Your self-sacrificing night-crawler has been on an indefinite (I believed eternal) hiatus from late-night KIRO-blather. Aside from one listen to trucker-talk and their syndicated talk/advertisement-netherworld, I've been giving the AA diaspora (KPTK) my primary attention.
But upon hearing that Styblehead Boast-to-Boast (AKA "DJ Not Found?") had been brought back from the dead for one night only (*see below) to cover the impending snow storm, I decided to be the canary in the KIRO overnight coal-mine - at least one last time.
Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster I wasn't actually stuck in a car during the supposed storm - exposed to a natural disaster far worse: The resurrected Styblehead. Had I been, authorities would have found me with a bad-case of rigor mortis - rescued only eventually by a carbon monoxide-induced sweet-death.
How bad was it? It was the following sandwich of badness:
It was just this bad.
I cringed through a 15 minute Stybleboast about how he once "Disproved Dristan". Apparently after viewing one-too-many Dristan ads showing " winter" tests, Styblehead went on a brisk Styblewalk in the dead of said winter. Much to the chagrin of late-night radio listeners everywhere, Styble survived - and later found out that he had walked through "the worst winter ever" - thus disproving the severity of said Dristan test winter. All facts in this rant were of course the sole property of Styblehead, inc.
It was just this bad.
To make over-heated fecal-matters worse, Styblehead breached all boundaries of the 1st Amendment, reaching an all-time talk-radio low - his neocon theology rants included - with this bile:
"I think Van Halen was a much better band with Sammy Haggar than with David Lee Roth"
Blasphemer! Infidel! I have one word for you: "UNCHAINED!"
Cthulu reserves a special afterlife damnation for all those who in any way appreciate or condone Van Halen with that abhorrant Bette Midler drag-act on vocals.
(I'm just sayin' what everybody's thinkin'!)
And what rock did these Styblehead Boast-to-Boast disciples crawl out of? Mysterious hybrid orcs - possibly Glenn Beck fans - evacuated their caves & called-in with praises for their foul demigod. Some unintentional comedy arrived when several callers OPENLY aired their grievences - nay, hatred - against KIRO over the Midnight Radio Network. More untintentional comedy followed when Styblehead tried to relieve their angst by claiming he had once discussed St.Thomas Aquinas with a trucker. Again, relying on Styblefacts, inc.
I felt like giving Styblehead a big
welcome/goodbye on behalf of the blatherwatch nation, and attempted to call-in, but was put on hold
indefinitely (eternaly). After our
last exchange, I really shouldn't be suprised.
Conclusion: Upon reminiscing about the glory days of overnight Styblehead, I was confronted with grim reality: In the overnight radio race for worst-ever broadcast between Styblehead and Trucker-talk, we have a tie.
* Styblehead claimed that his show's demise was just a KIRO "re-scheduling", and that his return (nearly two months later for only one night) was also due to KIRO "re-scheduling". But of course we all know that this is a big pile of Styblehead's favorite word - CRAP.
A bigger spin I have not heard since Faux News tried changing the transcript of O'Reilly's anti-troop "Malmedy" debacle
Bryan Styble R.I.P., 2006-2006
(until Seattle's next snow storm)