Your self-sacrificing night-crawler has been on an indefinite (I believed eternal) hiatus from late-night KIRO-blather. Aside from one listen to trucker-talk and their syndicated talk/advertisement-netherworld, I've been giving the Seattle AA diaspora (KPTK) my primary attention.
But upon hearing that Styblehead Boast-to-Boast (AKA "DJ Not Found?") had been brought back from the dead for one night only (*see below) to cover the impending snow storm, I decided to be the canary in the KIRO overnight coal-mine - at least one last time.
Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster I wasn't actually stuck in a car during the supposed storm - exposed to a natural disaster far worse: The resurrected Styblehead. Had I been, authorities would have found me with a bad-case of rigor mortis - rescued only eventually by a carbon monoxide-induced sweet-death.
How bad was it? It was the following sandwich of badness:
It was just this bad.
I cringed through a 15 minute Stybleboast about how he once "Disproved
Dristan". Apparently after viewing one-too-many Dristan ads showing
" Chicago winter" tests, Styblehead went on a brisk Styblewalk in the dead of said Chicago
winter. Much to the chagrin of late-night radio listeners everywhere,
Styble survived - and later found out that he had walked through "the
worst Chicago
winter ever" - thus disproving the severity of said Dristan test winter. All facts
in this rant were of course the sole property of Styblehead, inc.
It was just this bad.
To make over-heated fecal-matters worse, Styblehead breached all boundaries of the 1st Amendment, reaching an all-time talk-radio low - his neocon theology rants included - with this bile:
"I think Van Halen was a much better band with Sammy Haggar than with David Lee Roth"
Blasphemer! Infidel! I have one word for you: "UNCHAINED!"
Cthulu reserves a special afterlife damnation for all those who in any way appreciate or condone Van Halen with that abhorrant Bette Midler drag-act on vocals.
(I'm just sayin' what everybody's thinkin'!)
And what rock did these Styblehead Boast-to-Boast disciples crawl out of? Mysterious hybrid orcs - possibly Glenn Beck fans - evacuated their caves & called-in with praises for their foul demigod. Some unintentional comedy arrived when several callers OPENLY aired their
grievences - nay, hatred - against KIRO over the Midnight Radio
Network. More untintentional comedy followed when Styblehead tried to relieve their angst by claiming he had
once discussed St.Thomas Aquinas with a trucker. Again,
relying on Styblefacts, inc.
I felt like giving Styblehead a big
welcome/goodbye on behalf of the blatherwatch nation, and attempted to call-in, but was put on hold
indefinitely (eternaly). After our
last exchange, I really shouldn't be suprised.
Conclusion: Upon reminiscing about the glory days of overnight Styblehead, I was confronted with grim reality: In the overnight radio race for worst-ever broadcast between Styblehead and Trucker-talk, we have a tie.
* Styblehead claimed that his show's demise was just a KIRO "re-scheduling", and that his return (nearly two months later for only one night) was also due to KIRO "re-scheduling". But of course we all know that this is a big pile of Styblehead's favorite word - CRAP.
A bigger spin I have not heard since Faux News tried changing the transcript of O'Reilly's anti-troop "Malmedy" debacle
Bryan Styble R.I.P., 2006-2006
(until Seattle's next snow storm)
After 2 months of trucker radio - I miss Styble and his semi-psychotic ramblings.
Seriously - it's been about as good as listening to Tony Snow re-runs from 2003. It's crap!
I'm not saying Styblehead is my first choice - but he's live and local - and better than say Frank Shiers or listening to the finer points of how to not get caught throwing water bottles full of piss out of your semi.
So please, bring back Styble. Yes, I'm serious.
Posted by: spambutcher | December 01, 2006 at 04:28 AM
Mercifurious is Dead
You and Michael were wrong, plain and simple.
Go back to your blog and wipe carefully.
Styble brings a great angle to a city with an otherwise pathetic offering of overnight material.
Posted by: Mercifurious is Dead | December 01, 2006 at 05:26 AM
I gotta say, trucker radio is still worse.
KIRO has GOT to get it together.
Posted by: BRS | December 01, 2006 at 06:18 AM
Really I just dont get it? the over baked brain The Styblehead had the worst ratings in Kiro710am history . So Iam thinkin the Syblehead must be dating Tom Twin sister again to try and get his one night of fame it was just heavy breathing and Boast to Boast !
Posted by: Brian | December 01, 2006 at 06:18 AM
The cute R.I.P. tactic at blatherwatch has lost all credibility.
Frankly we should shortly see:
R.I.P. Blatherwatch 2004-2006
Posted by: Mercifurious is Dead | December 01, 2006 at 08:17 AM
You dead MF, that is heresy surpassed only by our leader's state of deniall. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster forgive your damned soul....
Posted by: Fremont | December 01, 2006 at 09:33 AM
I agree. RIP blatherpussbrains 2004-2006. Go pick your scabs somewhere else...
Posted by: John Rogstad | December 01, 2006 at 10:19 AM
Ah yes, they lost the election and now we have 2 years of troll posts to look forward to....
Posted by: sparky | December 01, 2006 at 10:41 AM
A Christmas Story- now that I'm over my explosive laughter about flying bottles of piss, I've decided to write this short parable about appearances over substance in talk radio. Sometimes a talk radio host will actually be nicer than he seems on air, or have a heart when he projects heartlesness, and viceversa. A group of morons tried to claim that this was true about Lou Pate earlier this year, but I'm certain that Pate is as mean, small and nasty as he sounds. I believe that Rush actually is nicer than he tries to seem on air, and does actually have a heart. Once Tom Leykis, a liberal, admitted on the air that when Rush and Tom were both at the same station, Rush offered Tom a loan to cover some financial problems he was having. I've heard other good things about the private Rush. Leykis, the liberal, on the other hand is a narcissistic selfish bastard who, when other celebrities were donating money to Katrina victims, was bragging about profiting off new investments in hurricane-related stocks. So, to paraphrase Savage- everything isn't Republican bad/Democrat good. It's not that simple. ok, now back to my attacks and insults.
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 01, 2006 at 11:47 AM
When Leykis was told by a caller that it was ok to profit from the hurricane stocks, as long as he donated some money to the Katrina victims as well, Leykis did a slick bit of rationalizing, saying that he wasn't donating anything because he would be paying plenty in taxes on his lucre. Let 'em eat taxes, I guess.
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 01, 2006 at 12:07 PM
Mercifurious is Dead is simply a blather "mouth" for Gary the nit-wit talk show host wannabe at KIRO. Gary is the snake, the mole...the rat that leaks all to Blathering Michael
I would not be surprised if that IDIOT Brian in Lacey is also part of that ignoramus crowd.
R.I.P. Blatherwatch 2004-2006
Posted by: Mercifurious is Dead | December 01, 2006 at 05:49 PM
Frank Shiers has to be the laziest talk show host in the country. Tonight he's going to be talking about frisking people coming into Quest Field. Dave Ross or Ron and Don have already covered this- I know becsaue I listened whie it was talked to death. The topic doesn't deserve more than one shift of discussion, if that. A few topics are, but this isn't one of them.Shiers, as usual, instead of doing some work and coming up with his own topic, is piggybacking on someone else's topic and acting like a parasite attached to the underbelly of Big Fish KIRO. Dude, get off your ass and come up with your own topics!
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 01, 2006 at 09:07 PM
You know you're doing something right when someone uses you're impending demise as a nom de guerre.
I really don't care how "live or local" Styblehead is. He could be Yokel McBallardson with the greatest overnight show ever, but once he uses these accursed words - game over:
"I think Van Halen was a much better band with Sammy Haggar than with David Lee Roth"
That brings you in an even tie with truckers - Styblehead's lucky it didnt pull him in the lead.
Pro-lifers are allowed to be single-issued against McCain and Gulianni. I'm allowed to be single-issued about Styblehead and Van Halen.
Fair's fair
Posted by: mercifurious | December 01, 2006 at 10:32 PM
Mercifurious is Dead is simply a blather "mouth" for Gary the nit-wit talk show host wannabe at KIRO. Gary is the snake, the mole...the rat that leaks all to Blathering Michael
Again in my best Schwarzenegger accent:
Das a goot one
It's almost as good as your stupid theory that KIRO can predict the weather (to the day), 2 months in advance.
Because this is the only scenario that would verify Styblehead's claim that he was being RESCHEDULED back on Oct 12th
Definitions are important.
Reschedule: assign a new time and place for an event;
("time" being the operative word here)
Some salt & garnish with your crow?
Posted by: mercifurious | December 01, 2006 at 10:49 PM
Tommy, two things:
Leykis was very honest about his stock ventures years and years ago . . . he was telling his audience that he was profiting from corporate greed. But he wasn't gloating. Somehow I understood him to be trying to kind of warn people that Wall Street and the rise in stock prices was coming at the expense of the average American.
When he started in radio, he still sounded kind of vulnerable and normal at times. Now, he's got a pretty thick layer of arrogance and nastiness that I don't find appealing at all.
And I went down to the center - another Bite of . . . experience - just to see him at the KING booth. (I think it was KING>) He was pretty approachable, kind of shy, and a nice guy in person. Long time ago.
Last, don't you think Frank might be having trouble finding new topics? He's on the air an awful lot for a second-tier host!
Posted by: joanie | December 01, 2006 at 11:05 PM
Leykis was a better, nicer person 10 years ago, that's true enough, but I'm talking about the current Tom, A MULTIMILLIONAIRE who by his own admission doesn't even need his current 7 figure salary, or any salary, to live a beautiful life for the rest of his years. Forgetting about his hurricane-related company stock investments, there's something sick about a guy who boasts to and belittles a caller about the fact that he can have the best medical doctors over at his house on an oncall basis if he has any problems, and is unwilling to contribute a dime to Katrina victims. But that's just me.
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 01, 2006 at 11:56 PM
Well, then, he's really hardened inside and out. Wonder what it is that does that to people? Do you think that consistently playing the curmudgeon eventually turns you into one?
Posted by: joanie | December 02, 2006 at 12:51 AM
I think in Tom's case, he was simply too small a man to be given so much wealth. He reminds me of my Republican neighbor who through s series of fortunate breaks, some work, and loans from his parents, was able to buy and eventually pay off a 43 foot yacht. When I was on speaking terms with him, I went out on the lake a few times with him , in the boat. It was embarrassing the way he would puff up like a blowfish, and play the big man on the yacht over lesser boats, and various folks on the docks we visited. Leykis has certainly worked harder for his money than my ass of a neighbor, but there was also an element of luck that allowed him to get the big radio salary which formed the basis of his fortune, and enabled him to make significant investments. His particular radio shtick (which he developed late in his career, after ditching the more legit one that wasn't working) just happened to click with the times-there are plenty of talented radio guys who's shtick was ten years too late or too soon. Of course at the core of Leykis'es hubris is his denial of any element of luck in his success. When the big money came for him, he used his wealth to belittle people, and feel superior to them, as he psychicly isolated himself from his "lessers"(that would be his callers and listeners) in a kind of ivory tower of judgemental, callous superiority. The money has turned him into a harsh, discompassionate, bitter old bastard without the slightest bit of empathy for the unfortunate.
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 02, 2006 at 04:07 AM
Mercifurious
You are a DEAD man with no relevancy.
Enjoy picking your nose and listening to trucker radio.
Posted by: Mercifurious is Dead | December 02, 2006 at 07:15 AM
I see that Mercifurious is dead , Has been riding the small bus with the Styblehead But its sound like your chin strap is too tight the holds on to your white helmet thats on your pointed head
and you have been drinking the
Stybleheads cool aid again too!
HOOTY HOO!
Oh ya! you Savage ya !
chill out , when you get too your apt next door to the Styblehead,
( Western state hosp) take off your black soxs you have had on for the past five days and put your feet in the small round pool you share with the over baked brain the STYBLEHEAD!
Posted by: Brian | December 02, 2006 at 09:01 AM
Okay, I gotta ask....WHO is the HairyGaryBehindTheGlass talk show wannabe? Gimme a real name and bio., plz....
Posted by: Fremont | December 02, 2006 at 10:18 AM
And there we have it, T-8...money is power, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Posted by: Fremont | December 02, 2006 at 10:22 AM
I caught a bit of the "frisking show."
I think that Frank is doing this to death in hopes that he "will" get frisked.
But on the upside, we didn't hear a soliloquy about how his kid brushes her teeth, or how the baying of police dogs makes him manic.
Posted by: Liz | December 02, 2006 at 10:39 AM
I thought that Gary was the best part of Pate's show
Posted by: Rich | December 02, 2006 at 10:49 AM
Can you imagine what Dori Monson would become, if he was making seven figures, like Leykis? "Insuffereable' would have his pic next to it in the dictionary. Wait a minute, it already does.
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 02, 2006 at 10:52 AM
You took the words right off the tip of my tongue while reading your post, Tommie. Fits 710DORI with every single word.
I remember going through marriages which lasted about ten minutes and weight loss that "I'll never gain back!" with him until it became all put-down, all-sex all-the-time. Another host that reminds me a little of Tom is Mitch in the morning. Probably not too many here listen to the guy. I used to because there was a time I loved KJR sports talk.
And to this necromanian Mercy is Dead ghoul, go away.
Posted by: joanie | December 02, 2006 at 11:50 AM
C'mon, who is Gary?
Posted by: Fremont | December 02, 2006 at 12:15 PM
The point at which you noticed Leykis had gone to all putdown and all sex radio was just after the week where,behind the scenes , by his own admission,Tom made a deliberate decision to change his shtick, because intelligent discussion radio wasn't giving him big ratings. This was all calculated and deliberate, not some gradual evolution into a sex/shock/putdown show.
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 02, 2006 at 12:57 PM
I guess you gotta give 'em what they want if you're going to be top tier . . . works for him, doesn't it.
Do you still listen to him?
Posted by: joanie | December 02, 2006 at 01:40 PM
I've got Leykis pared down to a nice hour or two a week- his new winter schedule for me. By the way , being from Seattle I'd be intersted in knowing an outsiders view of our Metro bus drivers. It just seems that we have more than our fair share of goofball drivers. What is with these surly misfits jacking around in Metro driver's seats, acting like they're above it all, are mentally somewhere else and don't think they should have to respond to the peon passengers. One geekish guy with muttonchop whiskers refused to say anything in response to my polite elementary question about his route, until I repeated it slowly and loudly like I was talking to a problem child, which I actually was. Hey Metro drivers- you just drive a damn bus, like Ralph Cramden, for Christ sakes. If you don't want to deal with the public , do something else.
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 02, 2006 at 06:29 PM
Tommie, I'm a native Washingtonian although not born in Seattle, definitely spent the majority of my life here. I do have a metro story of my own:
Many years ago I was busing downtown and the bus was about a quarter full. It was middle of the day and not too many people were riding.
A handicapped person in a wheelchair spoke out that she needed the next stop. The driver ignored her. He was going to just keep driving. As he neared the stop, he did not move over into the right lane. The woman called out again and still the driver did not answer her. I was sitting close to the front and said quite loudly, "she needs to get off the bus." I saw him look into his rear-view mirror at me, scowl, and change lanes at the last minute to let her off.
I couldn't believe that. I have in my time called the bus company to both complain and compliment. But, this was when I was considerably younger and just didn't do those things at that time.
I guess things haven't changed much. I can tell you that the day I quit working downtown and no longer had to take the damn daily bus was one of the best days of my life. It was such a relief.
Having said all that, I think driving a bus must be one of the hardest jobs around. Not just the driving but having to be nice all the time to some probably very surly people. It takes a lot of patience.
Posted by: joanie | December 02, 2006 at 09:57 PM
Let's put it this way.. Anything is better than Trucker Radio! I would be more entertained by Radio Spirits! Trucker Radio has to GO!
Posted by: Duke | December 02, 2006 at 11:58 PM
I think with all the adds-nausum Dori is trying his best to make 7 figures. I do agree with Joanie Mitch is too much. The Gas man is still a real pro in that format.
Posted by: Rich | December 03, 2006 at 08:44 AM
Joanie, to be honest, I haven't notices a lot of nasty or surly people on Seattle's buses. They have them in other cities to be sure, and of course some of them here. I think that's just the excuse the Metro drivers and management here use There's a "corporate culture" thing going down at the bus barns, that's generating these "arrogant/above the peon passengers"' bus drivers. There's just too many of these "i'm all that" type of clowns driving Metro just in our little city. My friends and I find it rather comical that people in this town cop an arrogance thing over driving a bus. Maybe arrogance over working at Microsoft would be ok- but, Ralph Cramden?
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 03, 2006 at 10:11 AM
And these clowns at City Hall want us to ditch our cars for this? It's not going to happen.
Posted by: Tommy008 | December 03, 2006 at 10:23 AM
To be honest, I never saw much rude behavior either. I'm sure it happens but have to agree with you, most people that I saw just got on the bus and sat down.
I've always thought the people who have the best bus service on those who commute from outside the city. They drive to their park-and-rides and get a straight shot into town. If we live in the city, we get crowded buses that often have to take the milk route, are late, and very crowded. Of course, this is a few years ago. Maybe it has changed.
Really, Tommie, I don't miss the bus at all!
Posted by: joanie | December 03, 2006 at 11:52 AM
Fortunately, I've found metro drivers to be unusually nice....it's the passengers who are rude. People who talk on their cellphones as if they're in their living rooms are incredibly arrogant. Once, I heard the confidential information about a named prospective tenant's history of alcoholism. Some drivers have skits that are clever and funny, the first time around. I've seen drivers go out of their ways to accommodate passengers, but I've also seen passengers go out of thier ways to annoy other passengers, as well as the driver. Ah, the wheels of the bus...
Posted by: FREMONT | December 03, 2006 at 12:17 PM
I don't disagree that riders are rude to each other . . . I can't tell you how many times I've sat next to someone who got closer and closer and . . . I actually got to the point when I saw certain people coming my way, I'd get up and stand. Remember, I often rode at odd hours.
The only other thing I remember was obnoxious loud radios . . . but not often and usually at night in the back of the bus.
One more thing . . . it surprised me how infrequently people would give up their seats for elderly people or people with obvious balance problems or with very small kids. Of course, when I rode the bus during rush hour, I would honestly resent the elderly shoppers who got on with shopping bags. They, too, could have used a course in common sense and courtesy.
Boy this is taking me back! Thanks for the memories . . .
Posted by: joanie | December 03, 2006 at 01:05 PM
OMG, Joans...you HAVE to ride the bus for no other reason than the culture change you'll experience. Loud radios are anachronisms...everyone (except cell-phone dialogers) sits quietly with little buds in their ears...it's surreal...people in their own little bubbles. The last time I heard people talking to each other, I counted four different languages being used on the same bus! Ya gotta do it!
Posted by: FREMONT | December 07, 2006 at 05:05 PM
That almost sounds like a refreshing rest break! A possible place for meditation perhaps? The 355 to West Seattle and back? Does it still go there?
Rich, I just saw your post re Gas. I never liked Mike much(didn't dislike him, just could take him or leave him) but I loved the Gros. When he paired with Gas for three hours, I stopped listening as much. But, by himself, I found Grosby addictive.
Do you still listen? I take it Mitch is still around . . .he's gonna qualify as a dirty old man pretty soon!
Posted by: joanie | December 07, 2006 at 08:31 PM
Joans, the 18 Fauntleroy and the 21 went to West Seattle....when you were a tot.
Posted by: FREMONT | December 07, 2006 at 10:09 PM
So where did/does the 355 go? I haven't seen an 18 or 21 for a long, long time . . . Fremont, were you one of my babysitters?
You seem to know a lot about me . . .
Posted by: joanie | December 07, 2006 at 10:32 PM