Conservative talk host Rush Limpbaugh, 55, was detained at the Palm Beach Airport Monday after authorities said they found a bottle of the prescription drug Viagra in his possession.
(The widely abused drug is for erectile dysfunction, which means that Limpbaugh has to take pills to arouse his diminutive penis enough for normal sexual activity).
Smuggling and snuggling has been ruled out since Big Pants was alone on his private plane when it landed at the airport around 2p from the Dominican Republic.
He reportedly broke up with CNN anchor Daryn Kagan months ago.
Limbaugh's attorney Roy Black said the trip was a much needed vacation, "He just wanted to get a hold of himself."
"You may not want to shake his hand, but a man has the right to relax," said Black.
Erectile dysfunction is not untypical of drug users, the obese, men over the 50, the flatulant, and even the youngest of conservatives, according to Dr. Edgar "Choch" Manaña of Stanford Medical Center.
"Mr. Limpbaugh," he says, "is in all the risk groups. It has to do with repressed desires, tight sphinctering, narrow world views, or the simple curiosity to see an organ not seen in years or sometimes even decades."
Many in the blogosphere are wondering aloud, "Why the Dominican Republic with drugs that enhances sexual performance?" The extremely poor, mostly black Third World country is a popular stop for sex tourists.
But Black tried to quash those suspicions, saying said Limbaugh went to the Caribbean for "prayer, meditation and self-help."
Limbaugh, who admitted on the radio to be addicted to pain drugs in 2003, entered into a plea agreement in April. The charge of fraud to conceal information to obtain prescriptions (known as "doctor-shopping") was dropped under the condition he continue undergoing treatment for addiction.
Big Pants could face charges if authorities rule that this incident is a violation of his plea deal.
Limbaugh whose third marriage ended a few years ago, has used sexually explicit language (he talked about blow jobs- a big no-no in the evangelical community) on his radio show, and been arrested on drug charges, is said to be having problems with his religious socially conservative base audience.
"He does not want what God says- anyone who doesn't want what God says is going to have values problems," Rev. Ken Hutcherson, the fiery homophobic evangelical preacher and fishing buddy of Rush's told Blatherwatch last year.
There's evidence that Limbaugh's dominance in markets across the country has been waning in the last couple of years.
Some radio observers (including BlatherWatch) have predicted that Rush may retire this year. This humiliation may hasten that decision.
Pour that Limbaugh at least overcome its problem.
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