BASEBALL-RELATED TERROR STRIKES NEW YORK

With the startling news that Yankee pitcher Corey Lidle has flown an airplane into a residential high-rise building on New York City’s Upper East Side, this afternoon, talk radio is ablaze with new questions about terrorist suicide bombers from inside professional baseball.

"Lidle's on first," said Sean Hannity (KVI, m-f, 12-3p) "Who's in the bullpen?"

We've always known that the New York Yankees hate our freedom, but radio listeners across the nation are asking, "is this the suicide bombing of a free agent, a Yankee conspiracy, or is the terrorist infiltration baseball-wide?"

Stadia across the country are being evacuated and searched for explosives.

Many are asking: Is it a coincidence that President Bush was once managing general partner of the Texas Rangers? He reportedly once said, "I never dreamed about being president. When I was growing up, I wanted to be Willie Mays."

"The White House t-ball group needs to be investigated by the FBI," said Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA).

Reports that the White House t-ball locker room has been locked down has sent tremors through the capitol.

The sensitive t-ball program was set up by the President in the early days of the administration. The only criticisms of it has been about the super-secrecy of its proceedings and the carefully-guarded members' list.

Dana Milbank of the Washington Post says, "Until today, I thought the t-ball group was kept secret because it's such a pussy game."

After a bomb disguised as smelly athletic socks found in the locker room at the St. Louis Cardinals’ season opener against the Milwaukee Brewers at Busch Stadium in 2004, ATF investigators have dogs trained that can whiff the difference between stinky feet and C-4 explosives- a distinction lost on male federal employees.

President Bush in a statement has denied any baseball or White House involvement in the attack, but says arrests will be made. "We'll be definitely taking a look at the NBA."

Comments

[Rick]

Poor taste Blam...

[Caytie]

I agree with Rick.

[wny not]

might be funny tomorrow - but not today

[Liz]

I chuckled.

[sgh]

A fine example of the compassionate left.

[spambutcher]

jackass

[sugo]

oh jesus, lighten up, breath easy and be happy a real terrorist event DIDN'T happen.

[lukobe]

This isn't funny enough to be offensive :)

Off-topic--y'all get your voters pamphlets yet? Mine arrived yesterday.

[umo]

Corey Lidle got his pilot license from the "John Kennedy/John Denver Flight School".

Corey Lidle's last words: AllahU Akbar!

President Bush was so angered by today's Corey Lidle terrorist attack...he ordered an air strike on Yankee Stadium.

I'm here all week folks. Don't forget to try the veal.

[Brianne]

VERY bad taste. He left a wife and one or two children, and virtually nothing's been said about the peoples' apartments that were damaged and the others who died.

[rodman]

I'll agree with the string... not your best moment, michael.

[joanie]

Whenever anyone dies - whether Iraqi or baseball's Corey Lydle - it is a sad event.

Bush seems to have the same indifference to Iraqi deaths . . . 600,000? He says no. 30,000? Now that's a joke.

Life is life . . . value all of it or value none of it.

[mercifurious]

Bla'M~

Have you ever been given the adjectives "Sick" or "Unhinged"? hahahaha

Before I die, I want a big ol' Orbi "Mercifurious Unhinged" headline. We all have our dreams

[spambutcher]

If you're going to be crass you have to be funny.

this was crass and dumb.

I've heard funnier from Frank Shiers - a lot funnier.

(and I don't like Frank Shiers)

[trickydick]

Read this blog a lot and never have taken the time to post. Poor taste and not amusing. I could've given some credit if it was at least amusing...

[prismatic so prismatic]

I have to agree with trickydick above--I like reading the radio insider dope and the stuff that's relevant to local liberal/left politics, but crass (and feeble) attempts at humor just duplicate the excesses of Ann Coulter and her ilk. Plenty of pinheaded stuff out there to poke legitimate fun at without taking cheap shots and blowing your signal-to-noise ratio all out of whack.

[TomF]

Not remotely funny.

You can't criticize the president for seeming oblivious to the tragic deaths his policies cause... then turn around and use a tragic, innocent death as a comedy punchline.

Shit like this is why liberals don't clamber back into power. They attack the right for its cruelty, then out-cruel it themselves.

Shame.

[jerri]

is nothing sacred? LIKE MICHAEL'S RIGHT TO LAUGH AT LIFE??? It's stuff like this that makes me keep coming back here. as the man said, LIGHTEN UP!!!

[mikeB]

You are by far one sad & sick person. Seek Christ, He will fix that hole in your heart.

[sparky]

Bill Clinton's penis really wrote the article.

[joanie]

I chuckled, too, Liz.

[joanie]

Seems to me a good writer is supposed to get people's attention. Guess you did!

[lukobe]

Just because a good writer gets someone's attention doesn't mean if you get someone's attention you're a good writer :)

[joanie]

Oh really? :)

[Fremont]

Nothing is too sacred in the realm of black humor...giggles can be heard during the the dark nights of the soul. Navigate the void with humor...carry on, Bla'M!

[Right Wing Willie]

People die every day. Get used to it. The people on the street who were "traumatized" and crying, thinking it was another terrorist attack need to crawl back into their holes. Now wonder the terrorists think we're pussies.

[Fremont]

Does anyone have current information on the cause of this crash?

[sparky]

Fremont, all I have heard is the investigation is still ongoing, that the fuel tanks were full and there was no message, as earlier reported, that they were having fuel problems. I did also hear that one of the apartments damaged by this crash belonged to the woman who was injured in a Macy's Thanksgiving Parade a few years ago when one of the big balloons hit a lamp post, causing it to fall on her. I tell ya, God is saying to this woman, " MOVE TO ANOTHER CITY!!"

And, Willie, perhaps you have never lived through a traumatic episode...that is what Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is all about. Intellectually you know one thing, but your mind and body react to another.