So yesterday we called Dori Monson a child molester in a satirical post.
(photo: Dori Monson, creep factor: 11)
We stick by our post and the reasons we posted it.
We'd just endured two days of Dori Monson (KIRO m-f, 12-3p) insouciantly calling a 51-year-old man who'd married a 16-year-old girl, a child molester and a "perv." He used that catch-all descriptor, "creepy" a lot. (despite his own well-established creep-factor).
Had this guy been arrested and charged for that vile crime?
Au contraire: he had legally and with the permission of her parents married the girl according to good Christian principles.. (you know: He did the right thing, made an honest woman of her, even married her in a church).
That's a perfect info-storm for the kind of scum-scraping, tabloid radio Dori Monson does each day.
He went on one of his deliberate, mocking poutrages against the man calling him a pervert, and a child molester over and over again. His toady, Li'l Jake cut deafening shrieks from the girl's music vids so Dori could mock her singing and make repeated, leering jokes about her "big boobs." He called her parents crazy and bad parents and said if a 51-year-old man married his daughter, he'd kill him and go to prison gladly.
Listeners were sent to his blog where all the YouTubes and the boob pics awaited those with the prurient interest to take the time to come up and lear. We're sure his traffic hit the moon.
This was on KIRO! Remember KIRO? Owned by the LDS Church and once the responsible and sane station???
This is why neither Dori Monson nor KIRO will neither sue us nor even contact us with a legal threat. They know that what we wrote was protected speech, and that it simply mirrored exactly what Dori Monson himself said about someone else who wasn't a child molester. We'd love to have that legal fight- it would expose Dori's lurid appeals to the lowest denominators to a much bigger audience.
Apologize? Sure: Our only regret is that our satire wasn't funnier. When we're pissed, our sense of humor, always brilliant, can be dulled. For that, we'll apologize to our readers who expect better. (The rest of you, we're sure, loved it as well you should).
Was the May-December marriage weird? Only by modern standards. Marriages with that kind of age difference is a modern invention. Our grandfather, came out West, got himself established, and at the age of 49, went back to the midwest to marry our 17-year-old grandmother and bring her out here. It was common back in the olden days before all this modern sex degradation we always hear about from the religious right was forced upon us by the liberals. ("How dare you, sir? My grandfather was NOT a child molester. In fact we're pretty sure he and my grandmother never had sex and never would.")
Is there something abnormal or perverted about a man of any age attracted to a younger woman who has developed secondary sex characteristics? Absolutely not. It may be illegal depending on the age of the girl and which state you/she lives in, but abnormal... it ain't.
The young bride in this story certainly had developed characteristics, and men are hardwired to be attracted to and distracted by such displays.
(Having said all that, we're reticent to make presumptions about the intentions of the couple... but what the hell. Another question to be asked: Who might be using whom, here? Is it possible the young woman might be pressing her advantage to marry a man whose life of Hollywood contacts could help her burgeoning career? Or... maybe the two are using each other to get their names in the tabs and on the Dori Monson Show... after all, the actor's career is faded and could use some fluffing up and his bride's is just beginning).
Speaking of perfect storms for sensationalism- the last couple of weeks were pretty blustery on Dori's show. Besides his gratuitous "child molester" accusations, There were his repeated penis intenuendos throughout the hours and weeks of his Anthony Weiner McScandal "coverage." It too was puerile, overdone, boring and replete with Weiner's pictures waiting on his blog that sounded more salacious on the radio than they were in reality. There was Dori's sickening reaction to the South Carolina eugenics horror. "It should still be legal," he said.
How does this guy exist on Seattle radio? You'd think liberal Seattle wouldn't support our own homegrown Bubba the Love Sponge or Opie & Anthony... Our guess is that in reality, we don't, and that Dori's days, one way or another, are numbered.