blatherWatch

Friday oddems: honky whitesville; slime at the water's edge; neville chamberlain plays hardball; tiny, sick children; zucchini de ron; shrimp cocktails hired at KIRO; absolutely nothing about dori monson

~~ Unfortunately for KIRO fill-ins Frank Shiers and David Goldstein; these shrimp cocktails were hired during Passover to fill in for Ron & Don (m-f, 3-6p). "They're not kosher," said PD Rod Arquette, "but few in the R&D audience knew the difference." 

~~ "You don't know what you're talking about." We've been trashing MSNBC's Chris Matthews lately because he gets spittle on his jaw when he talks, and what he's usually talking about generally reveals him to be a supercilious ass. But Thursday, we gotta hand it to you, Chris: you done good. KRLA talk host Kevin James came on to discuss Bush's pointed attack on the Democrats in the Knesset today, where he accused Barack Obama of the "appeasement" of terrorists, comparing him obliquely to Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, British Conservative appeaser of Hitler. James, who's a blabbermouthed fool his own self, kept referring to Chamberlain until Matthews could take it no more. "What did Neville Chamberlain do wrong in 1939?" he demanded. James motored on without answering the question. Then Matthews went after him like a school marm on meth until he got James to finally admit he didn't know what the hell Chamberlain actually did in the hideous history he was trying to hang on Obama. "He's as bad as the White House Press Secretary that doesn't even know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was," Matthews said later. Kevin James is an attorney, and the exchange was utterly satisfying. The incident, which can be viewed here, was added almost immediately to James' Wikipedia entry found here.   

Obama needs hillary more than hillary needs obama

Hillary Clinton is to MSNBC what teenage girl-fights are to Fox News.

They're obsessed and preoccupied with her. They may know better -- the attention Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann give her may be focus-grouped to snag some demo we can't even imagine.

But we're obviously not that demo: the endless speculation as to why she's still in the race: the ponderous surmising and apprising of her wile and guile is just bad teevee.

You don't know why she's still in the race, boyz? You think she (and Bill) are so self-deluded they don't know she's not going to get the nomination? And haven't known for several months?

What Hillary Clinton is doing is solidifying her impressive constituency and considerable power base in the Democratic party. As she should.
 

Junkyard dog tales: Obama's a druggy!

Sean Hannity got a knee-up with his shrinking listening audience, and the Fox Radio marketing department scored big Sunday night when Morley Safer, a Grand Lizard of CBS' 60 Minutes, referred to him as a "a junkyard dog."

They referred to him, are the operative words, here; and cause for high fives and endless mentions throughout his radio and teevee shows Monday.

(Whenever Hannity, or O"Reilly are named in the real media, they bump it with a trumpet for days, even when they're called something as unflattering as a irritable canine. Billo was as jealous  today as a poodle of Hannity's great 60 Minutes triumph. Hannity rubbed it in by shitting on Billo's hat).

Bernie ward to serve significant prison time

In a plea agreement, former KGO talk radio host Bernie Ward faces at least five years in prison on a single count of distributing child pornography.

Ward, 57, admitted to Judge Vaughn Walker as part of his plea agreement that he sent between 15 and 150 images of child pornography via e-mail.

The charge carries a mandatory minimum sentence of five years in prison and a possible maximum of 20 years. Doron Weinberg, Ward's defense lawyer, said he expects Ward to spend at least four years and three months in prison even with credit for good behavior.

Ward was to go before a jury in Walker's court on June 9. Originally charged last year with two other counts of receiving and attempting to send child pornography in January 2005. Those charges are to be dropped in the plea bargain.

The defense told the judge that Ward's use of pornography occurred "in a few weeks in 2004 and 2005" and reflected "an error in judgment rather than sexual proclivity."

Walker will sentence Ward Aug. 28.

Ward is a former Catholic priest and teacher, lives in San Francisco, is married and has four children. He worked in radio for about 20 years and had a loyal following for his weeknightly political show and Godtalk, on Sunday mornings. Both shows were on KGO.

He originally claimed that he was looking at the illegal material researching a book on hypocrisy. The defense filed a motion asking the court to allow Ward to argue that his actions were protected by the First Amendment.

The defense team concluded that courts would not allow that argument. "He thought it was legal to do it as a journalist, but our conclusion was that the courts wouldn't accept that," Weinberg told reporters Thursday.

"Bernie is not a sexual predator," he said.

But the indictment, once unsealed with its damning transcripts of online chats, made Ward's original claim of book research on hypocritical Republicans really hard to swallow, and knocked the underpinnings from any free speech defense.

Radio editor speaks: "you're an entertainer. so entertain us."

After Rush Limbaugh's Operation Chaos puffery, All Access Editor Perry Michael Simon writes these cold splashing words to would-be radio rainmakers:

"...But before we all get a big head and start to think that we're all kingmakers and steering the ship of mankind, it's probably a good time to remind ourselves why we're here, and that is:

1. To sell products for advertisers
2. By being entertaining
3. And make a lot of money
4. For our employers
5. And that's it.

Okay, there's also:

6. If we influence people into agreeing with us in the bargain, hey, that's gravy.

And maybe there's:

7. Chicks dig the radio personalities. (No, that's only for Top 40 jocks, and that involves request-line pickups, and that could also involve legal entanglements, so maybe it's better that talk radio hosts don't go there).

KUOW kicks commercial radio ass in seattle winter arbitron ratings

In a huge lead the likes of which we've never seen, public radio's talker KUOW  smashed the commercial opposition in the Seattle market.

Dig it:

• KUOW   6.1
• KUBE     5.2
• KRWM    4.8
• KIRO      4.1
• KOMO     3.8
• KING-FM 3.1
• KPLU      3.0
• KTTH     2.6
• KVI        2.3
• KPTK      1.6

A six share in this market? Unheard of.

We've been critical of KUOW's programming, and we're working on PD Jeff Hansen to sit down and talk to us. We believe that KUOW, while doing a great job snagging the dominant radio demographic (45 years and older) is not doing much to attract younger listeners.

But that said, we think that NPR, and KUOW in particular has proven that smart, commercial-free programming sells in this and most markets.

Friday oddems: no genius awards for ron & don; peggy nooner & kinky friedman; david postman rings once; analysis for what it's worth; water features on the am dial; hard-working white people; will kvi be sold to salem?

~~  OMG!! WTF?? LOL!! We heard it. "Why wouldn't I be" Don referred to his eponymous Ron & Don Show as "award-winning." The award-winning Ron & Don Show, he said. We checked the Soundies. We checked the Peabodys. We checked the MacArthur Genius Awards -- no luck. Could someone help?

(photo: Don & Ron, no geniuses, reportedly)

~~ take the analysis for what it's worth, but: Bill O'Reilly's political analysis team: Texas Jewboy Kinky Friedman, and Official Fox Negro, and Fake Liberal, Juan Williams is getting repeat Factor appearances, Blathersuggestion: Peggy Noonan and Merle Haggard could add some depth to this team. It's said that Merle is the only famous conservative male over 60 left in America that Peggy hasn't slept with... wonder why? (Photo right: Kinky Friedman)

Operation chaos is a big success

In another twist in the phony, shape-shifting "Operation Chaos," Rush Limbaugh proclaimed victory for his alleged part in manipulating Tuesday's elections.

As you know, Big Pants has been urging his listeners to register as Democrats and vote for Hillary Clinton to prolong the Democratic primary fight, and help nominate her -- the conventional wisdom for months was that Clinton was the weaker candidate.

TBTL: it lives!

Everyone wants to know: Is KIRO's show Too Beautiful to Live?

Seems the KIRO suits were high-fiving each other Monday: "We're the highest rated show on the station in the 18-34 demo," says Luke Burbank, the host of the new low-concept show (m-f, 7-10p).

This seems like a fine distinction, he says, "except that when we  took over the slot, it was at 0.00. And the whole idea behind TBTL was to get the youngsters."

Well, although they haven't yet seen their numbers separated out from the Phil Hendrie Show (the initial book lumps the shows together), it looks like they're doing just that.

Hillary: 'I'd Love To Talk To Rush'

Pushing on the Obama "wimp factor," Hillary Clinton phoned into a Charlotte NC talk show Monday and told the talk jock, "I'd love to talk to Rush... what do you think?"

We'd love to hear that one. Hillary's "interview" last week with Billo Reilly was a dream come true --especially for him; he hasn't stopped strutting and crowing about it ever since.

She stood up to him and didn't pander to him, unlike Obama's vanilla pudding showing on Fox News Sunday.

Meanwhile, Barack acts aloof and professorial; He's trying to run out the clock- a strategy that's working for him in these interminable primaries.

(We liberals love a sociology prof; someone who can answer a question in long, nuanced, and broad anthropological terms. We aspired to be one at one time since soc-anthro profs seemed to be getting laid more than anybody. Barack, meantimes should practice so when someone asks him a dumb question about wearing a flag pin, he doesn't choke up and deliver a hesitant and nearly incomprehensible treatise when he should dispatch the questioner in a few sentences).