(Billy Bob (whose name is neither Billy nor Bob) worked long in the Seattle radio market wearing a suit. He says the experience heightened his sense of irony, and diminished his circle of friends. Recently, he and his faithful readers had a chat about how to fix KIRO, the station that threw it
(photo: Mr. Bob; thanks, Diane Arbus)
all away by flipping to FM, and leaving a sports talker in their heritage AM blowtorching spot on the dial).
Dear Billy Bob: The brass doesn't know what KIRO should be. They need to start by getting in a room and coming up with a real strategy. The station is all over the map. Shouldn't KIRO start by just figuring out what KIRO should be? Signed, Mr. Mission Statement.
Dear Mr. Statement: Hell No. That sort of stuff is for thinkers, not doers. Just get out there and throw guano against the wall. See what sticks. That namby-pamby strategy-wategy stuff is for losers.
Dear Mr. Bob: Was putting TBTL and Phil Hendrie on KIRO a huge mistake? Signed, L.Burbank.
Dear Luke: No. Not a mistake. Nothing says hip like 60-somethings from Salt Lake deciding what people in their 20's want to hear. As Brittany Spears often says, "With age, comes much wisdom." 60-something gray-hairs know that, more than anything else, 20-somethings really, really, really want to spend their after work hours listening to talk radio. Plus I hear guests on Phil's show that you never hear on the liberal mainstream media.
Dear Billy Bob: I think the switch to FM was a blunder. Look at the coverage maps. 710 AM is one of the best AM signals in the United States. Why waste that signal? Signed, A Broadcast Engineer.
Dear Engineer: Waste? Are you kidding me? Have you heard The Herd? Have you heard ESPN basketball scores? Where else are you going to get that stuff? Plus, they'll soon have Seattle University basketball games on 710. Buddy, you should stick to meter readings and EBS tests.
Dear BB: I get up in the morning and check the Internet. I get all the news and background on stories I care about from dozens of websites. KIRO re-hashes the same 5 or 6 headlines over and over, along with the same, usually incorrect, traffic information. Don't you think they should be go more in-depth, like NPR? Signed, Steve Scher
Dear Steve: So what if the NPR stations are doing well. Their listeners all eat brie and drink pinot noir. KUOW can have 'em.
Dear BB: The research I see says people want more local information. KIRO reduced their news staff and eliminated a bunch of live and local shows like David Goldstein. They should put the local shows back on and do more local news by hiring more reporters. Signed, Whipple
Dear Whipple: David Goldstein is a commie, and only people who eat brie and drink pinot noir like him. there's a reason "news" rhymes with "lose." Get over it and enjoy the syndication.
Dear Billy: It seems those guys in the afternoon talk non-stop about American Idol and Dancing with the Stars. I think they should either start talking about issues, preferably local issues, or go back to a news show. And that one guy with the mohawk is overbearing. Agree? Signed, Ron U.
Dear Ron: Hey, Tom Delay is a newsmaker and he was awesome on that dancing show.
Dear BB: I think the problem is ego. They made a big mistake switching to FM and their egos won't allow them to admit a mistake. Gentlemen, be human. Admit your mistake. Billy, what are the chances Bonneville brass would check their egos at the door, admit their blunder and go back to AM? Signed, Jim French.
Dear Jim "Freedom Fries: "About the same as the Pope giving up the big hat and converting to Mormonism.
Dear Billy: Wasn't it a mistake to drop the name NewsRadio? Signed, Branding Expert.
Dear So Called Expert: I'm calling BS on all the inside radio branding fooey. So what if "newsradio" was a 30-year heritage positioning statement? Big fricking deal. Oh, sure, Nike sticks with the swoosh and McDonalds keeps the arches and Mercedes insists on hanging onto that peace thingy on the hood. But really, how well are those companies doing? Why should KIRO be stuck with a boring old moniker like NewsRadio? Screw it. Let KOMO have it.
Dear BB: I miss the CBS newscast at the top of the hour. When KIRO dropped that, I dropped KIRO. Signed, Missing the Net.
Dear NetMisser: CBS employees are all communists or are sleeping with their staff. If you miss that crap so much, go pick up a copy of The Daily Worker.
Dear Billy: King County makes up 50% of the Arbitron defined Seattle Metro and, as you probably know, it's one of the bluest counties in the US. Plus KVI and KTTH are already conservative stations. Isn't going more conservative a programming blunder? Signed, UW Demographics Researcher
Dear Husky Researcher Guy: When you've got a Muslim president who pals around with terrorists and wasn't even born in America, you can't have enough stations telling the truth. If I was Bonneville, I'd fire Dave Ross and put Mike Siegel on 9 to noon. By the way, when your football team can beat LSU and Notre Dame, then maybe you'll have some credibility.
Dear Mr. Bob: I love your wisdom. You are so witty. You seem like a very sexy man. I think Frank Shiers is the best talk host I've ever heard on any station. What say ye? Signed, Mrs. Shiers.
Dear Madam: I agree with all your points.
Dear Mr. Statement: Hell No. That sort of stuff is for thinkers, not doers. Just get out there and throw guano against the wall. See what sticks. That namby-pamby strategy-wategy stuff is for losers.
Dear Mr. Bob: Was putting TBTL and Phil Hendrie on KIRO a huge mistake? Signed, L.Burbank.
Dear Luke: No. Not a mistake. Nothing says hip like 60-somethings from Salt Lake deciding what people in their 20's want to hear. As Brittany Spears often says, "With age, comes much wisdom." 60-something gray-hairs know that, more than anything else, 20-somethings really, really, really want to spend their after work hours listening to talk radio. Plus I hear guests on Phil's show that you never hear on the liberal mainstream media.
Dear Billy Bob: I think the switch to FM was a blunder. Look at the coverage maps. 710 AM is one of the best AM signals in the United States. Why waste that signal? Signed, A Broadcast Engineer.
Dear Engineer: Waste? Are you kidding me? Have you heard The Herd? Have you heard ESPN basketball scores? Where else are you going to get that stuff? Plus, they'll soon have Seattle University basketball games on 710. Buddy, you should stick to meter readings and EBS tests.
Dear BB: I get up in the morning and check the Internet. I get all the news and background on stories I care about from dozens of websites. KIRO re-hashes the same 5 or 6 headlines over and over, along with the same, usually incorrect, traffic information. Don't you think they should be go more in-depth, like NPR? Signed, Steve Scher
Dear Steve: So what if the NPR stations are doing well. Their listeners all eat brie and drink pinot noir. KUOW can have 'em.
Dear BB: The research I see says people want more local information. KIRO reduced their news staff and eliminated a bunch of live and local shows like David Goldstein. They should put the local shows back on and do more local news by hiring more reporters. Signed, Whipple
Dear Whipple: David Goldstein is a commie, and only people who eat brie and drink pinot noir like him. there's a reason "news" rhymes with "lose." Get over it and enjoy the syndication.
Dear Billy: It seems those guys in the afternoon talk non-stop about American Idol and Dancing with the Stars. I think they should either start talking about issues, preferably local issues, or go back to a news show. And that one guy with the mohawk is overbearing. Agree? Signed, Ron U.
Dear Ron: Hey, Tom Delay is a newsmaker and he was awesome on that dancing show.
Dear BB: I think the problem is ego. They made a big mistake switching to FM and their egos won't allow them to admit a mistake. Gentlemen, be human. Admit your mistake. Billy, what are the chances Bonneville brass would check their egos at the door, admit their blunder and go back to AM? Signed, Jim French.
Dear Jim "Freedom Fries: "About the same as the Pope giving up the big hat and converting to Mormonism.
Dear Billy: Wasn't it a mistake to drop the name NewsRadio? Signed, Branding Expert.
Dear So Called Expert: I'm calling BS on all the inside radio branding fooey. So what if "newsradio" was a 30-year heritage positioning statement? Big fricking deal. Oh, sure, Nike sticks with the swoosh and McDonalds keeps the arches and Mercedes insists on hanging onto that peace thingy on the hood. But really, how well are those companies doing? Why should KIRO be stuck with a boring old moniker like NewsRadio? Screw it. Let KOMO have it.
Dear BB: I miss the CBS newscast at the top of the hour. When KIRO dropped that, I dropped KIRO. Signed, Missing the Net.
Dear NetMisser: CBS employees are all communists or are sleeping with their staff. If you miss that crap so much, go pick up a copy of The Daily Worker.
Dear Billy: King County makes up 50% of the Arbitron defined Seattle Metro and, as you probably know, it's one of the bluest counties in the US. Plus KVI and KTTH are already conservative stations. Isn't going more conservative a programming blunder? Signed, UW Demographics Researcher
Dear Husky Researcher Guy: When you've got a Muslim president who pals around with terrorists and wasn't even born in America, you can't have enough stations telling the truth. If I was Bonneville, I'd fire Dave Ross and put Mike Siegel on 9 to noon. By the way, when your football team can beat LSU and Notre Dame, then maybe you'll have some credibility.
Dear Mr. Bob: I love your wisdom. You are so witty. You seem like a very sexy man. I think Frank Shiers is the best talk host I've ever heard on any station. What say ye? Signed, Mrs. Shiers.
Dear Madam: I agree with all your points.
KIRO is lost.
Dave is nothing less than an Obama bull-horn. Dori looks exhausted and his predictable show just drags for 3 long hours. Ron and Don MUST have some dirty laundry on management-the show is awful. Someone forgot to turn off the lights and Shiers shows up to an empty microphone.
I wouldn't be surprised to wake-up one morning and the station was gone.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 01:18 AM
HOLY SHIT!
They gave Obama the Nobel Peace Prize.
He is the god damn MESSIAH!!!!!!!
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 02:10 AM
Oh, that is sweet. He definately deserves it. He's one of the most inspiring leaders of any country let alone the US. Say what you will about his agenda, but he's definately an agent of unity. A big change for America after eight years of Rovian divide and conquer politics and middle finger foreign policy.
I'd like to see the looks on the faces of those Repuiblicans who cheered when the US lost the Olympics about a week ago. The sheer joy of Obama losing something was apparently more significant than their love of country.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 02:59 AM
It's a fucking sham! The choice of Obama is so ridiculous and so corrupt that it's cheapened the prize. It makes the Gore award look legitimate. Obama has done nothing for peace. We're still in Iraq. We're still in Afghanistran. We still have Guantanamo Bay. We're increasing troop levels in Afghanistan. We're still interrogating in 3rd party nations.
What a fucking joke!
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 03:12 AM
Why didn't they give it to Aung San Suu Kyi?
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 03:30 AM
What about Neda in Iran?
The Nobel Peace Prize Committee is made up of bunch of bufoons!
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 03:33 AM
It's the effort that counts. Whether he succeeds or not is almost beside the point.
Once again, if you're looking for reasons to disparage the high praise of an American president on the world stage, you hate America. A victory for Obama in the international community is a victory for America. Any attempt to cheapen this victory will only serve to give back a great gift that has been handed to the country.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 03:38 AM
I didn't see your 18 month qualifier for COBRA...
It's unacceptable to be out of wortk for 18 months. Stop making fucking excuses. Get a job at Strabucks, McDonalds or Home Depot.
I'm tired of lazy people.
Some guy just called Talifero show to claim that the explosions of the moon tonight will cause a "MOONAMI" and flood New York City! Great radio!!!
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 03:39 AM
Wrong thread. I have acquatences in the midwest. When the unemployment rate is high enough there are NO jobs, no McDonalds, no Starbucks. They all have a stack of applications and no operning. You live in a fantasy world where everything just magically works out. I'm tired of people like ytou blaming the individual for problems that extend to the entire society.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 03:51 AM
What's the Messiah going to do with the Million and Half Bucks?
...pay for the Air Force One gas to fly over there to accept the award.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 04:26 AM
That sound you hear is the heads of wingnuts exploding. hah!
Posted by: sparky | October 09, 2009 at 05:53 AM
Have we been here before, Sparky?
Posted by: joanie | October 09, 2009 at 07:07 AM
All they've got to do is put KIRO talk.. back on AM. Who knows how many people, like myself, no longer listen because they can't get decent reception. There's no need for 2 24 hour sports stations anyway.
KIRO's decline is less about the personalities and all about the signal.
Posted by: Upton | October 09, 2009 at 08:45 AM
Please explain why Aung San Suu Kyi or Neda were not picked?
These women are true heroes of peace not this "non-accomplished" celebrity Nobama.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Furthermore...did you notice all the Nobel Prize winners in Medicine were once again Americans...in fact Americans have once again swept all categories except for Literture... ..................................................
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 01:38 AM
Indeed Radio is Dead, now you can include a peace prize for our President.
Posted by: angelina jolie | October 09, 2009 at 11:10 AM
The Nobel Panel for awards such as Medicine, Physics & Chemistry are comprised of global leading scientists.
The Peace Prize Panel is comprised of a bunch of hairy nosed liberal hacks!
Most don't realize that Gore got the Peace Prize not Physics because his work has no scientific merits.
The Peace Prize is a sham. The nomination deadline for today's awards were Febriuary...Obama had been in office less than a month.
Obama doesn't even come close to measuring up to the accomplishments and fortitude of Aung San Suu Kyi.
Please name one accomplishment...Cash for Clunkers... HA!
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 11:17 AM
The steam erupting from your ears and the blood running out your nose is accomplishment enough.
Don't hurt yourself Radio is Dead, when you hear he will donate the prize money.
Posted by: angelina jolie | October 09, 2009 at 11:24 AM
What they're saying by awarding this prize is "be like this guy." It's as simple as that.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 11:46 AM
Yeah...the new Nobel Peace Prize award winning criteria:
... "be like this guy"
Forget about accomplishments or achievements...forget about earning something....just hand it to me...
Welcome to the "entitlement society"
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 11:56 AM
You've got to love Dori Monson's nonstop laughing about Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize. LOL.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 12:04 PM
Thats the whole point of the award; to motivate other people to follow the form of good role models.
It sounds like you're just mad because Obama won something. You were jumping for joy when he lost something.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 12:09 PM
Do you mean the entitlement which allows you to participate and when requests a donation, you snub your nose. The type of entitlement in which you believe what you wish is free, is free indeed?
Morceau de merde Radio is Dead.
Posted by: Grand Oligarh | October 09, 2009 at 12:11 PM
We don’t need anyone to make us laugh Radio is Dead, we have you. you are our lovable kook.
Posted by: angelina jolie | October 09, 2009 at 12:15 PM
I'm glad that I'm entertaining. The world has become so distorted that the truth is actually funny.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 12:17 PM
Honestly I would have been impressed had the guy stepped up to the mic this morning and said I don't deserve this award.
But the fact remains he's part of the elite privledged political class with no connection to the ordinary citizen.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 12:26 PM
Well he is POTUS. I'd hope he'd receive some added privilege and that he'd be connected with the political class. IMO he's far more connected to the ordinary citizen than that blue blooded reptile George Bush.
If a community organizer from the streets of Chicago is your idea of policitcal elite, I say give us more political elite.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 12:43 PM
Love singing with Dori...
La La La La La La La OOOOBama....La La La La La La La OOOOBama...La La La La La La La La La OOOOBama...
obama is wonderful world
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 12:46 PM
Scandinavia is helping us crush red america.
Posted by: Coiler | October 09, 2009 at 01:04 PM
What happened? I walked away from my desk and ra-dee-uh-oh has gone crackers???
Posted by: angelina jolie | October 09, 2009 at 01:09 PM
RayDeeUhOh won't admit that Obama actually did say he did not deserve the award today in front of the press, saying instead the award really goes to the spirit of all Americans who believe in peace (well, OK, Fox would never report that, so RDO would never see the truth). Did he see that Rush is now joining the Taliban, according to statements on his show? This should call for a visit to EIB Studios by the FBI.
Posted by: Drew | October 09, 2009 at 01:17 PM
He did step up to the microphone and say he ALONE didn't really deserve it and so he accepted it on behalf of all the people around the world who are willing to step up and help us work toward a more peaceful world.
Obama gets the Nobel....Bushie got a shoe thrown at him. It speaks volumes about what the rest of the world thinks.
Posted by: sparky | October 09, 2009 at 01:20 PM
I see Glenn Beck trying to burn down the statue of liberty next.
Posted by: Coiler | October 09, 2009 at 01:21 PM
We have friends in Oslo. They are on our side in our triumphant battle against the Reaganites
Posted by: Chavez | October 09, 2009 at 01:21 PM
Thank you Obama for saying you don't deserve the award. BUT actions speak louder than words. Obama must now decline the award...plain and simple.
Give it to Aung San Suu Kyi or Neda.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 01:23 PM
Refusing the award would be a great insult.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 01:31 PM
My Norwegian friends in Bergen emailed me this morning that the Panel obviously drank too much Aquavit the night before and also had diarrhea from some bad lutefisk.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 01:35 PM
Insulting the Nobel Prize committee is something the cons would like to do right now, foreign policy never being their strong point.
Posted by: Drew | October 09, 2009 at 01:35 PM
I didn't know cons knew how to email...pretty high-tech stuff for people that do not believe in education
Posted by: Drew | October 09, 2009 at 01:37 PM
ray-dee-ohh has exposed his real motives related to this issue. He is absolutely absorbed in jealousy.
Posted by: M.Steele | October 09, 2009 at 01:50 PM
Conservatives must feel like they're pushing up against the weight of the entire western world these days. Their ideology is a flaw that is progressively being ironed out with the encouragement of vritualy the entire planet.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 01:59 PM
Bush had this type of appreciation after September 11 2001, at home and abroad.
Just think, if bush did not plunge his country into Iraq he too would have been a recipient of this type of prize.
Posted by: M.Steele | October 09, 2009 at 02:08 PM
I love Dori's comparison of Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize with Millie Vanilli receiving a Grammy. LMFAO!
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 02:08 PM
Maybe they need another teabaggin' hoe down to declare their un-love for Oslo...what happened to the conservatives who really believed in celebrating a county's successes, instead of turning positives like this into imagined failures?
Posted by: Drew | October 09, 2009 at 02:11 PM
Yes, the entire world soon saw through Bush and Cheney's lies about Iraq. That's going to cost this country for a long time.
Posted by: Drew | October 09, 2009 at 02:14 PM
Hey Steele baby...any buyer's remorse....
1. Still in Iraq (remember Ron Paul's comment...it took 30 days to get into Iraq, so it will take 30 days to get out)
2. Increasing troop levels in Afghanistan
3. GITMO remains open and active
4. Patriot Act renewed
5. Economy remains in the tank with no end in sight...unemployment at 30 year high - 10%
6. Homeownership levels plunging at record pace (Floreclosures at a record pace)
7. Record deficit levels
8. Record debt levels for future generations
Keep drinking the Kool-Aid Steele!
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 02:16 PM
If Bush would have stayed focused and caught bin Laden in the first place, that would have earned him the respect of 20 Nobel Prize winners. But he never wanted bin Laden in the first place.
Posted by: Drew | October 09, 2009 at 02:17 PM
Conservatives really becoming unhinged over all of this. I think we're witnessing the mental breakdown of an entire class of people. Everyday headlines have become sort of a psychological warfare to middle America. The difference with Bush was that the world rebuked him, there was a healthy counterweight that kept progressives sane through it all. The conservatives have nothing, but maybe Glenn Beck, a full sized baby figure or Rush Limbaugh, a rather unlikeable fat old rich guy in Palm Beach Florida.
Former heavyweights (so to speak) like Michelle Malkin who used to pass themselves off as intelectuals are starting to look emotionaly unstable, as evidenced by the joy they expressed when the US lost the Olympics. These are not pundits, they are emotionaly disturbed obsessives in need of counseling and less free time.
I fear that some deep end conservatives are going to make attempts on Obama's life. Inspirational figures often seem to be the target of assissination or murder by state, Lincoln, Kennedy, Kennedy again, MLK, Benazir Bhutto, Jesus, John Lennon, etc. They've even been describing Obama as the "Messiah", implying that he's a threat to the figure of Jesus himself. I will be very sad if Obama gets cut down.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 02:28 PM
AA you are hilarious!
I look forward to another night of back and forth.
Posted by: Radio is Dead | October 09, 2009 at 02:32 PM
I had to work late, that's not my usual.
Posted by: AuthenticAndrew | October 09, 2009 at 02:39 PM
RayDeeUhOh, hasn't the bus passed your stop a long time ago?
Posted by: Drew | October 09, 2009 at 02:40 PM