Stefan sharkansky: waitress slayer

I just get tired of rich people thinking that they can just do whatever they want, whenever they want. I just hope I don't lose my temp job. I know I will. This is just stupid and I don't know what to do.

It started as an waitress's amusing tale on a blog with few readers. It was about waiting table on dour Republican activist Stefan Sharkansky, his attorney/wife Irene and their 5-year old son at the Fremont Classic Pizzeria & Trattoria.

According to her, (and others who wait on them) the Sharkansky's 5-year-old was often "marginally attended," and permitted to be loud, obnoxious, and run annoyingly free in the dining room.

What's more, the Sharkanskys, she wrote, only tip 10%.

Sounds like trivial gotcha gossip well beneath the majesty of the likes of Sharkansky so often called an "influential Seattle Republican." Right?

Wrong.

Hell hath no fury like parenting scorned! And you don't know vindictive 'til you meet the Sharkanskys! Instead of letting this go and minimizing eyeballs to this trivia, the Sharks turned both barrels on the single mother of two who works two jobs and barely keeps her head afloat.

They did opp research, searched public records, got everything they could on her, like the trouble her kid got into; some profane old online rantings about boyfriends and husbands past, and posted everything on Sound Politics. They also found out she worked a 2nd job temping at Amazon.

At first, it was just a lark to her, griping online about a not uncommon server's plaint. So when the Sharks circled, she got her back up- who the hell are they to question my right to speak the truth?

A Shark relative went to the restaurant, raised hell, and she was fired.

"I guess I thought that if I backed down he would 'win,'" the waitress wrote in our threads, "I guess I thought they were empty threats. None of that matters now. I have already been physically threatened in person by one of his relatives. I have been defamed on the Internet. I could lose everything."

She and the original blogger Mercifurious then frantically took down the offending blog entries on both blogs, but that wasn't good enough for the Sharkanskys: they threatened to make trouble over at Amazon, if she didn't make a retraction! To call her own self a liar. 

The waitress was so terrified they might further ruin her life, she made a groveling statement found in our comments threads and posted on Sound Politics, Sharkansky's blog: 

My place it to smile and serve food. It is not to comment on what my customers are doing in the restaurant. I should have known better. I should also realize that sometimes people act differently in different situations and as a person who only has contact with someone for a short period of time, I have no right to say that is how they are. I was misguided and also mistaken, as has been pointed out to me. I was wrong and I do not intend to work in food service in the future so to avoid perhaps offending another unsuspecting family. I am sorry. Please, please forgive me. Please don't take it out on other food service workers.

The Sharkanskys put down the gun they had pointed at her head and magnanimously accepted her heartfelt mea culpa, and apology.

Power and intimidation not only beat her, but it beat her down.

(Shark's blog got famous after leading the legally frivolous, but politically monkey-wrenching post election fight after the tight 2005 gubernatorial election; and is inarguably the primary bloggly mouthpiece for the Seattle Republican minority).

We mentioned the kerfuffle in our oddems Friday and a shootin' war erupted in our comments threads.

Using language he'd never use in his straight-laced conservative blog, Stefan called us "a sick twisted fuck," which hurt our feelings but hey, we're political and hardened to such abuse. The waitress, however, is wholly apolitical; she had no idea who the hell Sharkansky was. She says she gets her news from E! online.

She didn't smear a 5-year old, as the Sharks tried to spin it, but called the lack of due parenting diligence for what it was: public rudeness, and inconsideration.

Was it not in her best interest for a waitress to spill that online? Yes. Was it worth 5 minutes of the Sharks' precious time and waning credibility to act so heavy handedly to intimidate her? The answer to that is no, as so many of his own readers wrote Friday.

It's a lesson how power, money, and entitlement can make economically vulnerable people crumble in on themselves. We'll not soon forget the words of her desperation: I'm just a waitress, well, I was just a waitress...

We admit it- we love to pull Stefan's tail because he's such a pompous and humorless jerk. but we're just grateful our livelihood doesn't depend on serving people like him and his female counterpart.

Stefan is often mentioned as a Republican break-through candidate for an urban Seattle office. This incident shows what an utter delusion that is.

Comments

[Brenda]

Love it. keep it up!

[Andrew]

My wife and I will pray for Steffany. We hope her lost income is replaced quickly for the sake of her family.

[JC]

breathtaking. this whole drama reminds me of this story:

ELM MOTT, Texas - A Navy man who got mad when someone mocked him as a "nerd" over the Internet climbed into his car and drove 1,300 miles from Virginia to Texas to teach the other guy a lesson.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19980505/

[Duffman]

I think Bla'M has summed this up appropriately. I believe we are past the point of diminishing return on any further discussion hereon.

[sara]

My heart goes out to her. She had no idea people could be so petty.

[sparky]

The sad thing is, they will do this again to anyone who dares criticize their kid...Woe to the teacher who ends up with this family. I hope they seriously consider home schooling because nobody will be allowed to reprimand this boy.

It was sad to read the waitress write " My place is to..." like she is a second class citizen. If she had written, "It's my job to..." that would be different.

[Noam]

good for you blatherwatch, for removing this embarrassing storyline. you did the right thing. if nothing else, the lesson that actions result in consequences was driven home, at the expense of this poor woman.

[Andrew]

Actualy I think the lesson is that you have to be more discreet when leaking information. If she'd told her story more ambiguously, as if it were from the perspective of a nearby patron, then she might not have been identified.

Also, since employees represent their companies, a person should quit a job prior to dishing dirt they learned about on that job if they are certain to be named. A Delta Airlines filght attendant was fired for bad mouthing her own company on the internet - no surprise their.

Steffany's account struck me as genuine, and I'm glad she ulitmately contributed to a better understanding of a public figure who'd have us think he's someone he's not. He has his own Ministry Of Disinformation hard at work.

[Noam]

Discreet...and truthful.

[wutitiz]

About 30 yrs. ago I was interested in religion and visited many different kinds of churches--everything from Pentacostal churches to an Opus Dei-oriented Catholic church at Notre Dame, to a Moon meeting in NY.
One thing you notice about religious people is that any and everything is interpreted through religion. An earthquake occurs, and it's a warning from God. A cold goes away, and God cured it.
Now I'm an atheist and interested in politics, and am seeing the same phenomenon. Hillary fails to leave a tip, and its proof of her queenlike nature, and fits right in with her wish to impose state health care on all of us. Shark tips 10%, and it's a rich vs. poor issue, a lesson in everything from economics to family values.

[sparky]

You're right wutitiz..a bully is a bully regardless of their persuasion, religious, political or otherwise.

This ceased to be a story about tipping when the Shark family took it to another level. I find it interesting there are still comments from people who believe him when he says it was all a lie. Why is he more believable?

[Gusto]

Another good reason why we need to exterminate the Republicans.

[PugetSound]

Hey Sparky, someone must be posting under your name. Check it out:
"This ceased to be a story about tipping when the Shark family took it to another level. I find it interesting there are still comments from people who believe him when he says it was all a lie. Why is he more believable?

Posted by: sparky"

I KNOW it can't be you, cause just yesterday you wrote about how you were tired of this whole kerfuffel and weren't going to talk about it anymore? didn't you write "Oh pleassssse let this die. Everything that could be said has been said! Enough!!!

Figured you would like to know someone was posting under your name and making you look to be disengenuous.

[trickydick]

This ceased to be a story about tipping when the Shark family took it to another level. I find it interesting there are still comments from people who believe him when he says it was all a lie. Why is he more believable?

Because she said it was mostly untrue...?

Not taking either side just look here

[PugetSound]

If it was true story , why did Merci buckle? he's not a single mother of two and judging by his past comments and his website motif -butchering victims/no kitty repellent- he must have a real set of stones.
if he thought it was still true i'm betting that he would stand up to the sharkansky family and not do an el foldo without even an appology.

look lets be honest, it's a dishy story on someone with a different slant on politics. fine. go for it. the story didn't need to include the snarky comments on the kid. you could have still had a snarky tee hee story on a public figure and left it at that. instead, the gratuitious comments on the kid were included and it was what people took away from it. at least many people. now think about it for a second, if you get slammed its one thing but if your 5 year old is described as some sort of monkey, etc your gonna take issue with it especially if you think it isn't true.

[PugetSound]

Sparky
" I find it interesting there are still comments from people who believe him when he says it was all a lie. Why is he more believable?

Posted by: sparky | August 26, 2007 at 12:09 PM"

actually, i am taking HER word and MErci's actions as the most telling. she also posted on Sound Politics that she requested that this website take the story down a few days ago. i don't know if that happened but i guess that it ain't gonna happen as Blam is not afraid of a showdown.

[Michael Caine]

Merci buckled because he has a heart and compassion about someone who is getting her life systematically picked apart by a vengeful and spiteful group of people. A group of people so twisted that they actually believe the narrative so far supports them and makes them look them look like victims.

What Stefan did to the woman and the implied threat that he can and will do to anyone else deserves nothing but scorn.

[PugetSound]

Sparky
That person spinning under your name the other day first comments on the story had little to do with tipping and much on the 5 year old. This is what the Sparky poster put as her first reaction to the story:

"Why is it the people with the brattiest kids are the ones who never notice they are being brats? In the grocery store, I like to count the number of times mothers say to their children, "This is the LAST time I am going to tell you did you hear me, Im not going to say it again, did you hear me, not one more time, next time you go to the car, did you hear me, Im not going to tell you again!"

Kids who cant handle a restaurant should be taken to family friendly establishments, or the parents should find a babysitter. It is easier on the kid and the thoughtful thing to do.

Posted by: sparky | August 24, 2007 at 05:01 PM"

See what I mean, nothing on tipping. Obviously whoever was posting under your name took away from the story that the 5 year old wasn't a very good person. Figured you would also want to know about this 'false' poster who is again making you look a little ph(J)oanie.

[PugetSound]

"What Stefan did to the woman and the implied threat that he can and will do to anyone else deserves nothing but scorn.

Posted by: Michael Caine | August 26, 2007 at 12:45 PM"

yes, unlike the person that tried to make a defenseless 5 year old child look bad....she really has the high moral ground here. for the record, the sharkansky family tried to do this without publicity but as the lady writes she didn't want to let them win...win what? the defamation of a 5 year old?

[sparky]

I gave up a long time ago trying to figure out who posts under what name.

Sorry, I will have to agree to disagree with you Puts. I work with parents like the Shark and his wife all the time and in 30 years of experience, I have found that most often the parents who scream the loudest that their kid is being picked on are the ones most in need of lessons in parenthood.
I am not surprised in the least that he and his wife saw nothing wrong with the kid's behavior, and labeled it a lie. I hear it all the time. And the kid is the one who ultimately pays the price.

Now, Im done with this.

[Michael Caine]

The child didn't look bad, the child acted poorly and the parents looked bad. Twisting words only takes you so far.

[Andrew]

The five year made himself look bad.

PugetSound is a tool. He/She believes a retraction made under threat is genuine. We're not as dumb as PugetSound looks.

[scottd]

the defamation of a 5 year old kid

LOL! How does one defame a 5- year old? That's the biggest piece of misdirection Sharkansky's thrown into his tantrum.

When one writes about the bratty behavior of a pre-schooler, this isn't a reflection on the child so much as a reflection on the parent. Sharkansky can huff and puff all he wants about how he is defending the honor of his family, but the fact his, he's using this as a shield to hide his own thin-skinned bullying.

[N in Seattle]

Egads, this thing took place at the Fremont Classic. I had no idea Stefan ever got that close to me. There goes the neighborhood...

[N in Seattle]

Egads, this thing took place at the Fremont Classic. I had no idea Stefan ever got that close to me. There goes the neighborhood...

[PugetSound]

Andrew
Even a Tool can make you look foolish. now be a good fellow and put down that fish. it is awfully stinky.

[PugetSound]

andrew:
would you agree the stuff about the kid was gratuitous? same story, just omit the stuff about the kid? wouldn't that have been better, to err on the side of good taste? you tell me?

[PugetSound]

andrew:
would you agree the stuff about the kid was gratuitous? same story, just omit the stuff about the kid? wouldn't that have been better, to err on the side of good taste? you tell me?

[chucks]

Is not a great deal of this story the "gotcha" that merci had so much joy sharing with the world? Did Stefany know that merci was going to post this on his blog when she shared her experience with him. Was the story puffed up when she told it to him? Did merci puff up the story more when he posted it?
Did Shark over react to the story? Did he in fact ask that the story be retracted in a tasteful or tactful way in the beginning?
Too many questions about something that really does not matter.
Maybe it is time for us to go back to attacking each other for our political views and let both families go back to being normal sometimes flawed families like the rest of ours. Let's fight over stuff that matters. We have Darcy the dits trying to take the job of a well qualified congress critter.
We have an army of liberal moon bats trying to sneak in to the white house.
We have a govner that conspired with Ron Sims and Dean Logan to successfully steal an election.

See, we gots us some real issues to deal with.
Kind regards.

[PugetSound]

chucks right, although it will be interesting when merci comes back to see if he posted the story with permission and why did he take it down if he still thinks it is true.

[sparky]

chucks, Im going to have to go donate another 10$ to Darcy in your name now :-)

[scottd]

PS:

The whole story was gratuitous -- true or not, it was simple gossip told to someone who went and published it in his somewhat obscure blog.

It would have stayed that way but for Sharkansky's nuclear response -- which reveals far more about his character than the original story.

[chucks]

I don't know putz, but although I do not agree with merci on much, I don't think that he is a heartless SOB. If it was causing her a lot of stress and she is a friend of his, he may have just removed it as a friend. There would be nothing about that that I would find disagreeable.
But we really do have more important issues on the table than tip/childgate.

[chucks]

sparky
Stop that!!!
I already shelled out 2 grand to take my grand daughter to see the Prez this week.
(not)

[Andrew]

It seems that PugetSound is siding with Sharky simply because the waitress dared to speak ill of the child, but the disagreeable way in which the story might have been told doesn't make the story any less true.

[PugetSound]

chucks, i don't think merci is a heartless sob either. he has talent and wit. i hope that he goes out and uses both of em well in the future.
he played a game of 'snarky gotcha' that got out of hand and he got a taste of the consequences. if he had it to do all over again, he probably wouldn't have written the story the way he did in the first place. that's my guess.
printing mean things about other people can come back to bite you. before when he was doing it to radio host styble he could just laugh it off as styble kept it at the email level. this was different. the shark family know how to protect themselves -which is their right and anyone reading this knows they would probably do the very same thing that the shark family did if they could.
merci's been laying low and at some point he'll be going back on the net. maybe he'll choose to address it.

[PugetSound]

andrew
your spot on. i see you didn't waste all your time watching matlock reruns after all. omit the child from the story and you got a little snarky piece that sharkansky and his wife would have probably ignored. a few of us would have read it and that would have been about it.
the stuff about the tipping/google eyes etc would just be laughed off.

[jim]

didn't ms. clinton stiff a waitress during here senatorial campaign? never mind thats different.

[LeeAnn]

No it isnt. If she stiffed the help then she has poor manners also.

[LeeAnn]

By the way, Sharkansky is now legitimately going to be famous nation wide, as this whole thing is now a front page story on Daily Kos.
Hope you are happy.

[jeepndesert]

This is one reason why I left the Republican Party. I hope the Sharkanskys lose their position and power. I would turn the tables back.

Any public figure with wealth who tips only 10% to a working mother and then gets her fired over a blog deserves to be burned at the stake. The Sharkanskys are less than animals.

[PugetSound]

and who do you think linked it there, LeeAnn?
hmmm, a real puzzler... it sure wasn't sharkansky, merci doesn't look to have stomach for it, and unlikely it was the posters. now who here is linked to kos?

[sig]

PugetWound: it was posted on Daily Kos by Seattle diarist Mcjoan. Stefan is finally getting the national audience he's always craved. I wish he would run for something... it would be fun to watch. BTW, all the entries Stefan tried to delete and Merci's and Steffany's original posts are available on google cache or deliciosa for all to see.

[PugetSound]

Sig sez:
"Stefan is finally getting the national audience he's always craved."
thanks for the heads up. Sig. You can call me Puts if it is easier than typing out Puget Wound.
Anyway, I doubt the ex waitress and merci also 'craved' this same 'national attention.'

[Chris N.]

Stiffing a waitress is the same as getting her fired?

[Andrew]

PugetSound, are you saying we should all pretend the kid doesn't exist? Are you saying the fact that his parents let him runs loose to bother patrons is immaterial? I think not.

[PugetSound]

andy, sez
"...I think not."
more like 'I think little'
yes, leave the kid out of it. c'mon, you have the bad end of the argument. just let the fish go....

[scottd]

...leave the kid out of it...

Why? How is he being injured?

[chucks]

You know Andrew, I do not know about Puts, but yes. We should pretend that the child does not exist. There is no evidence that the child did or did not misbehave. For that matter, who of us with kids have not had moments of embarrassment with our kids.
When I was a little shit, my dad would just back hand me and tell me to sit down and shut up. If Shark did that, some bozo would call 911. And for goodness sakes, it is a pizza parlor. Not Ruths Chriss of Chez something or other.
You libs (scuse my, pergressives) have plenty of crap to whine about. You have important stuff to do. You have that Darcy lady that needs a job.

[PugetSound]

chuck sez
"You have important stuff to do. You have that Darcy lady that needs a job."

i am in agreement with chuck on both the kid and the fact that darcy needs a job. being president of the aames lake homeowners association isn't going to carry her too far.