Deep-fried monkeys, dori monson, wingnuts, bogus documents, and the decline of the american empire...

After a holiday show devoted to deep-frying monkeys, Myron "Dori" Monson (KIRO m-f, 12-3p) left his audience with a grim forecast and discussion of an anti-democracy "historical document" that's been batting around the internets since a younger, more fun Dori was broadcasting from a hot tub at the Home Show.

(Myron "Dori" Monson "with a wattle and a quack.")

Right-wingers always drag this out and send it around to salve their fevered brows when they lose an election. Since you can't trust the pointy-headed history "perfessors" in the 19th, 20th and particularly the 21st centuries, the document purports to quote a phony-baloney 18th century historian who wrote what they want to hear in two-bit words.

The message? Conservatives didn't lose in November: the country (along with Western civilization) was already lost. The Republic is right on schedule in its dive for the shitter because we've let the evil of democracy creep in; that is: the unwashed majority won the election. Right-wingers always hearken to this when they get run out of power. You never hear, however, about this disapproval of democracy when Tim Eyman's gets legislation on the ballot.

We say "purports" because this quote, (see below) supposedly based on the fall of the Athenian Republic 2000 years ago, has been attributed to Arnold Toynbee, and others but most often to Alexander Tyler  (actually Tytler), a Scottish historian at the University of Edinburgh back in conservatism's heyday. He was real, but there's no proof he ever wrote it -- Snopes researcher Mike Powell concluded, "The quote is very likely fictitious."

No matter to Dori Monson, he quotes all Tyler's convincing-sounding biographical data and shakes his wattle with outrage. (Dori's wattle has fleshed-out and loosened up with his constant negative head-shaking and full-throated, weekdaily keening).

This "from bondage-to-bondage-via-too-much-say-so-by-the-majority " is but talk radio fodder -- and says more about the decline of talk radio than it does about the decline of the country.

We suspect this was hoaxed-up by right-wing think-tanker, or a "history" post-grad at Bob Jones University. It should be treated the same as the threat of "burundanga-soaked business cards," or the "proposed ban on religious radio programming, or the "inevitable Fairness Doctrine."

Here's the bogus document:

1. A democracy is always temporary in nature: it simply cannot exist as a pemanent form of government.
2. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.
3. From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.
4. The average age of the world’s greatist (sic) civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years.
5. During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

• From bondage to spiritual faith
• From spiritual faith to great courage
• From courage to liberty
• From liberty to abundance
• From abundance to complacency; From complacency to apathy;
• From apathy to dependence;
• From dependence back into bondage

Actually, our Republic has teetered for a few years -- and it wasn't from too much input from the people! It was at the hands of a secretive president who gathered power by ignoring democratic constitutional checks, and expanding executive powers precipitously.

It seems that to Dori, and his side that it's OK when their own presidents' give their friends and "themselves generous gifts from the public treasury."

Meanwhile, in this election, apathy just took a huge hit; the shift to dependence on government is being peddled by this very administration.

Meanwhile, Dori Monson peddles this crap to right-wingers as a sop to their post-election grieving; and boost his imperial standing as King of Seattle Talk Radio.

Comments

[The Beast Rabban (formerly Gay Gary)]

wingnuts ... wattle ... quack ... wattle ... crap

Uh-oh spaghetti-o! Someone woke-up on the wrong side of the futon!

[AuthenticAndrew]

It truely hurts my head to imagine how dumb a person must be to buy any of that.

Here's a good rule of thumb; if someone tries to make a case based on comparisons to history while providing NO ACTUALT EVIDENCE THAT THIS VERY THING IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW then you can safely assume they are completely full of shit. Every conspiracy theorist says "because conspiracy happened in the past it must therefor be happening now" or "because Rome fell we must also fall." OK thanks! Have we hit the ground yet? I'm waiting.

To say that such and such happens over the course of 200 years without further explaining how that span of time relates to the process itself is basicly admitting that they have found coincidence and have no idea what is really happening, and then they take their half assed brain fart proceed to declare themselves autorities on matters of logic.

Then to say that any government is anything other than temporary is idiotic. Do they really expect the US to last for infinity? The sun will burn out before then.

[Rich]

My god, he is an ugly little man.

[EdmondsDan]

Careful Andrew, lest the Beast train his wit on you.

[WILD BILL]

BLAM, here's from Dori's My Northwest blog; it's a point he made on air, as well. Your omission just shows you have an ax to grind, as far as Dori is concerned.
"Now, I will note that the origin of the quote has not been confirmed. Snopes can find nothing definitive from a "Professor Tyler". I don't want to get bogged down in that. I would like to know if you think that description of the evolution of a democracy is accurate." D. Monson

I don't consider myself Right leaning, at all, and I don't feel that Dori's intent was to say that history was repeating itself. Instead, I feel he was generating conversation (pretty clever for a TALK SHOW, huh BLAM?) so that people could discuss if the USA is in decline.

Frankly, teetering on the abyss of an economic depression, with two long, bloody, expensive wars going, with crime and violence spiking up, with stressed, broke, scared folks everywhere you turn, with local corruption on the rise, with incompetent leadership still in charge, it's a good topic for talk radio.

BLAM, your, "The message? Conservatives didn't lose in November: the country (along with Western civilization) was already lost," reveals more about the bats on your belfry than anything about Dori.

Dori is in the entertainment business, and he knows it, and he's REALLY GOOD at it. Dori isn't posing as a pundit, he's excelling as a radio talk show host.

Anyway, from the Panic of '08, to be followed by??????

[WILD BILL]

SORRY, off the topic, but I haven't played on this nationally acclaimed site for a while,,,,BUT, the The Beast Rabban, formerly Gay Gary? What like in Dune? The big sweaty fat guy?

[joanie]

Andrew and Bill, Dori's intention as are the intentions of most rightwingers is to get this stuff out there. It is all emotion and little reason so needing little evidence to believe.

It is nice of you, Bill, to give Dori the benefit of the doubt. But, why not chew on something that makes more sense than this sophistry which only feeds emotions and does nothing to address reason.

Something of substance and with relevance and evidence? Now that would be interesting.

Want to talk about something emotional? For entertainment? Dori is oily. So is Rossi.

[The Other Kevin]

SORRY, off the topic, but I haven't played on this nationally acclaimed site for a while,,,,BUT, the The Beast Rabban, formerly Gay Gary? What like in Dune? The big sweaty fat guy?

(1) Some weeks ago Gay Gary admitted he was straight and he didn't live in Capitol Hill, that he was a junior or senior at some eastside high school.

(2) Immediately after admitting this he changed his name to "The Beast Rabban." Why? No one is quite clear.

(3) After his name change he also changed his entire personality and went from a giggling gay guy who made suggestive jokes about everything and came-on to everyone to an elitist asshole who insults everyone in almost impossibly condescending tones.

(4) The old Gay Gary would play tickle-monster with Jennie and do this fag-hag thing where he'd always hit on her and compliment her. They would giggle back and forth at each other. The "new" Gay Gary spends all his time telling her she is a "b word" and how he hopes she drops dead, etc. etc. etc. Now they scream back and forth at each other.

I suspect this is all a marketing gimmick by the webmaster since the threads with 50, 60, 70 posts all have some provocative comment by him while the 10 and 15 comment threads don't.

All I know is that this creepy, bizarre melodrama is probably the only thing that keeps me coming here since they stopped talking about radio.

[dana]

hmmmmmmmm....could Gay Gary really be Dori's avatar?

[Duffman]

As I've said before this blog and it's frequent Dori'esq topics are just music to his ears, and $dollars to his bank account thru his ratings. He LOVES it and again, his only fear is being ignored. Ramble on folks.

[Duffman]

Oh, and btw speaking of radio personalities...T008 are you going to be big enough to own up to your previous prediction on KFI's Bryan Suits? A mea culpa is in order, don't you think or are you going to somehow 'rationalize' your way out of it...or expect everyone to ignore or forget your inaccuracy. C'mon...be bigger than the 'little man' you constantly criticize (Dori) and admit you were fricken WRONG!!!

[Duffman]

...finally, Good Morning Sparky; hope your day is a good one.

[Please note: post sans insults]

[AuthenticAndrew]

Someone should call bullshit when they see it. Saying nothing can be seen as an admission that it's all true.

[KS]

As Duff says, Dori loves the attention - seems like he is doing something right if he keeps hitting a nerve on this blog. Doesn't Monson draw more local listeners than either Hannity or Medved ?

[Tommy008]

sorry Duffster. you lose. if you look at the KFI website you'll see that Suits is listed not as The Bryan Suits Show, but as Kennedy and Suits . They had to team him with a woman to make him sellable.I don't think that's what Suits, he of the huge ego had in mind. HE CLEARLY CAN'T CARRY A SHOW ON HIS OWN, IN THE BIG LEAGUES . NO NEED TO ADMIT ANYTHING.I WASN'T WRONG.

[Tommy008]

i went a few blocks down the street yesterday from Scottrae to the ETrade brokerage office to open a new account and advance my career. as i was chating with the desk man he asked me if i had a degree in Occupational Health and Safety. i said no andhe nixed myapplication.no degree no account. he pressed a buzzer under the counter and Frank Shiers came out of a back room. "Sorry Mr.X ,"Shiers said,in that nasal, prudish voice. "A degree in Occupational Health and Safety is needed for some entry level jobs and most advancement opportunities."

[Duffman]

No, I don't lose T008...and everyone herein can recall you said that Bryan Suits wouldn't last 6-months at KFI...ergo YOU LOSE; can you not admit that?

[Duffman]

Come on Tommy...be bigger than some others herein and admit when you're wrong; show your forthright character.