Bob (whose name is neither
Billly nor Bob) worked long in
the Seattle radio market wearing a suit. He says
the experience broadened his worldview, showed him the error of his ways, revealed God's love, and greatly diminished possibilities for future employment.
by Billly Bob
I just used my red magic marker to fill out my absentee ballot. All Tea Party, baby! Now I've got time to surf the porn and answer more of your Northwest radio inquiries.
Dear Billy: I find it so refreshing
that we live in a country where a lovely talk-show host like KPTK's Stephanie
Miller can proclaim her sexual orientation and not be blacklisted by her
employer. I'm so happy for her. Aren't you? Signed, Les Behan
Dear Les: Happy? I've spent years trying to lure that woman to the
blue plastic pool behind my double-wide at the Trackside Mobile Villa in
Monroe... and now she proclaims she yodels in the canyon?!?
Dear Billy: I'm not sure what to
think about the racial outburst by so-called "Doctor" Laura on her
show recently. I guess I've heard worse, but still, its pretty offensive
for a mature white woman who claims to have strong religious convictions to use
the N-word multiple times, before and after a commercial break while talking
with a black caller. But you know what's troubling to me? How the
so-called radio trade publications, and radio in general, completely ignored
the story. "Inside Radio", "Radio Ink" and others mentioned
not one word about the incident. If this had been, oh, Joe Biden or Bill
Clinton, or any other politician it would have been non-stop blather on all the
talk shows. But I turned on both KTTH and KIRO the days after the ugly
outburst and not a peep. So my take is, the trade publications and the
talk hosts are all either hypocrites or cowards... or they agree with Dr. Laura
that it's okay to use the N-word. Signed, Northwest Radio Vet
Dear Vet: I agree. Stupid blunder by Laura saying that to a black caller. Me and my tea-baggin' buddies NEVER use the n-word if there's coloreds around.
Dear Billy: Great Caesar's Ghost! Have you seen the latest monthly ratings for Seattle on radio-info.com? KIRO-FM is now ranked 18th. I did a double-take when I first saw that, thinking it had to be some kind of mistake. But I checked a few other radio websites and same deal. KIRO-FM: #18. Can you think of any other situation in radio where someone fell that fast and far? Signed, Perry White
Dear Perry: There's only one thing in the history of radio that fell faster: KRKO's towers... when they got knocked over by those ELF dudes. Came down in 6 seconds.
Dear Billy: Dr. Laura repeatedly spits out the N-word to a black caller on a nationwide network radio show. Michael Richards (Seinfeld's Kramer) repeatedly spit out the N-word to a black audience member at a comedy club in front of a few dozen people. When Kramer did it, local right wing hosts played the bleeped audio over and over and over for days. The "Doctor" does it, and not a peep from the yakking ones. What's the difference between Laura Schlesinger and Michael Richards? Signed, Bob Sacamano
Dear Bob: Michael Richards is funny.
Dear Billy: What the hell happened to baseball ratings on radio? I remember a time when, no matter what station they were on, the Mariners would guarantee that station would be #1 (or close to it) in the summer. But in the July ratings, 710-ESPN is 17th. I realize the team stinks and they're not in the pennant race, but baseball ratings in Seattle haven't been this bad in 20 years. What in the wide, wide world of sports is goin' on? Signed, Taggart
Dear Taggart: I haven't been paying much attention to baseball this year, but the season's still young... I think Wakamatsu and Junior can turn this thing around.
Dear Billy: Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there some write-up recently on Blatherwatch about Bonneville dumping Sean Hannity in Salt Lake City and Michael Savage in Seattle because their views were too extreme for the Mormon owners? If so, how come Dr. Laura can spew out the N-word like a pig passing gas after feed-time, but her show is still on KTTH, a Bonneville-owned station? Signed, Lloyd Braun
Dear Lloyd: I will not tolerate writers to this column insulting swine, even if they have flatulence issues.
Dear Billy: Did you see the Gallup poll this week on America's eroding confidence in the news business, newspapers and TV news in particular. Only 25% of those surveyed say they have a great deal of confidence in the media. Personally, I think the harsh, partisan, strident and deliberately misleading rantings of talk-radio deserves a lot of blame for this. I just think people lump all media together and feel that the Ed Shultzes of the left and the Glenn Becks of the right are all exaggerating and lying. Do you agree? Signed, Jackie Chiles
Dear Jackie: No. The problem is them dang smarty pants TV reporters like Katie Couric always ambushing our leaders. I'll never forgive her for the way she blind-sided Sarah Palin and had the balls to ask her what newspapers she reads. Bitch!
Dear Billy: Remember when Janet Jackson's boob was accidentally exposed for a nano-second during the super bowl and the FCC leveled a heavy fine against the network even though it was an accident? Therefore, don't you think the FCC should level some heavy fines against all the stations that carried Dr. Laura who, not accidentally, but deliberately, and repeatedly, used the N-word? I mean, what's more offensive, some shrill racist spitting out the N-word, or a quick glimpse of an attractive young woman's breast? Signed, Kenny Bania
Dear Kenny: I'll get back to you after doing some research
Dear Billy: What's the big ratings difference between Seattle and San Francisco. In San Francisco, three of the top 5 stations are AM stations. And a 4th in the top 5 is the FM NPR station. So that means in SF, 4 of the top 5 stations are news or talk stations. How come in Seattle, there's not a single AM station or news or talk station in the Top 10! In fact, the highest rated AM or talk station in Seattle is KOMO, and they're number 12. Did KIRO switching to FM do that much damage to the AM band here? Or are the two cities just totally different. Signed, Jack Klompus
Dear Jack: It's all pot-smokin' hippies down there. Hell, they got a whole neighborhood named after Castro.
Dear Billy: I find it hilarious that, in the same week, two syndicated talk hosts on Seattle radio both come out of the closet. Stephanie Miller confirms that she's gay. And Dr. Laura confirms that she's racist. Don't you think that's an incredibly rare coincidence. Signed, Joe Davola
Dear Joe: How about that week in 2002 when Fred Ebert, Lou Pate and Scoot all confirmed that they were weird.