environment, Rosalin Carter helped build homes for Habitat for Humanity, and even Nancy Reagan kept her finger in the anti-drug movement, all after their husbands were out of office, what the hell has Babs done?