10 easy things mike webb can do to keep from going postal

Mike Webb (KIRO m-f 9p-1a) and wrote us a nasty note Monday. When Mike's feeling grumpy- look-out! He's never liked us; because, even though it's pained us to do it, we've always said what had to be said about Mike Webb.

And in return, Mike falls off the planet- popping his buttons, threatening us and calling us names and acting like Michael Savage.

Will you ever get it? [Dan]Savage trashes you because you ARE trash. He's a decent journalist who can sniff out a disgusting liar such as yourself and that closet case Maloney. It's about time you got a taste of your own medicine on that thing you call a "blog" - which is really just a waste of online bandwidth, serving only to vent your anguish and envy produced by your lack of talent and inability to score a real job in radio or other media. I really feel sorry for you. MW

See? Stuff like that really hurts our feelings, and you can see why. But we think there's hope- he did say he feels sorry for us- that's a baby step towards empathy- good job, Mike!

When he read Mike's letter, our loyal reader, sclub wrote: You're a ticking time bomb, Mr. Webb. The day you finally go postal, hope the newsroom knows where to duck so nobody gets hurt.

We've assembled some advice to help keep his demons in their pen, because Mike: we're here to help!

10 easy things Mike Webb can do to keep from going postal

1. Get some callers-in to your show. Mike, with your money, you could hire some. It's worth it- having good sober listeners actually pick up a phone and call you on the air would do your disposition a world of good and could help offset the emotional crisis we all see coming.

2. Become a conservative. You've been such a disappointment (and frankly an embarrassment) to us liberals. Be true to yourself, Mike- changing over couldn't be harder than when you decided to become a liberal in the first place. Think of it as just another professional decison. With your unmanageable rage, your circular logic, your Lexus, your union-busting, your propensity for name-calling and law suits, your (thin) skin condition and your concealed weapons permit- you could be a star on KTTH. 

3. Turn straight. Are your gay proclivities as opportunistic as your politics? You seem pretty pissed off about 'em...Maybe it's you who's the closet case--being closeted makes anyone grumpy. Maybe a girlfriend could help, though we wouldn't want any woman we know to take you on. Again, Mike- you could hire one. 

4. Change jobs. This ain't working for you, buddy. Nobody listens to you, or takes you seriously; and that just adds to the strength of your fury. You could become the DJ you always wanted to be; or get into a profession where anger works for you: pro-wrestler, say, or a bouncer, a viking, a cop, or one of those guys who bites heads off chickens. In the words of the Goddess Kring:  It's never too late to be what you might have been.

5. Take up gardening, pottery or SCUBA. Hobbies like these could get your mind off yourself- a depressing place for any mind.

6. More meetings would help.

7. Therapy, anger management, yoga, empathy training, a high colonic? Conscious pooping can detoxify even the foulest of 'tudes, we're told.

8. Go to church. There's a spiritual answer. Rev. Hutch out at Antioch Bible Church would love to get his hands on your ass (not in the biblical sense, of course). They've got a great ex-gay ministry out there and remember: he's counseled Rush Limbaugh, another raging dry drunk from the explaining industry.

9. How 'bout a few days in a nice spa?...you could get your nails done and meditate on those bedrock liberal values: charity, tolerance, and lovingkindness.

10. Get rid of the gun- you're making everybody nervous. You and the right-wing Kirby Wilbur (KVI m-f, 5-9a) are the only talk show hosts we know who carry and Kirby, though deluded, is otherwise normal.

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Comments

[drool]

It's actually called a Concealed Pistol License and I don't see anything wrong with them. As much as the anti gun crowd hyperventilates every time a state takes up the issue, THE FACTS show no massacres in states like ours where they've been available a very long time.

[ExRat]

Yeah Michael, That guy with the carry permit saved the day at the Tacoma Mall. He got shot three times instead of once. He's now paralyzed and we'll be supporting him for the rest of his life but I'll bet he felt like a big man when he pulled that gun out! The Mall shooter didn't appear to have any bullet wounds... Hmmmm.

[windie]

hey drool;

I hate to ruin the joke for people that get it, but densness is a pain...

Theres a hint in the fact that he thinks its okay for Wilbur to have one, but webb... you see?

(Its not funny if you have to explain it)

[Fred]

#11 - Start a blog. You can release your anger though words and no need to shout. No worries about being confronted, so no need to carry. You even get feedback from people with no life who comment on your blog.
Oops! That me!

[drool]

Ex,

I read it as disparaging towards Kirby too.

Guess we read it different.

[drool]

Come to think of it Mike may be a bit paranoid. Why no picture on KIRO's web site or his?

[blathering michael]

I like Kirby- known him for years- he's a decent human being, though deluded politically. Webb has an anger management problem, Kirby does not. Check the January edition of Seattle Mag for my pic. Contrary to rumors, I am not a woman.

[darryl]

Mike Webb? Mike Webb? Hmmmm...never heard of him.

[chris]

Can't we put him to good use exterminating republicans?

[sparky]

Michael I think he was referring to the fact that Mike Webb chooses not to have his picture on the KIRO website, like the other hosts do....

[drool]

Chris,

Correct. I was referring to Mike Webb and not Blathering Michael.

[Lump]

Michael sez, "meditate on those bedrock liberal values: charity, tolerance, and lovingkindness."

Don't forget to tell the Ted Kennedy wing of the loonie left about those values. He must have left them in the car with Mary Jo when he drove off the bridge.

[chris]

Didn't laura bush kill a driver while running a stop sign?

Claim: While a teenager, future First Lady Laura Bush caused the death of a classmate in a car accident.

Status: True.

In May 2000, a two-page police report pertaining to a fatal accident that had taken place near Midland, Texas, in 1963 was made public. It contained the information that 17-year-old Laura Welch had run a stop sign, causing the death of the sole occupant of the vehicle hers had struck. According to that report, the future First Lady had been driving her Chevrolet sedan on a clear night shortly after 8 p.m. on 6 November 1963 when she entered an intersection without heeding the stop sign and there collided with the Corvair sedan driven by 17-year-old Michael Douglas. Also in the car with Laura Welch was a passenger, 17-year-old Judy Dykes.

[blathering michael]

It is true that Mike Webb is paranoid about having his picture in public. He says it's because of death threats, though so many in media have had death threats and walk upright like a man. I always use Dan Savage as an example, who's more controversial, more threatening politically to the nuts, who speaks frequently in public and on TV; and whose picture is on every book cover. Somebody at KIRO told me in 2003 that Webb has acne scars he wants to hide, but I've been told since that wasn't the case. who knows, he's such a freek.

[chris]

TVW shows the Kiro "Battle of the Stars" on occassion and the hosts are in plain view

[Trip]

Can't hardly fault a man like Mike Webb for wanting to retain his privacy even if he works in a highly visible (audible?) job.

Two words: "Alan Berg".

[saggy]

I knew Alan Berg, Mr. Webb, and you sir, are no Ala Berg.

[sclub]

Saggy nails it.

Mr. Webb's not important enough to attack. HE'S the public safety threat, and a liability issue for Entercom.

[Eric t]

Hey exrat, F you! I'll blow you away when needed. The guy was slow to the draw, but not all gun carriers are. Don't be too sure that you can emulate the Tacoma Mall shooter next time and live through it! Oh Einstein, by the way, did you ever wake up enough to see the whole episode through to the end? How many people did he save from death or injury by interrupting his spree? Think dumb ass, before you blog. Eric

[Eric t]

Hey Chris, Laura Bush had an accident and accounted for it. What did Ted Kennedy, or OJ Simpson pay for their crimes? I rest my case. Eric

[chris]

Ted's was investigated, OJ was cleared by a jury--get your tuning fork out again...

[sparky]

uh...what did Laura pay? did she do jail time? and I believe that OJ stabbed his wife...how is that related?

[ExRat]

Eric says: "Hey exrat, F you!" etc.

Why is it that whenever one confronts a right wing gun nut with facts they start calling you names?

[JDB]

ExRat:

Because they can't shoot you over their computer?

[Lump]

Sparky sez, "uh...what did Laura pay? did she do jail time?"

Did she not go to court? Was she drunk at the time? Was she chippying on a spouse? Did she leave the scene of the accident and finally report it hours later? A tragedy for the parents of both victims.

[howie in seattle]

replace webb with jim mcdermott. we will all be better for it. jim's just taking up a seat in congress and webb's taking up space on the airwaves.

[mesa]

Anyone know what happened to the Buzz? As of noon today they have a new format...No more BJ Shea/Leykis?

Was this in the works?

[Cyn]

Mike Webb is indeed disappointing and embararassing to us good liberals. What on earth prompted his nasty note? And, Mike, puleeze...we are not all homophobes if we dare to disagree with you. I have just as many gay and lesbian friends as I do straight friends. They don't suffer from the paranoid tendencies that you do. Nor do they have the same anger management issues. Sheesh. And we are not watered-down, spineless lefties if we disagree with you, Mike. I'm in agreement with sclub (and saggy) that Mike is hardly important enough for anyone to pick off and, yes, he is a liability for Entercom. For Hanukkah this year, I want a new liberal host in the 9 p.m. slot. KIRO better have a good one waiting in the wings for the day when Mike does self-destruct. When that day comes, he will have done it to himself.

[chris]

I heard "double R" is getting his own show on KISW, what with Stern going over to Sirius soon. I don't think BJ could carry the whole show by himself

[chris]

The choice was obvious for us, and so the long time Buzz midday show with BJ Shea, Double R and Topshelf will head to KISW to become "The BJ Shea Morning Experience" replacing Howard Stern beginning January 3rd. But they are not coming alone.... from nights on The Buzz, The Mens Room featuring Miles Montgomery and Steve "The Thrill" Hill take over afternoon drive on KISW.

[mesa]

Thanks for the info Chris..

I wasn't a big fan of Shea, or Leykis for that matter but was curious why there was so little fanfare leading up to The Buzz becoming The Wolf (?)...so is anyone local picking up Leykis' show?

[Andrew]

SO 100.7 is country now, the Buzz's website points to KISW who is picking up BJ Shea in the morning. What's happening with the Tok Leykis Show in Seattle?

[Andrew]

Ya I can't believe they would drop Leykis' show. I was under the impression he did well here.

[chris]

I dunno, Leykis got sucker punched here...

[sparky]

Ohhhh I know someone who is going to be VERY unhappy that Leykis is not on the air....hehe...

Lump, those were not rhetorical questions I asked about Laura..and you added more questions I cannot answer. I was curious, that's all. Please don't assume I think that what Ted Kennedy did was right. That scenario was a tragedy also.

[windie]

*does a little no-more-leykis dance*

[blathering michael]

Don't do your no-Leykis dance, quite yet...rumors are rife, we'll know, I hope, better tomorrow. don't touch that dial...

[shelley]

what happened to robin and maynard? they got canned and didn't even get to say good bye..
oh well

[Scrilla]

BUH bye, KTTH.

BUH. Bye.

What part did you not understand? The 'BUH'? Or the 'Bye.'

p.s. Worst decision in radio ever? That'd be Limbaugh on KIRO 9-noon.

p.p.s. Not that I've heard anything.

[shelley]

i meant robin and maynard at 100.7
that's not ktth

[PeakLimiter]

And what part of a decision that would bring KIRO bigger ratings in the 9-12 slot than they have EVER had? Even when Ross was there he was a share or 2 behind Limbaugh.
Your statement just assured everyone, you do not work in radio-never have and never will.

[Andrew]

"Talk about a BUZZ KILL!!! Our Seattle home has been BLOWN UP!!! Be sure to check back frequently for news. We thank you for over a decade of support and encourage you to voice your opinion to Entercom Seattle at (206) 285-7625."

- http://www.blowmeuptom.com/

[Andrew]

Here's a whole big article

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tv/250282_radiobeat01.html

"Entercom also announced that it is moving nationally syndicated Tom Leykis' show to KISW 10 p.m.-2 a.m. weekdays. But left up in the air is the status of other programming on The Buzz, including the morning-drive program hosted by Seattle radio veterans Robin Erickson and John Maynard."

[Andrew]

That new country station will be gone in six months or less. I doubt they have a well thought out plan to take on KMPS. People who listen to it country seem to get their fix from KMPS and haven't seemed to want an alternative in the past.

You'd think they'd need a new crop listeners to country music to get people who hadn't already attached themselves to KMPS. Maybe if another Garth Brooks hit the scene there would be media attention and fresh interest in country music, and then it could work but this is just out of the blue.

[Chad Stanley]

In a parallel universe, Mike Webb is the new morning drive Country deejay at 100.7 the Wolf.

Then again, perhaps not.

Getting back to the subject of this thread, I'm intrigued by the severe case of paranoia and self loathing of one Mike Webb. Throw in a dollup of martyr complex, and shake it up - serve cold.

Frankly, I have NO idea what he'd talk about if the Democrats took back the White House.

Still, as a radio personality he's got chops. Too bad there's a little of the 'unstable Jack Parr' thing goin' on. In a way, that makes him as interestin' as a fender bender.

[Tom]

Mike Webb has a guy who calls himself Dr. Mortimer S Weems D.D.S, who is always instant messaging him a written buttkicking. He shows up on Erin Hart's show also, again via email. Since I can't stand the uber- arrogant Herr Webb, or the annoying Hart, I get a real charge out of this Weems. You go Weems!

[Tom]

Mike Webb has a guy who calls himself Dr. Mortimer S Weems D.D.S, who is always instant messaging him a written buttkicking. He shows up on Erin Hart's show also, again via email. Since I can't stand the uber- arrogant Herr Webb, or the annoying Hart, I get a real charge out of this Weems. You go Weems!

[Tom]

Webb is an arrogant ass, who is also intellectually dishonest. You go, Dr. Weems!