BlatherWatch

KTTH request line: singing songs to shoot liberals to...

KTTH Karaoke HOLIDAY CRUISE
November 30, 2005, Kirkland City Dock, 7:00pm-10:00pm
Join KTTH's on-air personalities for a cruise aboard the decorated Spirit of Seattle on Lake Washington, departing from Kirkland City Dock, to begin the festive holiday season. Dance to a DJ on one deck and karaoke on another deck. Enjoy delicious food from Qdoba Mexican Grill. $27 per adult. 

Promoters promise rock'n' roll hits sung by no other than by Mike Siegel (m-f, 6-9a) We're hoping he'll do 'My Boy Lollipop' and 'Under My Thumb.' Pre-dawn talk sensation Dan Sytman (Sat. 6-8a) will do the 'Theme from Braveheart.' We're promised that Michael Medved will attend and are pretty sure he can be talked into stepping up to the mic for a ripping rendition of "American Pie." Dave Boze (m-f, 5-6a) will be there, we'd hope he'd sing 'Okie From Muskogee," and other songs about shooting and lyching liberals. On the dance floor we're sure to see the "March of the Penquins," that latest of conservative dance crazes (it's the rage in Colorado Springs) as well as the ever-popular waltz.  (Married couples only).

This was sold out last year, but not this year. We're not sure if that reflects the station's poor ratings or the singing quality.

We'd love to witness this and duly blog, we're unable to attend, (our chihuahua needs a nail trim) but we'd give our left nostril to hear these guys. We're hoping to get reports.

Any requests for songs any of these talk stars to sing tonight?  Send them to BlatherWatch and email them to [email protected]

10 easy things mike webb can do to keep from going postal

Mike Webb (KIRO m-f 9p-1a) and wrote us a nasty note Monday. When Mike's feeling grumpy- look-out! He's never liked us; because, even though it's pained us to do it, we've always said what had to be said about Mike Webb.

And in return, Mike falls off the planet- popping his buttons, threatening us and calling us names and acting like Michael Savage.

Will you ever get it? [Dan]Savage trashes you because you ARE trash. He's a decent journalist who can sniff out a disgusting liar such as yourself and that closet case Maloney. It's about time you got a taste of your own medicine on that thing you call a "blog" - which is really just a waste of online bandwidth, serving only to vent your anguish and envy produced by your lack of talent and inability to score a real job in radio or other media. I really feel sorry for you. MW

See? Stuff like that really hurts our feelings, and you can see why. But we think there's hope- he did say he feels sorry for us- that's a baby step towards empathy- good job, Mike!

When he read Mike's letter, our loyal reader, sclub wrote: You're a ticking time bomb, Mr. Webb. The day you finally go postal, hope the newsroom knows where to duck so nobody gets hurt.

We've assembled some advice to help keep his demons in their pen, because Mike: we're here to help!

10 easy things Mike Webb can do to keep from going postal

1. Get some callers-in to your show. Mike, with your money, you could hire some. It's worth it- having good sober listeners actually pick up a phone and call you on the air would do your disposition a world of good and could help offset the emotional crisis we all see coming.

2. Become a conservative. You've been such a disappointment (and frankly an embarrassment) to us liberals. Be true to yourself, Mike- changing over couldn't be harder than when you decided to become a liberal in the first place. Think of it as just another professional decison. With your unmanageable rage, your circular logic, your Lexus, your union-busting, your propensity for name-calling and law suits, your (thin) skin condition and your concealed weapons permit- you could be a star on KTTH. 

3. Turn straight. Are your gay proclivities as opportunistic as your politics? You seem pretty pissed off about 'em...Maybe it's you who's the closet case--being closeted makes anyone grumpy. Maybe a girlfriend could help, though we wouldn't want any woman we know to take you on. Again, Mike- you could hire one. 

4. Change jobs. This ain't working for you, buddy. Nobody listens to you, or takes you seriously; and that just adds to the strength of your fury. You could become the DJ you always wanted to be; or get into a profession where anger works for you: pro-wrestler, say, or a bouncer, a viking, a cop, or one of those guys who bites heads off chickens. In the words of the Goddess Kring:  It's never too late to be what you might have been.

5. Take up gardening, pottery or SCUBA. Hobbies like these could get your mind off yourself- a depressing place for any mind.

6. More meetings would help.

7. Therapy, anger management, yoga, empathy training, a high colonic? Conscious pooping can detoxify even the foulest of 'tudes, we're told.

8. Go to church. There's a spiritual answer. Rev. Hutch out at Antioch Bible Church would love to get his hands on your ass (not in the biblical sense, of course). They've got a great ex-gay ministry out there and remember: he's counseled Rush Limbaugh, another raging dry drunk from the explaining industry.

9. How 'bout a few days in a nice spa?...you could get your nails done and meditate on those bedrock liberal values: charity, tolerance, and lovingkindness.

10. Get rid of the gun- you're making everybody nervous. You and the right-wing Kirby Wilbur (KVI m-f, 5-9a) are the only talk show hosts we know who carry and Kirby, though deluded, is otherwise normal.

Got any inside radio poop to scoop?
Discretion assured. Send us an email at         
[email protected].

UPDATE: dan savage responds to blatherWatch’s startlingly tepid expose of sharkansky’s fatal fall from stranger grace

BlatherWatch has nothing but respect for Dan Savage, editor of The Stranger, bestselling author and sex columnist, erstwhile talk show host, liberal, father and husband. We read all his books, his columns and agree with everything he says or does. We've urged him to get into talk radio.

We're in his amen corner.

We agree with PeakLimiter, our faithful reader and harsh critic- Savage has way more class than we do. As a matter of fact, we’ve always looked to him as a role model on our journey to classiness and distinction.

F’rinstance:
~~We listened to Dan and allowed (encouraged, demanded) that our girlfriend get a strap-on and use it on our previously virginal tender parts.

~~We put his wonderful word, “santorum” into our vocabulary and at his behest, opened our hearts to felching.

~~We cheered when he and a cross-dressing friend went to the Republican County convention as Pat Buchanan delegates and thrilled to his hilarious accounts of that day on NPR and elsewhere.

~~We were right there when Dan licked Gary Bauer’s knobs with his diseased tongue and thrilled to his hilarious accounts of that day on salon.com and elsewhere.

~~We even tried turning gay for a while, but when we finally realized that Dan himself would always be unavailable, went begrudgingly back to our drab breeder lives.

We love this classy guy, so we were disappointed to read his harsh words in our comment strings and in those over at horsessass.org refuting our story that Stuffin’ Sharkansky (the most famous blogger in the land) had been fired from The Stranger for wearing two hats in one day. Here’s what we wrote:

According to our source, Sharkansky attended the Republicans' press conference first, where he was hailed as a hero; invited to stand up in front, got the "googly eyes from Kathy Lambert" (not that hard to get, actually, if you're of the male species) and perhaps even spoke to them. Then shoving his Republican political operative hat back in his pocket, he donned his journalist hat, (made with duct tape and Superglue on PhotoShop, no doubt) and as a Stranger reporter, went to the Elections Department presser, where he presumably asked searing questions ala Mike Wallace.

That a reporter would stand as a party operative, and then be a reporter on the same afternoon would embarrass any news organization. Feit was not amused to say the least, according to our source. He decided then and there to kick him off the paper after the election.

We love having Dan in the conversation, but we need to respond to a couple of his accusations.

He said we were letting our “hatred for Stefan" cloud our judgment and that our bias, not Stefan's, is the issue. We take exception to that; just as we take exception to Republicans' discounting criticisms of Bush as hatred for Bush. We're biased, but we don’t hate anybody- we just don’t like Stefan’s politics (as we’re sure he doesn’t like ours).

Hence, we love to see him stumble. His partisan dissembling and hyperbole during the post election- even though couched sometimes in facts- hurt America, as Jon Stewart might say- or at least, our green corner of it. He was dishonest and irresponsible and an important part of a cynical Republican strategy to poke a Democratic Governor in the eye. That's the main reason we didn't agree with The Stranger's decision to give him ink and were glad when they finally booted him down the back stairs.

Dan asks: “Who, I’d like to know, are your sources inside the Stranger? Please name them. Not because I want to fire them...but because I’m certain they do not exist.” 

We’re as partisan here as Stefan. Where we differ is that we don’t make up stuff, or fabricate sources.

Maybe we should have underscored that Stefan, according to our source, pawned himself off as a Stranger reporter at the second press conference, and that, purportedly, was the last straw for Feit though apparently, as Dan says, they parted on friendly terms.

Maybe ”fired” wasn’t the right word, maybe “gentle shove” would have been more circumspect. (Circumspection is something we’re working on, though it looks today like it’s more 'long-term goal' than 'to-do for tomorrow.'

We certainly don’t hate Stefan, we'venever met him; but as Goldy at Horse’s Ass wrote recently: "… kicking Stefan while he’s down is, well… fun. I have every right to gloat… a year after we both really got into this, Christine Gregoire is still governor, Ron Sims is still executive, and (pending the recommendations of the turn around team) Dean Logan is still running KCRE.

Or as BlatherWatch wrote recently:  Mega-neeners, shmuck!

The last man or woman to die in any war almost surely dies in vain: The outcome has been determined, if not certified. And he or she might die happier thinking that death came in a noble cause that will not be abandoned. But if it is not a noble cause, he or she might prefer not to die at all. Stifling criticism that might shorten the war is no favor to American soldiers. They can live without that kind of "respect." ~Michael Kinsley, The Phony War Against the Critics, Washington Post, Nov. 25, 2005

"Left" overs: CHEF MICHAEL'S TURKEY JELLO PRETZEL SALAD

Chef Michael's Turkey Jello Pretzel Salad

3 tbsp. sugar
2 c. crushed pretzels
1/4 c. melted butter
1/2 c. powdered sugar
10 oz. cooked turkey
8 oz. pkg. cream cheese
8 oz. carton Cool Whip
2 c. miniature marshmallows
6 oz. pkg. strawberry Jello
2 1/2 c. boiling water

Mix together sugar, melted butter and crushed pretzel sticks. Press into 9 x 13 pan and bake 15 minutes at 350 degrees. Set aside to cool. Soften cream cheese; add powdered sugar and cream well. Fold in dessert topping and marshmallows. Spread over pretzel crust. Mix Jello in boiling water. Stir in turkey. When slightly thickened, pour over cream cheese layer. Place in the refrigerator until set. Serves 8 to 10.

sharkansky fired for arrogance, sleaze

Ever wonder why Stefan Sharkansky got fired from The Stranger earlier this month? So did we...today we got the real story behind News Editor Josh Feit's nice-nice when he announced Sharkansky's demise Nov. 3.

In case you've forgotten who he was, (so many have) he's the blogger (Soundpolitics) who had his 15 minutes during the post election brouhaha. He gained national MSM attention by "investigating" the county elections department and dribbling out plausible-sounding revelations, some of which were factual.

His often fallacious blogs got him on Fox News and local media loved him too. He was a fixture on KVI and KTTH with John Carlson, Kirby Wilbur, and Mike Siegel during the long months of the recount and the Republicans' made-for-TV lawsuit challenging Gregoire's election.

(If you read it on Soundpolitics, politicos joked, you'd read it next day in the Seattle Times. Even the ultra-left, bad-boy, The Stranger gave him a column, even though he was a doctrinaire Republican. County Chair Chris Vance used to write in to Soundpolitics' comment pages and Stefan would regularly appear on Republican Radio (KVI Sat.,3-5p). Those were the days...)

This came to a halt, we're told by someone inside The Stranger, when Sharkansky attended a pair of press conferences wearing a different hat to each. The pressers were in reaction to a news story he wrote for The Stranger on "fatal pends," incomplete ballots he said were illegally counted by King Co Elections.

According to our source, Sharkansky attended the Republicans' press conference first, where he was hailed as a hero; invited to stand up in front, got the "googly eyes from Kathy Lambert" (not that hard to get, actually, if you're of the male species) and perhaps even spoke to them. Then shoving his Republican political operative hat back in his pocket, he donned his journalist hat, (made with duct tape and Superglue on PhotoShop, no doubt) and as a Stranger reporter, went to the Elections Department presser, where he presumably asked searing questions ala Mike Wallace.

That a reporter would stand as a party operative, and then be a reporter on the same afternoon would embarrass any news organization. Feit was not amused to say the least, according to our source. He decided then and there to kick him off paper after the election.

Besides his overreaching arrogance, Sharkansky has proved to be a one-trick pony. If you read his blog, (so many don't) he's still prattling on about ballots and voting peculiarities. (check out today's riveting "photo essay of frightening mail ballots ") even though the world has moved on.

It's been fascinating to watch Sharkansky spin out into irrelevance after his meteoric rise and dazzling crescendo. An interesting comparison is his arch-rival David Goldstein whose blog, Horse's Ass.org built slowly and has gained a more stable readership. Goldy was instrumental in bringing down the candidacy of the Dave Irons, the ne'er-do-well challenger to County Exec Ron Sims in this month's election. His exposes of Irons' family feuds and rageful temper (which included his own mother's polygraphed account of him hitting her) put the frosting on the coffin.

Goldstein has more to say on many more issues and he has a sense of humor. Doggedness seemed to be Stefan's long suit and now he just seems stuck.

In the eminent onslaught of turkeys, we'll be blogging light for the rest of the week. 

cinnabon-related evil, mike siegel sings karaoke, dino rossi's evil redemption

~~Monday talk radio was aflutter (Dori Monson KIRO m-f, 12-3p; John Carlson, KVI m-f, 3-6p) with the Tacoma Mall Sunday shooting by a deranged gunman. As you can imagine, there were many reasons opined by the talk radio callers why Dominick S. Maldonado let the lead fly so close to Sam Goody and all that we hold dear. Here's a sample: 
1) the guy ran amok because there was no nativity scene or religious displays allowed in the mall, thanks to the ACLU.
2) one caller told Carlson (who agreed) that the whole darn thing would have never happened if one out of three citizens in the mall was carrying a firearm.
3) all anyone has to know is that Maldonado is Evil. No need to psychoanalyze him, coddle him, listen to him, try him even...just put him down.
4) maybe it was one of those Cinnabon-related crimes of hypoglycemic rage or an irrational reaction from a less than satisfactory food court experience. It happens.   

~~Speaking of evil: what could be more frightening than Michael Medved singing karaoke? Or even more scary, Mike Siegel? Yes, Wednesday, November 30, KTTH will attempt to entice listeners on the 2nd annual KTTH Karaoke Cruise. We have no idea whether Michael or Mike can sing--maybe they can if they've allowed themselves to get into this decidedly weird situation. But can they "get down?" Will they "get down?" And if they do, would you want to see it? The Agony Cruise website says this event  sold out last year--actually, it might be worth the $27 bucks to witness it. If you decide to go, email [email protected] and make song requests for Medved, Siegel, Dave Boze, and Dan Sytman. We wanna see Mike Siegel doing "My Boy Lollypop."

--Revealing, is what they were--we speak of Designated GOP Liar Sean Hannity's talking points when lecturing Monday about how Congressional criticism of Bush's war is hurting America. He said: "Just as we're winning and victory is in sight, these [Democrats] want us to cut and run." He predicted that in six months, 50,000 troops will be ready to be pulled out, we'll be so darned victorious. Everybody knows that we've got to get out of Iraq--especially the R's if they ever want to win another election. Sounds like Hannity' and the other right-wing spin monkeys have been instructed to get out in front of the ignominious pull-out by saying we're already winning.
~~
"How To Publish A Book," by Dino Rossi, 2004 gubernatorial candidate. It's easy if you're a banker like the lovable loser. First, start a publishing company; then "write" by speaking into a tape recorder, hire a writer/editor to clean it up and put it into book form; next... publish yourself! He's a struggling writer, Republican-style. Wanna laugh? Click here for Rossi's publishing company's e-catalog.  Then click on "New Products," then click on "All Products."
~~
~~This Evil business is sure big with the right, these days. MSNBC's Chris Mathews got Michael Medved (KTTH m-f, 12-3p) and Michelle Malkin going when he said, "If we stop trying to figure out the other side, we've given up. The person on the other side is not evil -- they just have a different perspective." You'da thunk he'd burned a flag--when they say Evil they're talking about The Devil, whom fundamentalists (evangelicals, orthodox, born-agains--same-same-same) and neocons think is as omnipresent as Anderson Cooper. Pronouncing a person or event as  "evil" or "Evil" precludes, in their dark corner of the Judeo-Christian world, investigation, analysis, or empathy--just dismiss it as evil and shoot it. This goes for murderers, terrorists, pitbulls, Hitler, gangsta rappers, and certain Democrats. Whatever happened to redemption? We always thought that was the deal in Judeo-Christianity...

Really, vili! seattle magazine seeks out the boogers in the 2005 baba ganouche

We always love to press our advantage of having 22-33 loyal readers and plug our off-line accomplishments, here on BlatherWatch.

This month's Seattle Magazine, that slick arbiter of good taste and Best Dentists has presented its traditional "Best of 2005," edition featuring 143 winners for the best food,services, people, shops in where? Seattle, of course.

It's a healthy read and a good one if you wanna know how and why to get what where. It's not available on-line, so you must go to a news stand or buy a subscription, here.

Because of our generally raucus and ironic attitudes, the editors come to us every year to help decide and tell the stories of the year's worst. Needles to say, 2005 provided an abundance of duds. (watch for our next book, An Abundance of Duds).
This from Seattle Magazine, December 2005, p.103. Available on newstands, now.

Lawfully Wedded?
Dude, when you’re 39, she’ll be like 60!
by Michael Hood
Romantics swooned, paparazzi (one disguised as a tree) swarmed Woodinville's Columbia Winery, the worst kept “secret location” since D-Day. It was the May nups of Mary Kay Letourneau, 43, and Vili Fualaau, 22.

In a lavish Pay-for-View ceremony with 200 guests, eight Entertainment Tonight! cameras, and enough sugary tabloid goo to fire up the Hallmark Blimp for a Candy Land World Tour, the former grade school teacher and her erstwhile victim were united in marriage.

It was a rape with a happy ending.

Letourneau reclined in a limo on her way to the ceremony- even though it was lying down in a car that got her in so much trouble in the first place. This time though it was to avoid the paparazzi.

She wore a long, white empire-style dress embroidered with handmade lace flowers hand-stitched in London by Christiana Couture.

Fualaau wore a black tuxedo with emotions on his sleeve. "In this energy that surrounds us on this joyous night, granted by our love,” he commented, “Shall it be written in the heavens that I Vili, take you Mary, to be my lawfully wedded wife,"

Guests, sworn to secrecy, passed through metal detectors and checked cell phones and cameras at the door. They bore the Villeroy & Boch pickle dish, the Cuisinart waffle iron, and the other housewares bought from the couple's Seattle Macy's on-line bridal registry that became international headlines.

The wedding took place less than a year after the former elementary school teacher was released from prison for raping the then 12-year-old Vili. Under the terms of her 2004 prison release, there was no Hawaiian honeymoon the bride, a level 2 sex offender can’t travel outside King County. The couple's daughters, Audrey, 8, and Alexis Georgia, 7, (born while Mom was locked-up) were flower girls.

Exclusive rights to the wedding was given to the tabloid TV show, ET! and it's ugly step sister, The Insider. Producers denied paying for interviews or wedding expenses; but they did buy the video of the three days around the wedding from New York's World Picture News, the agency for celebrity weddings like that of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. A spokesman for ET declined to disclose the cost of the wedding footage, but said a reported sum of $500,000 was "ridiculous."

The couple will reside in Normandy Park with their daughters.

the most popular talk station in seattle

What's the most popular talk station in Seattle?  No, it's not KIRO. Forget pip-squeaks like KVI and KTTH or Air America. It's none of those screaming, hypermanic AM talkers with their cranky conservatives, drive-by debate, chug-a-lug politics and wham-bam-thank-you-sir prurient interests.

It's the gentle, measured, cerebral (someone would say boring)  KUOW-FM (94.9) the Seattle talk format NPR affiliate.

Arbitron doesn't include public non-commercial stations in the 12+ numbers it releases--they're listed separately by the Radio Research Consortium.

The Seattle Post Intelligencer's Bill Virgin, whose weekly "Radio Beat" column is the only regularly reported MSM radio news we have in this town, put together both lists and found that not only was KUOW the highest rated talk station, it was the #2 in the whole market (second only to the mighty country music format KMPS).

This has always been common knowledge in the radio business around here, but Virgin does a good job of crunching and integrating the numbers and documenting it for us lay folk.

KUOW isn't the only non-commercial station to register in the combined overall rankings. KPLU-FM (88.5), along with Port Angeles outlet KVIX-FM (89.3), finishes in a tie at 16th on the adjusted rankings, while KEXP-FM (90.3) places 27th. Also registering on the list are Bellevue Community College's KBCS-FM (91.3) and Clover Park Technical College's KVTI-FM (90.9).

Yes, Seattle is different. Virgin writes that public radio does well in certain markets, like San Francisco, and Minneapolis -St. Paul and college town markets like Raleigh-Durham. He says "...KUOW's ranking has to be one of the highest in the country."

(A little disclosure: we love NPR here at BlatherWatch and have had many commentaries on the national "All things Considered" and have appeared many times on KUOW).

One of the reasons that right-wing talk has become so powerful in the Northwest, is that so many of us liberals are escaping the crassness of the commercial-strewn AM stations and tuning in to the nuanced and intellectually satisfying NPR.

Meanwhile many other folks, apolitical or non-aligned, and trapped in their cars, have become politicized by the repetitive drumbeat of conservative talk. While we're getting the finer points, others are having partisan polemic literally pounded daily into their brains at the cellular level.

It's a big problem for Air America or other liberal AM talk. The commercials, the tone of voice, and unmitigated bias of AM talk is a turn-off to the on-the-other-hand crowd.

Nuance is cool intellectually but Sean Hannity, Kirby Wilbur, John Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, et al, not only deliver punchy intense entertainment, but also turn listeners into passionate partisans. They have perfected- written the book on- making political rhetoric a popular entertainment medium.

NPR doesn't try to do that, but while they get big numbers in Seattle, their listeners are kept naive about the reality of local partisan politics.

~~They have, through salacious repetition, helped poison the minds of people against politicians, government and government process. While skepticism about government is good, the total distrust is unwarranted and problematic to the Republic.      

~~The extreme anti-tax I-912 was conceived by two talk hosts who used their shows to accomplish the amazing feat of getting it on the ballot in record time. It took a huge effort and millions of dollars to defeat the regressive measure.

~~Tim Eyman and his monkey-wrenching tax revolt initiatives would be nowhere without Seattle talk radio. Neither would the anti-affirmative I-200. Or the one-size-fits-all justice of "3-Strikes You're Out."

~~The attempt to unseat Christine Gregoire, though a failure in court, was a tremendous political success for Republicans. They succeeded, through talk radio, and triangulation with blogs, in convincing citizens that a) the King County Elections Dep't committed fraud and b) that Christine Gregoire had something to do with it. They put her numbers in the tank, a place from which she is only now recovering.

During all of this, we progressives in Seattle were listening to KUOW, considering all things and were amazed when the fruits of the talk radio conservative activists fell from the tree.

Who needs to address this is the Democratic Party, who incredibly blows off AM talk radio. They should, like the Republicans, recruit and groom young people to get into broadcasting; and take the medium seriously- they're getting their ass-kicked. The talk radio audience are, for the most part, the swing voters--they can be won over

This is our favorite rant, we'll stop now. Here are some interesting factoids about KUOW from Virgin's piece:

So what are people listening to when they tune in to KUOW? The most listened-to hour of the week, according to program director Jeff Hansen, is the nationally syndicated "Car Talk" at 9 a.m. Saturdays.

That's followed by the 7-8 a.m. weekday hour of "Morning Edition," "Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me" at 10 a.m. Saturday, the 8-9 a.m. segment of "Morning Edition," "This American Life" at 11 a.m. Saturday, the 6-7 a.m. segment of "Morning Edition," the 8-9 a.m. segment of "Weekend Edition" on Saturdays, the Sunday rebroadcast of "Prairie Home Companion" (it actually outdraws the Saturday broadcast) and the 5-6 p.m. segment of "All Things Considered."