The Dori Monson Lifetime Goals List

A young man dreams his dreams. And Tuesday Dori Monson, former King of Seattle Talk Radio (KIROFM m-f, 12-3p) announced that he''d he go to zero gravity on a Celebrity Space Flight, June 27th.

(photo: maximum dorkitude)

With oodles of the feigned emotions he's famous for, Dori admitted he felt all "quivery" about it but allowed that he'd man-up to the challenge because it's for charity (Fred Hutch) and that space flight had been on his lifetime goal list for 29 years!

When I was about 18 years old, I started my lifetime goals list. I wrote down about a hundred things that I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime. At the time, most seemed impossible. The list has evolved over the years. I've added many new goals - and eliminated those that are no longer important to me. But I have accomplished about 40 of the things on that original list.

From a source we got an old hard drive and Dori's and found this historic, early version of The Dori Monson Lifetime Goals List [with new goals and some eliminated because they've been achieved or are no longer important to him]

• Ride my bicycle without the t-wheels
• get a bike that's not pink
• tell a girl something
• meet JP Patches
• 4 feet tall!
• change my name to a boy's name

• learn to dribble
• tell a big boy something
• Make a basket
• change my name to Craig

• tell my mom to "get bent"
• touch a girl NOT on the arm
• my own subscription to Playboy!
• ride my bike to Wallingford
• Change my name to Jason
• 4'2"!

• Talk to a girl
• learn the Bugaloo
• have sex with a girl but not with her arm
• Change my name to Wolf
• Be 5 feet tall!!

• cancel my Playboy subscription
• change my name to Philip
• shoes with lifts

(photo: a young man & his dreams)

• Buy a Harley
• Change my name to Harley
• Buy a Vespa
• Change my name to Vespa

• make the big guys talk to me
• Boots?

• Join the Marines
• Join the Army
• Join the Coast Guard
• Join Costco

• Make a million $ a year
• Become a celebrity
• Become a Rotarian

• Be on TV
• Be the new JP Patches
• Be the new Bruce King
• Be the new Wayne Cody
• Be the King of Seattle TV
• Change my name to Bart

• talk to nuns on the radio
• get my own talk radio show
• Be the King of Seattle Talk Radio
• Be the King of Gutter Helmet
• Be the Voice of Bartell's
• kick Dave Ross's ass

• Get a turtle
• get a Labradoodle
• get a Pitrador
• Get a Chihuahuan Husky
• score free dogfood

• Jump out of an airplane
• Jump out of a hydroplane
• Meet Randy Mantooth
• go bungee-jumping
• learn balloon animals!

• Fix my lip
• fix my hairline
• Vasectomy!!!
• lose 20 lbs.
• Make Seattle sorry for everything they ever said about me
• Make all those big guys sorry for everything they ever said about me

• Get out of Ballard
• move to Mount Lake Terrace
• move to Lake Forest Park
• go into MySpace

 

Comments

[AuthenticAndrew]

Is getting boned by an oldies station in the ratings after having murdered and assumed the life of another oldies station a lifetime goal? That one is apparently sitting there if he wants it.

[joanie]

Is that . . . Dustin Hoffman?

710DORI was kinda cute. Exceptin' for the early receding hairline.

Good list, Michael. It made me laugh.

You have to wonder if music was ever out of fashion. Perhaps the Arbitrons were always wrong.

[sparky]

hi-larious.

[Observer]

I find it interesting that he (Dori) has asked for a couple of volunteers to go with him on the Zero-G ride at $7,500/ea.
If you look at the Z-G web site the price is just under $5K, so is this how Dori gets to cover his cost? Hmmmm, just sayin.

[Carl9]

Dori Space Invader. Makes me quivery, too. I had almost forgotten about the little guy. Every timethe ratings go down, he has a history of jumping out of something.

[youwouldknowmeifyousawmedori]

He was covering that backwash hairline with that "cas" no-comb splash-over-the-forehead look back then. No wonder we called him "thumper" back in the day. What's he doing now w/that forehead? is it plugs or a rug?

[Saigon66]

Is Dori still on the radio? I thought he moved away.

[AprilMayJune]

He probably thinks that by going on a "Celebrity" Space Flight he becomes a celebrity. In his own mind only. He was kind of cute when he was a youngster with a girl's name.

[HoChiMinh]

It appears you have a crush on the King of Seattle talk radio.

[B20]

Dorki looks like the Roaming Gnome...LMAO

[Tigsnort]

I just realized, if you put Dori in a long blonde wig and glasses he'd look exactly like Garth from Wayne's World

[inwestseattle]

you forgot "getting tased" (checked off)

[KS]

And the worst sin of all (according to the blogger and resident liberal progressives) - Dori is a conservative...

Cute - however, it seems like someone might have pirated his facebook home page. Just sayin'

[Tigsnort]

KS: It's not that he's a conservative. It's that he embraces the most destructive aspects of neo-conservatism, which isn't real conservatism anyway. Also he's an over-the-top outrage monger. Plus he's a tiny, tiny man.

[KS]

Do you have any documented evidence of him being a neo-con ?

Neoconservatives are progressive conservatives, as Bush was. Yes, true conservatives are not neo-cons. Obama is a progressive liberal.

They are both doing one helluva job of running this country into the ground, while many don't have a clue what is going on right now before your very eyes. Just as long as Bush isn't doing it, its cool is the general attitude espoused by the left. Wait until North Korea makes us look like pacifist wimps and does something destructive to us - there's a good chance something like that will happen, just like it did with Carter. Maybe then you will be humiliated enough to critically think for a change...

[Bill]

Change my name to Balki.

[M.Steele]

KS, I agree, new cons are more progressive than their paleo-brothers. It’s more complicated than that, as far as I can see. Hyperbole aside, what should we do about Korea? Is there a republican with an idea that you wish to share with us?

[M.Steele]

I wonder what Monson will do when this stunt dosen't pull them out of the pit of the quagmire. after all he is the king....kings should be able to work this, right?

[M.Steele]

opps...kinda funky pre-post.

I wonder what Monson will do when this stunt dosen't pull them out of the quagmire. after all he is the king....kings should be able to work this, right?

[wilbur]

Meet Randy Mantooth lol

[HoChiMinh]

DORI (Dori Monson Show, KIRO-FM 97.3) currently going ballastic about the idea of painting all of the rooftops of the world white in hopes of helping with global warming.

[Tigsnort]

It's outrageous, OUTRAGEOUS I TELL YOU!! Say, ever hear of a product called Gutter Helmet?

[AuthenticAndrew]

He should be going ballistic about his sinking ratings.He claims he has infinite job security in the misteps of local govt. but if nobody is listening he's going to be infinitely pro bono publico. It's sad to say but that's what happened to Mike Webb. He kept talking even when there was nobody left listening. It can and will happen in time.

[Big Dick]

Fuck you AA! Monson is the only reasonable voice in this market. Who the fuck wants to paint their roof white. Who wants to give this tyrannical government more money to waste. The guy's ratings are at the top. He never begs for callers. Shut your big fucking trap!

[Dave (not dave ross)]

many of us who own flat roofs on commerical buildings (i can tell you a flat roof in the pacific northwest is a bad idea) do paint them white or silver because its well known that it prolongs the life of the roof by up to twice as long, and the building is much cooler. global warming or not it is a fantastic, proven idea.

[A6]

We did the same thing on our 3 buildings, and it significantly lowered our A/C bill. It was something we should have done much sooner.

[KS]

The very idea of Government now telling us how to run our lives, when things have gone well is infuriating. We may no longer have the freedom to have a colored roof - maybe you say that is not a big deal - alrighty then.

Welcome to an emerging nanny state. There are two choices here; 1) fall into place like good little serfs that you will be OR 2) Speak out and express displeasure with Government intrusion into our lives in a civil manner for change.

This is way more than a liberal vs. conservative issue. Time to WAKE UP and smell the coffee !

[Joe Blough]

Face it, without Dori to push around this would been an empty spot. You need Dori too I guess!

[Tommy008]

Last week Monson was chortling and yukking it up on the air as he cheered on a mob of neighborhood goons featured in a news story. They chased and gave a brutal beatdown to an alleged child rapist. The key word here is alleged. Not that it would be permissabnle to engage in vigilateism even if the whole mob had eyeballed the guy doing it. You chase him down and hold him until police arrive. Monson cheers these knuckleheads on but hasn't the guts to ever participate himself in such a beatdown. Don't forget- this is shte same Monson that said he believed he should have a right to open a "whites only" diner if he ever sees fit to do so.

[jaonie]

Hey tommy how you doin on your predictions about Bryan Suits tenure and KFI? lmfao

[Tommy008]

710KIROfm Sportsacster Moose Monson Owned by Lib Activist Lawyer If you want to know why we at Blatherwatch mostly consider Monson a jackass, and why Mike Webb publicly called him "this idiot", listen to a podcast of his hour today where he dEbated the issue if access to the Plan B pregancy avoidance pill with a female lawyer. He believes a pharmacist has the right to refuse filling a Plan B prescription if he has a religious bee up his butt about it. The lawyer queried him whether a pharmacist should be able to refuse to fill an order of medicine for Tay-Sachs Disease (which targets only Jews) because he believes through his religion that Jews are evil. Brainiac Monson relied "Oho! BUT jEWS are a protected class!" the lawyer replied "uh excuse me, womwn are a protected class and last time I checked only women can get pregnant." It just got uglier after that, for the wee one. The lawyer asked him if he was in favor of a Scientologist pharmacist having the right to not fill an order of anti-depressive drugs. "Yepper! Yessireebob!" Monson replied , leaving many embarrassed for him, including the lawyer. Remember, this is the same knucklehead that stated on his radio show that he believed he should have the right under the law to open a "whites only" diner if he so chooses.