Mo Rocca: luke burbank is the great hope for all the sluts out there!

"Remember how Stella got her groove back?" asked Mo Rocca. "Well, that's how Luke got his hymen back -- that's the story of Luke Burbank."

We'd caught up with Mo Rocca Saturday afternoon at his place in Chelsea to ask him about Burbank. They're friends.

(Truthfully, we hadn't "caught up" with him at all. He wasn't running; our talk was prearranged; he was washing his socks, and picking up around his apartment, not scurrying or trying to escape. What's more, we weren't in New York; we were in Seattle phoning New York. We wrote that about "catching" Rocca because we thought, as have so many interviewers before us, that it'd make us sound breezy and maybe a little equal to this urbane, funny, famous man. It was supposed to be a " O busy, busy us FINALLY connected with busy, busy Mo" sort of thing... it was cheesy, sorry.)

Mo Rocca, 39, is a veteran comedian and CNN political commentarian known for breathing the gift of life into Larry King during the 2004  presidential conventions and appearing all over the teevee as correspondent on The Daily Show; an Animal Planet host; a judge on Iron Chef. He is known for incisive commentary and impeccable grooming. He recently summed up Barack Obama: "I trust a man with big ears." Rocca's blog, Only Half as Tedious as the Regular News can be found at MoRocca180.com.  

So what's this about Luke Burbank, creator of KIRO's peculiar new show, Too Beautiful to Live (m-f, 7-10p) regaining his virginity?

We've been digging into Luke Burbank's past and found he was friends with Rocca after a few years as co-panelist on NPR's news game show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, (KUOW Saturdays, 10-11a).

Dredging, as always, for dirt in the eye of the beholder, we asked Rocca if his effusive, but glib-sounding praise (the "John Cusack allure," the "boyish charm," etc.) for Luke would be different if he'd known Luke had been a teenage baby-daddy?

Turns out he already knew. "At first," he says, "I thought it was some kind of gimmick. Like 'Hey, I'm a really smart guy who got into trouble as a teenager.' Did it change how I think of him? No. It actually kind of impresses me -- such a responsibility!"

That said, it's hard for Rocca to imagine himself having had a child at 17, the age when Burbank's loins reportedly pollinated the flower that bore the fruit (an apple we're told) which is now a 13-year-old girl named Addie.

"All those things I wanted to do?" says Rocca, "I just wouldn't've be able to get done. I'd have had to throw my to-do list out the window."

(photo: Luke Burbank, still nutty, but is he still slutty?)

But there was detectable envy in his voice. "He's the guy who looks like he just walked out of The Peach Pit on Beverly Hills 90210." (That was a reference we had to pretend to get. Turns out The Peach Pit was the hangout for those randy teens on that randy '90's teevee show we never set eyes on).

"It's kind of unfair," he says. "Luke's still young, fresh-faced, and exciting and new. I'd expect him to be bitter and bedraggled. And inside he might be. But the package is all there on the outside."

Rocca, a well-known soldier in the values wars, says that by merely looking at Burbank, you'd never know he was an example of  "... so much of what's wrong with this country." Or that he'd been "slutting around as a teenager, basically a character in Trainspotting."

He remembers how President Reagan talked about welfare queens and their Cadillacs. "He might as well have been talking about Luke the Welfare Daddy and his VW beetle. He was a complete suck on social services."

But if nothing else, Mo Rocca is redemption.

"He pulled it together -- it's like he got his cherry back! He's the great hope for all the sluts out there, who kinda want to clean up their image, and seem fresh again.

Mr. Mo (as we call him, now that we've hung out) gave us new perspective on Luke Burbank. Maybe sluttiness is nurture, not nature. Maybe you can get back to innocence.

Hope for sluts... the audacity!

(Rocca ruined this shitty little epiphany (he might have been drunk) by finishing up our talk with, "I hope I've used this interview to promote myself more than Luke. Luke is my Trojan Horse. I simply used Luke as a conduit to get to BlatherWatch").

Comments

[Beryl]

Gee, if Mo Rocca likes Luke Burbank, why don't I?

[Gay Gary]

Is Mo Rocca responsible for all these Luke Burbank videos? My first thought was Frank Shiers because he's always jibber-jabbering about Star Trek etc. ... but another one popped up that echoes the suggestino I made on this blog a few weeks ago!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgPDFWe7rOM

[Gay Gary]

Is Mo Rocca responsible for all these Luke Burbank videos? My first thought was Frank Shiers because he's always jibber-jabbering about Star Trek etc. ... but another one popped up that echoes the suggestino I made on this blog a few weeks ago!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgPDFWe7rOM

[Katelyn]

Another great interview, Michael. Mo Rocca is one of the smartest mouths on Wait-Wait.Must have been fun to talk to him. Maybe if he likes Luke so much, he'll come on TBTL.

[DMT]

TBTL is growing on me, of course so does toe fungus. I hate it but I can't stop turning it on.

[HappyHeathen]

I listened to it once. That was enough.

[Upton]

I've listened to TBTL a couple of times while flipping the dial. I tried to give it a chance, but I just couldn't stay long.

To say the program is childish would be an understatement. So, instead it's usually all about KGO and Gene Burns for me, at least his show caters to thinking adults.

[sparky]

Upton, have you tried streaming his Saturday show on wine and fine dining? It is pretty interesting; I listen to his descriptions of places
I will never be able to afford..

[Duffman]

I just hope and pray that I'm able to hang on to my portable radio so I can listen to KIRO (and Dave, Dori & Luke) When it gets this bad!

[J.Hova]

You could always sell your blood if it comes down between you and a cheap radio.

[nevets]

Duff, just like the old days for these Liberals. Nothing better for a Liberal than to see lines of starving people wanting handouts only they can provide them. That link you provided looks like the bread lines of the old Soviet Union. Thats the first step in thier domination of the USA. Next is to get the laws off the books that are holding them back. Like this one in California.“California lawmakers are eager to once again begin advancing a political ideology responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent people”

The writing is on the walls. The people just need to wake up to see it for what it is.

"FEAR BUSH"

[Gay Gary]

Excellent link, D! This is why I only read the Telegraph, but among British papers even that is barely tolerable. The self-indulgent snobbery of Britons in the face of their own national frailty is disgusting; their hawing of food stamps in disregard for the incredible number of their own countrymen receiving Council Tax benefits is bemusedly remarkable.

I've never understood why American banner-bearers slobbered all over themselves slinking behind the communist Blair or even permitted the crypto-socialist "Conservative" Party membership in the IDU.

But regarding those whom this article references, what a celebration if only it were true ... the eventual thinning of our too robust herd; those Americans who were so quickly spiritually disinclined to worship at the altar of materialism and the twin pillars of evil - capitalism and communism - disregarding the Republic's anti-industrialist foundation. ".. when they reach up their vaunted, strong hands to seize our palaces and purpled ease we will show them what strength is ... in roar of shell and shrapnel and whine of machine guns will our answer be couched. We will crush them under our heel and we will walk upon their faces."

Any-whooo ... what silly willies that Independent ... so much like the Graun sans the wonderfully aristocratic Lulu McSnatch and her moggums Mr. Whiskers of the pre '01 era ...

[Duffman]

I am not gay..I have never been gay! :)

...but, I gotta tell you GG you are a funny dude; and obviously a pretty in-depth thinker.

[Central Concern]

That law nevets has nothing to do with recession or 'the deaths of millions of people' as you tried to sell it to no avail. Interesting that you couldn't just leave the title as it was, the Cold War. You had to gin up the fear factor. You are pathetic.

[RedmondDem]

Nevets, quit writing on that wall! We just cleaned it!

And what the hell -- don't you have enough terrorists to watch out for than to worry about a bunch of old hippie teachers belonging to the Communist party? You need to smoke some weed, man, and chill out.
Power to the People!

[Gay Gary]

Oopsie daisy, D, I had a gay fascist episode -- I need to take the armband off and learn to put that little bird back in its cage! Sorry, gang! ACK! LMAO! :) :) :) :) :)