KUOW & NPR's cult of anti-personality -- a losing strategy

  Public radio is, or at least tries to appear, immune to the personality cultishness of their commercial media counterparts.

KUOW, our own NPR talk station particularly strives to be personality-free and directly or indirectly above the stink of self-promotion, or any promotion for that matter.

Sometimes this Quakerish posturing is little more than just stupid.

Weekday, (m-f, 9-11a) the morning blab show, is known for award-winning coverage of BC politics, appearances by world famous hydrologists, and presided over by Steve Scher, whose sexy, sexy, weekdaily pedantry causes dampness in drawers in drawing rooms 'cross the fruited plain.

It's the highest rated show in that important midmorning slot up against Rush, and Dave Ross.

They send out a weekly email each Friday hailing the schedule for the next week.

We receive this, and the the write-ups are so ho-hummable we're rarely stirred enough to announce upcoming shows on BlatherWatch. But a recent one took the cake

A week ago Friday the e-mail contained this gripping show topic for Wednesday last:

Is Humor Genetic? An Unofficial Exploration (with much Joke Telling)
Is the ability to be funny learned or genetic? Maybe your sense of humor is very similar to your dad's. Perhaps you tell a good joke because your grandma could spin a good yarn. Today we unofficially explore the notion of humor and the family line. If you think you're funny: prove it to us. Tell us some jokes! Regale us with stories of the funny in your family line. The practical jokers, the comedians, the ridiculous storytellers -- they're in your family! Tell us about them and how they've influenced you.

Sounds dull, doesn't it? We couldn't imagine anything more boring than a bunch of caffeinated NPR oldsters telling jokes they might have heard from their grandmothers. (made worse, we figured, because Scher would sooner cut off a testicle before cutting off a boring caller).

But when the show came on, the soporific topic went out the window: and who was on the broadcast? None other than Pat Cashman and son Chris Cashman, who is also a comedian and an award-winning one at that.

Pat Cashman is a comedy mountain in the Pacific Northwest radio  range. Also the dotty keeper of many a morning zoo of radio past; and an Emmy winning, writer, actor and public speaker. One of the giants of late, great Almost Live! a Seattle-based comedy show which ran for 15 seasons on the teevee.

If BlatherWatch had known about this even 10 minutes before it started, we'd have shouted it to the roof tops. Pat's not working in radio right now, and he's one of the most original comedic voices in this town.

To have him and his son batting it around for any hour was radio history. They made lots of jokes, talked about life among the Cashmans, and gave a rare glimpse into their truly cracked minds... together, on the same show. And we'd been lulled into believing it was to be something else altogether.

(Steve was, as always, accommodating and smart-alecky with deliberation and little knock-off flourishes of Jon Stewart. Listen to the podcast here).

We've actually kvetched about this to Scher and others around KUOW. Often we're lolling abed in the early morning half asleep in our frog pajamas with Morning Edition, and Steve comes on to promo his show which comes right after the news at 9. He'll ask a really tedious hypothetical like, "Are you ready for global warming? Have you got plenty of cotton-wear, and sunscreen? We'll talk to a skin specialist and a movie maker who might have some ideas."

(photo: Steve Scher when he worked at The Buzz)

The movie maker, of course, turns out to be Al Gore in studio -- and we miss him altogether because we decided not to interrupt our morning work to listen to someone preach about sunscreen.

OK, we admit we hyperbolized that last story, but the cult of no-personality effects staffers, too. It's in the NPR Koolaid. In this phony, non-competitive, anti-promotional atmosphere, they don't get to develop professionally the way other media pros get to.

Maybe it's a way that effectively keeps them down in the mediocre wages, and relative anonymity.
Without promotion, they never get too big for their britches, demand more money or leave.

More than one on-air public radio person has told us they found it hard to move on because they didn't feel they had much to offer anyone else.

In the end, this is a losing business strategy. And if you think KUOW ain't a business, ask if they've got some sponsorships they'd like to sell you.

Comments

[Duffman]

Actually, the pic is of Pat Cashman...and I know Bla'M, that was a test, right?
I agree with the talent of Pat Cashman; we had him MC a company function some time ago and he was incredibly funny and very knowledgeable. Always enjoyed him the most on Almost Live.
KUOW is a non-event in my life.

[Fremont]

Yep, the pic appears to be snuggypat. Good job, Duh-f! (It's painfully obvious that KUOW is a "non-even" in your life...)

[Duffman]

...and 'event' too; thank you.

[AuthenticAndrew]

I believe the reason KUOW gets good ratings is not because it's good radio, but because the commercials we're subjected to by commercial stations are so obnovious and repetitive that they negate the pleasure of listening to the station. NPR is 90% mediocre radio / 10% other while every other station is 50% good radio / %50 awful commercials.

[fango]

Here here to the obnoxious spotload on commercial stations. they are milking these stations dry and chasing thousands of us to NPR. Brilliant!

[Sinbad]

KUOW is a funny little Boomer kingdom run by risk averse people who can't see past their own retirement. They've cornered a market today, but it's the same one they've had cornered for years. It's very short-sighted.

[nevets]

The 8th Grade Science Class

The 8th grade science teacher, Mrs.. Sparky, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 7 times its normal size when stimulated?"

No one answered until Joanie stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 8th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.

Mrs.. Sparky ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 7 times its normal size when stimulated?"

Joanie's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!"

Mrs.. Sparky continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Kevin stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 7 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs Sparks said, "Very good, Kevin," then turned to Mary and
continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

1) you have a dirty mind,
2) you didn't read your homework ; and
3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed!

[nevets]

How about another one. Hopefully I wont mess this one up.

Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you. "

"Yes," she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a
stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex
against a fence. I'll just keep and eye on them so there's no trouble.

So he follows them.

The elderly couple walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.

Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most
furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.

This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they
both collapse, panting on to the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half and hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some
sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

[chucks]

OK steven, that was about the best chuckle I have had for a while.
Thanks

[Myaushka]

The Weekday used to piss me off when I first started listening to KUOW after moving to Seattle from Washington, DC. It was specifically the topics (I remember they talked a lot about boats) and Steve's manner.

Now, 3 years later, I think I'm in love with Steve. I just want to also hear Stephen Malkmus on his show.