Conservative talk host Rush Limpbaugh, 55, was detained at the Palm Beach Airport Monday after authorities said they found a bottle of the prescription drug Viagra in his possession.
(The widely abused drug is for erectile dysfunction, which means that Limpbaugh has to take pills to arouse his diminutive penis enough for normal sexual activity).
Smuggling and snuggling has been ruled out since Big Pants was alone on his private plane when it landed at the airport around 2p from the Dominican Republic.
He reportedly broke up with CNN anchor Daryn Kagan months ago.
Limbaugh's attorney Roy Black said the trip was a much needed vacation, "He just wanted to get a hold of himself."
"You may not want to shake his hand, but a man has the right to relax," said Black.
Erectile dysfunction is not untypical of drug users, the obese, men over the 50, the flatulant, and even the youngest of conservatives, according to Dr. Edgar "Choch" Manaña of Stanford Medical Center.
"Mr. Limpbaugh," he says, "is in all the risk groups. It has to do with repressed desires, tight sphinctering, narrow world views, or the simple curiosity to see an organ not seen in years or sometimes even decades."
Many in the blogosphere are wondering aloud, "Why the Dominican Republic with drugs that enhances sexual performance?" The extremely poor, mostly black Third World country is a popular stop for sex tourists.
But Black tried to quash those suspicions, saying said Limbaugh went to the Caribbean for "prayer, meditation and self-help."
Limbaugh, who admitted on the radio to be addicted to pain drugs in 2003, entered into a plea agreement in April. The charge of fraud to conceal information to obtain prescriptions (known as "doctor-shopping") was dropped under the condition he continue undergoing treatment for addiction.
Big Pants could face charges if authorities rule that this incident is a violation of his plea deal.
Limbaugh whose third marriage ended a few years ago, has used sexually explicit language (he talked about blow jobs- a big no-no in the evangelical community) on his radio show, and been arrested on drug charges, is said to be having problems with his religious socially conservative base audience.
"He does not want what God says- anyone who doesn't want what God says is going to have values problems," Rev. Ken Hutcherson, the fiery homophobic evangelical preacher and fishing buddy of Rush's told Blatherwatch last year.
There's evidence that Limbaugh's dominance in markets across the country has been waning in the last couple of years.
Some radio observers (including BlatherWatch) have predicted that Rush may retire this year. This humiliation may hasten that decision.
But Black tried to quash those suspicions, saying said Limbaugh went to the Caribbean for "prayer, meditation and self-help."
God, how terrible, to need viagra for self-help.
Posted by: JDB | June 27, 2006 at 01:24 AM
Having the whole planet know that you can't "get it up" anymore is enough pnishment for anyone. Imagine the jokes for late night night tv and the Comedy Central news programs. HEEEEEE
Posted by: Ryder | June 27, 2006 at 07:07 AM
obviously the Viagra was for his limp ratings...
Posted by: sparky | June 27, 2006 at 07:11 AM
I haven't heard anything about the culpability of the doctor who wrote a bogus prescription, intentionally falsifying the name, nor anything about whether a pharmacist filled the bogus prescription, also in violation of the law.....
Posted by: sparky | June 27, 2006 at 10:01 AM
haha a smartass told Rush that Bush has expanded the war on terror to include drugs and antiwar student organizations. Then he asked the gasbag "What are you going to do when they expand the war on terror to say sex tourism in the Dominican Republic?" His call was immediately dumped and gasbag chortled and harrumphed away as if the caller was stll there, without acknowledging the comment.
Posted by: Tommy008 | June 27, 2006 at 10:45 AM
Tommy, are you a professional radio listener?
Sparky, I heard on the news that the prescription was made out to another doctor . . . maybe he borrowed them. I don't know about these things! (LOL)
Posted by: joanie | June 27, 2006 at 10:50 AM
Gasbag is trying to play the Viagra thing off like Henny Youngman, with snappy oneliners, forced laughter- everything but rimshots. In reality this is a major humiliation job for the pompous posturer.
Posted by: Tommy008 | June 27, 2006 at 11:19 AM
I had to drive around this morning. Rush on his show stated he was down in the Dom. Rep. for a "Boys Weekend."
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.....,
Posted by: JDB | June 27, 2006 at 11:50 AM
i listened to a man call in this morning who is also on felony probation for drug abuse. He said one of the first things they did was to take away his passport because felons on probation are forbidden to leave the country, so he was wondering how Rush was allowed to go anywhere.
Rush will never beat his addiction until he first admits he is an addict, and then finds a treatment center that does not discharge him as "cured" in 5 weeks. He needs to quit working the system by having others enable his addictions by either covering for him or aiding his illegal behavior by performing illegal acts themselves.
Posted by: sparky | June 27, 2006 at 01:45 PM
Actually, Rush was a guest of a very rich person who lives in DR. Since you didn't know, poeple like Oscar de la Renta, Julio Iglesias and sugar baron Papa Fanjul have fabulous huge estates there and there are also several very exclusive resorts there as well. Seems you aren't very informed. FYI tons of guys younger and fitter that the Big L like the V for long term pleasure! As for leaving the country, The Big L was Never Even Convicted of doctor shopping with a felony. He is merely on probation and has passed regular random drug screening. PBC can't wait to try and drag him through the mud any chance they get. Instead of sitting here making shit up why don't you try and win back your sorry party in "The Arena of Ideas" instead of silly little smears :)
Posted by: sarah greaves | June 27, 2006 at 02:02 PM
So Ms. Greaves, you are saying that Rush needed the viagra for a weekend with Julio Iglesias?
eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....
Posted by: JDB | June 27, 2006 at 02:35 PM
Actually Sarah, I tend to agree that people are making a mountain out of a molehill here, or a puptent perhaps. But as far as making up shit, you must be kidding me. Aren't you in the Swiftboat party and the party that thinks flag-burning and gay marriage are the big issues? And what constructive things did you guys do while Clinton was President anyway?
Posted by: David Tatelman | June 27, 2006 at 03:05 PM
I'm pretty much with you, David. So he went down to get some action and needed a little help . . .
you gotta admit, he dishes it out pretty good so he probably deserves every wink, nod, and late night joke that he gets. And I think he knows it.
And it totally bewilders me that the right doesn't get that their behavior with Clinton was a hundred times more devastating to the business of running government than anything the left has done or will do.
Posted by: joanie | June 27, 2006 at 03:57 PM
Hmmm Sarah, that group of people that Pills Limbaugh visited sounds like the "Super Adventure Club" that was featured on South Park.
Posted by: The Boxer Dog | June 27, 2006 at 04:18 PM
God bless Rush Limbaugh and George W. Bush.
Can you only imagine what this country would look like if we hadn't run Clinton out of the White House?
God bless our troops.
Posted by: Rush Worshipper | June 27, 2006 at 04:23 PM
Clinton completed his two terms...
Posted by: The Boxer Dog | June 27, 2006 at 04:31 PM
run Clinton out in disgrace...
Posted by: Rush Worshipper | June 27, 2006 at 04:41 PM
It's prime time and KIRO has two shock jocks talking about pets.
What a shame!
Intellectual talk please! I can't believe Ron and Don are getting any sort of ratings. I have to believe they're on there way out.
Posted by: The Anti KIRO | June 27, 2006 at 04:45 PM
I can't help you Rush Worshipper if you have to pimp yourself for a pill popping liar--it's your life
Posted by: The Boxer Dog | June 27, 2006 at 04:48 PM
Sorry Boxer...but the scoreboard doesn't lie:
PAST 40 YEARS: Red:28 Blue:12
Republican 28
(GWB-8, GB-4, RR-8, GF/RN-8)
Democrats 12
(BC-8, JC-4)
Posted by: Rush Worshipper | June 27, 2006 at 04:54 PM
Ron and Don
Champions of the fake laugh and the "everyone's buddy complex"
'F this show...intellectual talk please...Savage is better than thi rubbish.
Posted by: The Anti KIRO | June 27, 2006 at 04:57 PM
Sarah..so sorry your honey needs Viagra...mine doesnt! woof!
Posted by: sparky | June 27, 2006 at 05:03 PM
Rush Worshipper:
Like your hero, you are a bit fact challenged:
In fact, polls show that Clinton's job approval rating as he left office was as high or higher than Reagan's when he left office. Clinton's final Gallup job approval rating was 66 percent, compared with 63 percent (subscription required) for Reagan. A January 17, 2004, ABC News online article cited an ABC News/Washington Post poll showing a 65 percent job approval rating for Clinton at the end of his presidency, compared with a 64 percent rating for Reagan at the end of his. CBS News polls showed a 68 percent approval rating for both Clinton and Reagan at the end of their respective presidencies.
http://mediamatters.org/items/200511010014
If having twice the approval of the current occupant of the White House is being run out in disgrace, what do you call Bush?
Posted by: JDB | June 27, 2006 at 05:11 PM
For years Rush has arrogantly proclaimed that anyone who abuses drugs deserves to be sent straight to jail, no questions asked. When Jerry Garcia died, Rush feigned outrage at the idea that Jerry's fans could still support him...so its more than "probably" that he has brought this on himself. Now that HE is the one brought down by drugs, he wants special treatment. He has spent the last few months scolding the American public about how they should support spying by the government...until it is HIS medical records the government wants to see. Then he wants special treatment.
His hipocracy is breathtaking...and he has brought all this joke telling wink-wink-nudge-nudge, as well as all his legal problems on himself.
Posted by: sparky | June 27, 2006 at 05:11 PM
This Ron and Don schtick is old and tired.
"We read the papers so you don't have to..." What the hell does that mean? These guys might use a newspaper to swat a fly. I truly doubt these guys read anything...
It's time to go back to the gym guys. There's no substanc to their arguments. I doubt these guys study any further tahn high school.
Sorry good bye.
Posted by: The Anti KIRO | June 27, 2006 at 06:20 PM
Ron and Don...
Everyone wants to be a talk show host!
Time to find a new career guys!
Posted by: The Anti KIRO | June 27, 2006 at 06:54 PM
"Dr. Edgar "Choch" Manaña of Stanford Medical Center." That name is SO familiar...didn't he invent polio vaccine or was it RU-284? Help me out here, Bla'M!
Posted by: Fremont | June 27, 2006 at 08:59 PM
BTW, Bla'M: If your viagra has three a's in it, it's probably a counterfeit from Pfeizer-a!
Posted by: Fremont | June 27, 2006 at 09:03 PM
OK Van Dyne...it's time you also find a new career.
When you talk about Star (on the View) are you referring to that fat chick on the ABC show or to Dori Monson's lousy dog???
Posted by: The Anti KIRO | June 27, 2006 at 09:21 PM
There you go...Van Dyne is so desparate for callers that he gets Ron from the Ron and Don show to call in!!!
The phone bank must be EMPTY at KIRO...no flasing red lights.
Posted by: The Anti KIRO | June 27, 2006 at 11:29 PM
Van Dyne just got eaten up by the caller regarding calling the mother of the baby a "criminal"
What an IDIOT!
Posted by: The Anti KIRO | June 27, 2006 at 11:46 PM
I still say Put Bithen !! BOBBY! on late night, and put the over baked brain of the over night, the one the Only STYBLEHEAD Its just really bad radio, back on the small bus to western state Hosp! This time Styblehead!! keep on the white helmet with the big chin strap! and leave the cleaning lady alone ! hooty hoo !
Posted by: Brian in Lacey | June 27, 2006 at 11:48 PM
Styble, Styble, Styble...
I will call into your show but only if you allow me to use my true name:
Anti KIRO
Posted by: The Anti KIRO | June 28, 2006 at 01:32 AM
I don't understand why people aren't liking Van Dyne - he's good. Maybe not Dave Ross - but a better host than Goldy is.
Styble on the other hand -is- bad. Vividly bad.
Was listening to him about 20 minutes ago, for a duration of about 90 seconds.
He was, as always, talking about what might be interesting to talk about on talk radio ("here on the Bryan Styble show...")
Totally impossible to listen to.
Had to pull over and recite the "serenity prayer" twice before being able to continue my drive home.
Posted by: spambutcher | June 28, 2006 at 02:15 AM
The Styblehead! Its not Funny! Its Just REALLY BAD radio ! Put Bobby on from 1:00am to 5:00am! Save us From the Over Baked brain of the over night ! the styblehood !
Posted by: Dan | June 28, 2006 at 07:27 AM
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Posted by: Brian | June 28, 2006 at 08:05 AM
Ok i just spewed my coffee all over!!
Thanks for the ROFL of the day!!
Posted by: sparky | June 28, 2006 at 08:33 AM
haha Styble said some guy sent him an email inviting him to a radio enthusiasts convention down at the Seattle Center. Styble's huge ego bloated up thinking the guy was a fan and as he walked into the convention and shook the promoter's hand he said in his big cheesy voice "Thank you for inviting me, and thank you fro listening to THE BRyAn STYBLE SHOW- 'OPEN LINES FOR OPEN MINDS'! the guy looked at him and went"huh? i don't listen to that show. .You were just on some email list i got to send out invites to.
Posted by: Tommy008 | June 28, 2006 at 08:58 AM
Bryan Styble the rain man of the over night ! heavy panting ! it is really really bad radio , makes me want to go out and buy XM
Posted by: James | June 28, 2006 at 09:31 AM
Gawd, Brain, that is freakin' ingenious! Hysterical! ROFLMAO! Thanks!
Posted by: Fremont | June 28, 2006 at 10:04 AM
Yeah, Brian. Good one!
Tommy: Styble actually told that story? Riveting radio.
Posted by: joanie | June 28, 2006 at 10:17 AM
Heard Andrew on Dave Ross this morning. Ya did good, Andrew. This estate tax is going to be a tough fight. Callers making the point that a house on Queen Anne Hill or a couple of houses in high-value areas get you to two million rather quickly. I can't refute that. . . wish the estate value were raised.
Two million sounds like a lot but really it isn't today . . . even though I 'd like to have it! Anybody who has some property knows the term "property poor." Wealth is passed on via assets and I don't think one should have to sell the bulk of assets to pay the tax.
I'm for estate taxes, but set the wealth meter a little higher . . .
Posted by: joanie | June 28, 2006 at 03:06 PM
Dori aspires to be Ann Coulter.
I can hear it in his voice.
Posted by: coochie mama | June 28, 2006 at 03:20 PM
oh tell all! how did that go??
Posted by: sparky | June 28, 2006 at 06:05 PM
Does this mean he is going to be an even bigger dick than he already is?
Well, at least he should be able to stand up straight.
Posted by: adc | June 28, 2006 at 06:23 PM
I am sure he will rise to the occasion
Posted by: sparky | June 28, 2006 at 06:27 PM
ROFLMFAO, Sparklerina, et. al.!
Posted by: Fremont | June 28, 2006 at 10:50 PM
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Posted by: Buy Generic Viagra | July 08, 2006 at 07:15 AM
yes, Rush was in the DR having fun at an escorts resort like many other men do each year (3+ million visitors the island )mostly Americans. Was he having an erotic adult vacation illegally? hardly so. The place mentioned has no minors as escorts (www.charlisangels.com ) and the women are from Ukraine, in Eastern Europe. Anyone can travel freely to have an adult vacation anywhere, as long as the escorts are over 18 years old, it should be no problem. Case Closed!
Posted by: william F | October 09, 2007 at 12:10 PM
Yes..so thank you for reminding us about it.
Posted by: sparky | October 09, 2007 at 01:17 PM